Broken By Blood
by gothina234
Summary: Morgan finds Reid outside on his porch, catatonic and bloody, the team searches for what happened to the youngest member of their team and see horrors that they find difficult to face The unsub isn't done yet, he has plans in store for Reid and it is up to the team to try bring Reid to reality before it is too late
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, here is the new fanfic for you all. It will get updated daily and I hope you enjoy it. The rating may go up later but I'm not sure. This will feature some of my most horrific stuff yet. At least I think so.  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan moaned as he came out his sleep. Someone had knocked on his door. He slowly got out of bed and looked at his alarm clock. It was three am in the morning. Getting to his feet, he brushed his hand over his head and made his way down the stairs. He turned on the hall light and looked through the peep-hole. He didn't see anyone at the door. He cautiously opened it and looked out, he took a step on the porch and saw someone sat on his porch swing with a blanket covering them and obscuring them. Walking forward, Morgan looked down and noticed that the person was wearing blood covered converses. His sleepy mind snapped awake. He recognised those converses. He rushed forward and stepped in front of the porch swing.

"Reid," Morgan gasped in horror as he saw that Reid was completely soaked in blood. There was a blindfold over his eyes soaked with blood and a cloth gag covering his mouth. Morgan rushed forward and ripped the gag away from Reid's mouth, he felt sick as he saw that his friend's mouth was sewn shut. He ripped away the blindfold and found that Reid's eyes were sewn shut too. "Oh god! Reid, it's going to be okay. Nod if you can hear me."

He did nothing. Reid did nothing but sit there. No sounds came from him, only the sound of his breathing through his nose came from him. Morgan pulled the blanket down further and saw that blood completely soaked Reid's hair, clothes and body. He rushed inside and grabbed his phone. He frantically dialled 911 and gave them his address. He disconnected the call and dialled Hotch's number.

* * *

Hotch pulled up his car on the sidewalk outside Morgan's house. He saw an ambulance in the driveway and paramedics on the porch. He rushed out of the car and to the porch. He saw the paramedics cutting the thread carefully from Reid's eyes and lips. He stopped dead at the sight of the crimson blood covering the youngest of his team. Reid looked like Carrie after the pig's blood except worse. The paramedics tried to get any kind of response from Reid but they couldn't. He simply stared ahead with his mouth shut and blood dripping down from his hair.

He knelt in front of Reid, next to the paramedics. "Spencer, it's Hotch. Talk to me. I need you to say something. That is an order, Reid. Tell me, what happened?"

Nothing. No response came from Reid.

"He needs to go to hospital now," the paramedic said. "He's in deep shock, practically catatonic. He isn't even responding to anything we do. I've tried to get him to walk but he won't do it. Mike, get the backboard!"

Morgan helped the paramedics lay him down on the backboard. They strapped him to it and carried him to the ambulance. "Morgan, I need you to call forensics and see if they can find anything on the porch. I need to go to the hospital with Reid. I'm his medical contact. Call the others and get them working on this. I want to know where Reid went after we left work last night."

"O-Okay," Morgan said shakily. "Hotch, whose blood is that? It's not Reid's blood. There is so much of it. His eyes, I mean who-."

"Morgan, we'll figure this out. Just do what I asked. Get the team on this."

* * *

Hotch sat in the waiting room. Garcia had joined him while the rest of the team was working on finding out what had happened to Reid. "He isn't hurt," Garcia said gently to herself. "The blood wasn't his. It wasn't his."

"He's okay," Hotch said to her as he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Physically, I couldn't see any injuries."

A young female doctor walked into the room. "Spencer Reid?"

"I'm his medical contact," Hotch said immediately before gesturing to Garcia. "Miss Garcia is also allowed to know his medical condition."

"Okay," she nodded. "I'm Dr Bates. Physically, Spencer is fine. A little dehydrated and a few bruises around his wrists but he has no major injuries and hasn't been sexually assaulted. He has some needle marks around his mouth and eyes from when they were sewn shut but it isn't major damage. Mentally, he is severely traumatized and almost catatonic. It's like his body has regressed to only responding to basic human functions. He let a nurse feed him after we had cleaned him up but he won't speak or move unless it is to eat. The nurse described feeding him like feeding a baby. She had to wipe his mouth and tell him to open his mouth. We've taken samples of the blood and he got photographed for evidence. We cleaned him up and gave him a fresh set of clothes. I ran a tox screen but there is nothing in his system. I've never seen so much blood covering someone in my life."

"Will he come out of it?" Garcia asked. "He sees horrific things everyday. What could have happened to make him like this?"

"Whoever did this to him has traumatized him to a level I've not seen during my career. Please, come with me. You might be able to get a response but I'm not hopeful."

Hotch and Garcia followed her to a private room. She opened the door and they all walked in gently. Garcia went to the bed and took Reid's hand. It scared her how he just looked at the ceiling. "Reid, it's Garcia. Can you talk to me? You don't have to be scared. I'm the nice one remember, with the cookies and colours."

Garcia put her hand to her mouth and let tears burn her eyes when Reid simply looked ahead. He looked so lost. Bringing her hand away from her mouth, she stroked it through his clean hair. "Oh Reid, please talk to us."

"I don't know what did this to him but it must have been incredibly horrific. I'm allowing someone to stay with him. Does he have any family?"

"We are his family," Hotch said. "My team will take shifts with him. Can you send the samples to our FBI lab? I want a rush on whose blood he got covered in."

"I'll have it sorted," Dr Bates nodded. "I'll leave you alone. Please call a nurse if you need any help."

Hotch walked over to the bed and saw Garcia begin to cry. He put a hand on her shoulder. "He'll be okay, Garcia. We'll make sure he is. I'm going to find out who did this to him."

* * *

Garcia surrounded Reid with teddy bears and colourful items. She also had JJ bring some books down from Reid's apartment. JJ had wanted to stay but they needed her back at the BAU. She had sat with Reid for a few hours and it was time to see if he would eat something. The nurse brought some soup in. They didn't want to risk any solids till they knew the true extent of Reid's state.

"Reid, sweetie. It's time to have something to eat."

She carefully spooned the soup onto the spoon and brought it up. "Open up."

Reid opened his mouth and allowed Garcia to feed him the soup. She struggled to keep herself from getting upset as she fed him. He was like a baby except babies responded to human interaction. Reid just stared and swallowed. She finished feeding him and wiped his mouth. She imagined the old Reid hitting her hand away and asking her to stop fussing about him.

She put the bowl on the small bedside table and looked at him. She jumped as the door behind her opened. Morgan walked into the room and she calmed immediately. He looked upset.

"Morgan, what's wrong?"

"We got the results back from the blood samples. The samples of the blood he got covered in."

"Who's blood was it?"

Morgan looked at her with sad eyes. "The blood belonged to Diana Reid."

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I have to use these two words because they describe my reaction to all the reviews that this received. HOLY CRAP! Thank you so much for all the reviews and the great response to this fanfic. I woke up this morning and checked the reviews. I was completely in shock at the response. Thank you so much! For those who read Connection, it's got delayed by a day because after talking with my little nephilim partner on that fanfic, we are adding some new parts in and the new stuff requires stuff to get tweaked in other areas. I hope this is okay but I can tell you that the chapter will be bloody long. Like long, long!  
**

**Get ready for some evil stuff in this fanfic, this is me after all writing this.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, I love you all. I am still in awe of you all. You are the best people in the world. Just the best treasures in the world! Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia and Morgan stood outside of Reid's room. They both couldn't comprehend all that had happened since early that morning. "Are they sure, Morgan? Is it really her blood?"

"It's hers," Morgan confirmed. "We called Bennington and they told us that someone had come by with FBI credentials claiming to have been sent by Reid to get his mother so she would get placed in protective custody. He came by a few days ago. Baby girl, the amount of blood on him. I don't think she is alive."

"We don't know that," she said, clinging to the small ounce of hope that she had inside her.

"Penelope Garcia," he sighed. "As much as I wish it wasn't true, it is the most logical conclusion. We still don't know exactly what happened to him but my feeling is that he saw his mother die."

"But how?" she said. "He sees so much blood and horror every day. He watched Maeve die in front of him and he didn't become like this. What could he have seen to put him in this state? Morgan, I could barely keep myself together when I was feeding him. He was just staring ahead of him."

"Hotch sent me here to tell you and he wanted me to see if Reid would react or talk to us about it. We have no idea where the unsub is. We don't why he came after Reid or why he left him on my porch."

They walked back into the room and stood either side of the bed. Morgan had to take a deep breath as he saw Reid just staring at the wall. There wasn't any emotion or any sparkle in his friend's eyes. Morgan sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Reid's arm. There wasn't a single flinch or any movement under his hand. "Reid, it's Morgan, your best friend. I want you to know that you're in a safe place and no-one can hurt you here. It's just Garcia and me. Reid, I know something happened that made you like this, something horrible. We know it involved your mom. Reid, did the unsub kill your mom?"

Reid's eyes widened and his breathing began to get faster, he began to make small whimpering sounds.

Garcia took his shoulders. "Reid, it's Garcia. What is it?"

Reid let out a horrific scream that made Garcia remove her hands and stumble back.

"MOMMA! NO, MOMMA!" Reid screamed. He began to hit himself in the head viciously as he continued to scream. Morgan grabbed his wrists and pinned Reid to the bed. Garcia ran out to the door and called frantically for a nurse.

"Reid, it's okay! I'm here," Morgan said as he tried to get Reid to stop screaming. "No-one will hurt you here."

"NO! MOMMY! MOM, I'M SORRY. LEAVE HER ALONE," Reid sobbed and cried before letting out another horrific shriek. "I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY. MOMMA! MOMMY!"

Three nurses rushed into the room. Two of them took over from Morgan and pinned him to the bed. They took straps from underneath the bed and strapped him down to it as they quickly as they could. Morgan stepped back and took Garcia in his arms. He felt her cry and sob and they watched Reid scream and struggle against the nurses. One of the nurses produced a small syringe and placed it into the flesh of Reid's hip. Reid's struggles ceased almost immediately, he let out a small moan before he closed his eyes and relaxed into the bed.

"Oh, sweet jesus!" Garcia cried. "Why did he scream like that? That was so horrible. His scream was inhuman."

"What the hell happened?" One of the nurses demanded.

* * *

Morgan walked into the BAU headquarters an hour later. He felt like a zombie as he walked into the BAU room where the rest of the team was working. Blake saw him first. "Morgan, are you okay?"

He didn't speak, he simply shook his head and sat down in the nearest chair.

"Morgan, is Reid okay? What happened at the hospital?" Hotch requested gently.

"Um," Morgan said before taking a deep breath and speaking again. "I spoke to him gently. I told him he was in a safe place and that I was there. Nothing was going to happen to him as long I was there. I told him that I knew he was like the way he was because something must have happened to his mother. I asked if the unsub killed his mom. Oh god! You should have heard him scream. He just started screaming and shouting. He kept shouting momma or mommy. It was like he was reliving the memory of what happened to him. He was yelling for someone to leave her alone. He just kept calling for his momma. They restrained him to the bed and sedated him. Garcia is there, looking after him. She is still shaken up after witnessing him screaming."

"JJ, go to the hospital and help Garcia," Hotch ordered.

"You need me here," she said.

"Garcia needs someone there with her, to help her deal with this and to look after Reid," Hotch said. "JJ, go and see if you can get through to Reid. Call us if anything happens."

* * *

_Red. Red. Red. So much red. All over him! She's screaming! He can hear her. Have to close my eyes and hide. Can't let him see me again. Can't watch her die again. Mommy, I want Mommy!_

_Laughter in his ear. Who was laughing at him?_

_Don't dig there. Don't let them see, don't let anyone see. I can't see her again. Not the bloody red. Blood on his hands, in his hair, in his mouth_  
_and up his nose. Someone else screaming too._

**_SHUT UP AND RUN. RUN FROM THE MEMORIES._**

_Go to the safe place. Mommy and me at the park. Mommy is there. She's safe and I'm at the park with her. Mommy is safe as long as I stay here._

* * *

JJ walked into the hospital room and saw Garcia crying in the chair. She pulled up another chair and sat in front of her. They didn't need to say anything. JJ wrapped her arms around Garcia and held her as she cried.

"Y-You should h-have heard him," she cried gently to JJ. "God, what happened to him? We need to find out and get him back. I want Reid back, my baby Reid."

JJ sat there for over ten minutes comforting Garcia. A small knock came at the door. They came away from the hug as a young nurse walked into the room. "A package just arrived at the desk. It's addressed to your team."

JJ told Garcia to stay in the room and walked out into the hall. She looked at the package before checking the packaging. She listened for any signs it was a bomb but couldn't find anything. There was a slight smell coming from it that made her nose wrinkle. She cut the tape and lifted up the flaps. She stumbled away from the box and felt vomit rise in her throat. She saw a bin nearby and emptied her stomach into it. She rushed back to the box and closed it up again. She couldn't see that again.

She took a deep shaky breath in and tried to get past the mental block the horror she had just seen had caused.

"Are you okay? What is it?!" the nurse said as she put a hand on JJ's back. "Miss, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not," she said. "Call Aaron Hotchner, you have his number in Spencer's medical contacts. Tell him to come here. Please, just do it."

The nurse nodded and rushed to the phone.

"Oh god, Spence. I'm so sorry," she whispered. "So sorry."

* * *

Hotch and the rest of the team were in the room, a forensic team member was also with them. They had rushed to the hospital after a panicked call from a nurse on JJ's behalf. The forensic member opened the box. They all wanted to drop their stomachs as looked into the box.

Laying in the box was the severed of William Reid, Spencer's father. In blood, on his forehead, were two small words.

_'I'm coming.'_

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, here is the chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I have no witty comments tonight as feeling very sick but I hate not updating so here you go. Enjoy and I am so happy you all like this fanfic. Sorry for it being a bit short.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you are wonderful and I just want to dance all night with you. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia got sent home but JJ didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone. She had taken her back to her house where they both had some time to get some sleep. Morgan sat on the edge of the bed, which he had raised so Reid could eat. Reid was still restrained to the bed, the doctor feared that he would harm himself if he had another episode. Morgan took the bowl in one hand and spooned some porridge on the spoon. He put it to Reid's lips. "Open up, kid."

He opened his mouth and let Morgan feed him the porridge. Morgan watched to make sure that Reid swallowed it properly. He understood what Garcia had meant by struggling to stay calm when feeding him. The Reid he knew wasn't the man in the bed. He let out a shaky breath as he fed his friend a second spoonful of food. He had a few things to do after feeding him, things he never imagined himself doing. The entire team was still in a state of shock after seeing William Reid's head in a box. The message in blood on his forehead, causing fear to pierce their hearts. Someone had to stay with Reid. The unsub was still out there and he wanted Reid. Even after everything the unsub had done to the man, he wanted to do more. He fed him another spoonful.

"Reid, I'm going to find this guy and I'm going to make him pay. I don't know what he did to your parents but I know he hurt them. I know you will never see them again. I'm so sorry, Reid. What did he do to you?"

Morgan finished feeding Reid and put the bowl to the side.

He took a comb and brushed Reid's hair. The nurses told him that Reid had to stay clean. He knew that the nurses couldn't give that level of care, not with how busy they were. He finished with the brush and took out a toothbrush and toothpaste. He walked over to the sink and put the paste on the toothbrush before soaking it. He filled a glass and grabbed a disposable bowl. He hesitated for a moment before he opened Reid's mouth and began to brush his teeth. It was the lifeless stare from Reid that caused Morgan the most pain. He also knew that the image of Reid, covered in blood with his eyes and mouth sewn shut, would haunt him for the rest of his life. Morgan put the bowl under Reid's mouth and bent his head slightly. He put some water in his mouth and watched as Reid spat it out. He continued to brush Reid's teeth and was thankful when he finished. Grabbing a tissue, he wiped Reid's mouth and threw the tissue in the bin. He left the body wash for a nurse. He just couldn't do that to Reid. It was too personal. He did wash Reid's face though.

He couldn't believe he had to do this. It was strange. He didn't mind doing it, it was his duty as Reid's best friend and protector.

He picked up a book that Garcia had asked JJ to bring by. The book he picked up was The Narrative of John Smith. He held it in front of Reid. "Hey, kid. Do you remember this? Maeve gave it to you. I'm going to read it to you. We need you back and I hope you can come out of this. We don't want to lose you forever. We'll help you. I promise you, you will have all the help in the world. Just come back to us."

* * *

_Mommy is at the park and I am small again. She smiles because she is having a good day._

_I'm laughing because I'm happy. _

_No! Wait! The sky is turning red. It's raining. It was sunny before, why is it raining? _

_Red drops hit my skin. Red. Red. Red. Blood. All in my hair, in my nose, in my mouth and on my skin. Mommy covered too. _

_Her stomach isn't there!_

**_RUN! GO TO SOMEWHERE SAFER! DON'T WATCH THIS! JUST RUN!_**

**_FIND MUMMY! FIND DADDY!_**

_I'm grown again. I can't move, I can't move. Where is my mom? _

_**'Don't hurt my son, please.'** Wait that's daddy's voice!_

**_NO!_**

**_STOP THE MEMORIES AND JUST RUN. GO SOMEWHERE SAFE. GO TO THE GIRL WITH THE PRETTY COLOURS._**

_I'm with my friend, the girl with the pretty colours. She's helping me visit mom. Mom is fine here. Have to stay here. Daddy doesn't live here to help but daddy is safe too._

Morgan looked to the bed as Reid let out a small noise.

"Reid?"

He froze as Reid said six words, barely in a whisper. "The girl with the pretty colours."

Reid closed his eyes, leaving Morgan speechless.

* * *

"Did forensics come back with anything on the head?" Hotch asked as he walked into the BAU room.

"No," Blake said. "No foreign DNA. In fact, the head was clean of all evidence. I can't believe this is happening. He's lost both his parents and we can be damn sure that he saw them die. This unsub is a sadistic bastard."

"I second that thought," Rossi said angrily.

"I'm getting pissed off," Hotch said slamming a file on the desk. "We have nothing from the hospital, it was a company that delivered the letter. No trace on who sent it. I have no leads. Two missing dead people, both the parents of one of my best agents. We have no idea who this unsub is? Or why he is after Reid? I'm not taking another case until we have this man in custody. Blake, Rossi. I want you to go to Morgan's neighbourhood and talk to the neighbours. It's a long shot but we need something."

They both nodded and made their way out of the door. Ten minutes later, Anderson knocked on the door. "Agent Hotchner, there is a package here for you."

Hotch made his way out of the door and into his office where the package lay on his desk. He picked up the package and checked it. He ripped off the packaging to find a small wooden box. He slid open the box and found a small corked glass bottle, no bigger than his palm inside, filled with blood. He used a pair of tweezers from his desk to lift the small note inside out. He brought it up and read the note.

_YOU CAN STILL SAVE THIS ONE_

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, here is the chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for this being a bit short but I'm still feeling off. I will do a nice long chapter tomorrow as hopefully these pills kick in and get rid of my nausea. I'm happy you like the last chapter and get ready for a shock in this one. I do hope you like the twist.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you are the best and I high-five you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch found himself outside of Reid's hospital room. He had passed the blood to the forensic team for analysis. He hoped they could find who the blood belonged to. He didn't want to open the door because deep down, it scared him to know that Reid was practically catatonic on the other side of it. He grabbed the door knob and opened it. He walked in and found Reid sleeping while Morgan watched television next to him.

"How is he doing?" Hotch asked as he stepped to the bed.

"He spoke earlier. One a few words. He said _'the girl with the pretty colours'_ and then he went to sleep. He's gone through a traumatic event and I think his mind is protecting him. Maybe a little of him slipped through."

"Let's hope more of him slips through so we get him back," Hotch said. "It's so difficult seeing him like this. He's usually so independent."

"I know what you mean," Morgan sighed. "I had to brush his teeth, comb his hair and feed him."

A knock came at the door making them to look to it. They saw Garcia standing there in a fresh set of clothes and a slighty refreshed look on her face. "I couldn't stay away too long. I just couldn't."

She walked to the bed and gave Reid a kiss on his forehead. "Hey sweetie, it's Garcia. I'm back."

"The unsub contacted me again. It looks like has a third victim that is still alive. He sent a small bottle of blood with a note. It said _'you can still save this one'_. I sent it off to the forensic lab and I'm waiting for the results. Rossi and Blake are interviewing your neighbours. I want to know if any of them saw Reid get dropped off."

Garcia gasped as Reid tightly grabbed her wrist and stared at her. Morgan and Hotch both looked too. "Reid, it's Garcia. Can you hear me? You are safe now. Stay with us."

"Don't let him see me," Reid said in panicked voice. "Blood in my eyes and on my skin. Girl with the pretty colours will protect me. Protect me. Protect me from all the red. Have to hide now. Can't let him see me."

Reid's body relaxed and the glassy stare that scared them came back. He looked at the ceiling again.

"No, Reid. Come back," Garcia called. "Please come back."

"Garcia is the girl with the pretty colours," Morgan realised. "He thinks that you will protect him from the trauma he went through."

"What?" she said in confusion. "I don't carry a guy or have any kind of training to protect him. Why would he think that?"

"The rest of us might scare him because we do. I think you symbolise innocence to him and he is using you protect himself from what he saw. He's hiding so deep in his mind he has regressed into this state."

Garcia stroked her hand through his hair and kissed his forehead. "I'll protect you. I'm going to help you come back to us, baby boy. You need to come back so you can see Henry and tell him bad jokes and stories. You can sit with me and I can fix your knitting when it goes wrong. I know something bad happened to your mom and dad but I want you to know you still have a family here. We're still here and we'll catch this son of a bitch."

* * *

He smiled as he looked inside the deep hole that was once a well. His third victim was still asleep. It had taken effort to get her but it had been worth it. He had spent a large amount of money to get Spencer's friend but it was the only way he could show them. The Reid family wasn't innocent, especially the prodigal son of William Reid. He smiled as he remembered the screams of his Spencer. He loved them. The stupid bitch below had delayed all his plans but when she had come, he had got her.

"Sleep while you can," he said gently.

* * *

**NO! DON'T LET IT SLIP THROUGH! KEEP IT BACK! JUST KEEP IT BACK!**

_**"Mom, it'll be okay," he tried to assure his mother. He looked to the man.**_

**NO!**

**_"Don't do it," he begged, tugging on the restraints that held him against the wall. "Please, don't do this! Please!"_**

**CAN'T SEE THIS! DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS! GO BACK TO THE GIRL WITH THE PRETTY COLOURS!**

**_He watched as the man climbed the ladder and grabbed her hair._**

**_"Please, please, please!" he begged with tears coming down his eyes. "Please, I'll do anything. Hurt me, kill me, I don't care. Just please let her go! I'll do anything to save her."_**

**_He places a knife to her throat. That sinister smile._**

**NO!**

She is smiling at me as I sit in the library. I am small again but she is still big. My protector. She'll protect mummy and me. Wonderful colours.

**STAY HERE AND DON'T COME OUT!**

* * *

Garcia finished making the room more comfortable for Reid. She had filled it with colourful things if he woke up again. There was a guard posted outside the door and that made her feel safer. She had changed Reid into some other clothes, his own pyjamas. She had brought a lot of things with her when she had come back. A large blanket covered him that she called her 'get well blanket'.

She looked at him while holding his hand.

"I know that you don't want to talk about it but you have to. I'm going to talk to you and try make you realise that you are safe here. When you wake up, you can get better. We can find your mom and dad and put them to rest properly. I know that you want to protect people. That is what you do. You protect people, even if it means putting yourself in danger. The man who hurt your mother and father has someone else. They are going to die unless we can get a solid lead on finding this guy."

Reid continued to stare in front of him.

* * *

Hotch shook his head as he looked at the piece of paper. Blake and Rossi walked back into the room and saw his face. "What is it?" Blake asked. "Is it about that blood sample you called us about?"

"I got the results back," Hotch said shakily. "The blood belongs to Emily."

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy it. I'm so glad you like the twist at the end of the last chapter and I hope you like this chapter because I am very nervous about this chapter. Things begin to get interesting in this chapter and I promise that there are lots more goodies coming for you in the next few chapters. **

**M.s Reid - Your review made me burst out laughing. I just imagined an array of my readers holding up a shotgun and telling me to re think it. Thank you for making me laugh.**

**Thank you for all the reviews everyone, you are the most precious readers in the world to me and you keep me going. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia had to try to get through to him and she only a few options left. The rest of the team was at the BAU, exhausting every method they had to find the unsub. Emily was now part of this, she had disappeared and was in the hands of the same man who had killed Reid's parents. They had called Clyde Easter and found out that Emily and a team were in the US trying to capture a suspect that had fled to the US. He had tried to contact her and find her for the last twenty-four hours. They needed Reid to wake up. He was the only one that could help them. She placed the blanket over him and laid next to him. She brought the blanket over their heads and turned on a small multicoloured light beneath it.

_Please, we need you,_ she thought as she looked at Reid.

"Spencer Reid, it's the girl with the pretty colours. That is all you're surrounded by. Pretty colours. I'm here," she said gently before holding his hand. "It's Garcia. Spencer, I know he killed your mother and father and I know it must have been horrific to watch them die. I don't know what he did to you but I'll help you get through it. He has Emily, he has our Emily and he is going to kill her unless we find him. You are the biggest link we have and we need you. I know you don't want to face the pain or the horror of what you saw. I know you don't but you need to. I want you to hear my voice, I want you to follow it. You need to come out of this and face it. Being this way isn't healthy and it won't help catch the man who hurt your mom and dad."

She took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Follow my voice and come out of this. You may think it is safe in there but it isn't. You're hiding from what happened. Wake up and help us catch him. Help us get this son of a bitch. I know that Emily means the world to you, she means everything to all of us. Come back to us."

* * *

_He was young again and happy as he read the book with his mother. His happiness turned to something horrible, something dark inside of him. He looked up to see the woman with the pretty colours sadly smiling at him. She didn't move her lips but he heard her voice, almost like an echo._

**_'You're running away from what really happened. You have to wake up.'_**

**NO! I CAN'T WATCH IT. I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN.**

_**'You need to help us get him so we can get justice.'**_

**DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE! MOMMA'S DEAD. DADDY'S DEAD. ALL THE BLOOD, IN MY HAIR AND IN MY EYES. COULDN'T STOP IT. **

_**'You need to help us get back Emily. The unsub has her and he'll kill her if we don't find him.'**_

**EMILY! NO! NOT ANOTHER ONE. I CAN'T LET HIM KILL HER. NO MORE RED. CAN'T SEE ANYMORE RED.**

**'We have to save her. We need you. Come back to us.'**

_I am Spencer Reid and I have to save her._

* * *

Garcia kept talking when she heard his voice. "G-Garcia," he sobbed.

Ripping the blanket off of them, she sat up to see tears streaming down his face. "Reid, are you there?"

"He killed them," he cried as he scrambled to sit up. He began hyperventilating. "Oh god! He killed them and I couldn't stop it. There was so much blood."

Garcia wrapped her motherly arms around him and held him close. His entire body was shaking violently. She felt his tears soak her shirt but she didn't care. She was just happy he was awake. She just needed to keep him this way. He came away and gripped her upper arms.

"Where is Emily?" he cried, not able to stop.

"The unsub has her, he sent us a vial of her blood and Clyde Easter confirmed her disappearance."

"You can't let her die. Not like mom and dad. Please god, no!"

"Reid, who is he?" she urged. She didn't know if he was going to stay like this.

"Kevin Michaels," Reid said quickly. "He-He wanted revenge of my mom and dad. He said he was Gary Michael's son. He made me watch them die. He-he made me-."

Reid couldn't finish the sentence as he broke down in tears again.

Garcia's eyes widened as she listened to Reid. Even more shocked at the identity of the unsub.

Reid closed his eyes and couldn't stop the memories from coming forward.

* * *

_He co-operated with the man who had the gun to his back. He had barely taken a few steps into his apartment when an arm had wrapped around his neck and a gun poked in his back. _

_"Hello, Spencer. It's so nice to meet you. You're going to do exactly what I say."_

_"What do you want?" Reid said calmly. _

_"I want you and your stupid fucking family to pay. You are going to come with me and you will not try anything. You wouldn't want anything to happen to your dear old mother and father."_

_All thoughts of fighting back disappeared in his head. "My father is in Vegas and my mother is in Bennington. There is no way you could have her."_

_"It's interesting how easy it was to use a fake FBI badge to get your mother. Your father just needed a good smack around the head. Are you going to come without a fight? Or are you going to make this hard?"_

_"Okay, okay," Reid nodded. "I'll come with you."_

* * *

_Reid complied with the man as he got led into a warehouse. He'd been blindfolded on the way here. He had smelled the forest around them and tried to keep track of all the turns they had taken. The blindfold was off now and he could see. The man pushed him through the door. He stopped dead when he saw his mother and father, each tied to a chair. He went to run to them when a hand grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled him back. The gun was back under his chin and he got pulled to a nearby chain with two padded cuffs at the end. Shoved to the ground, he barely had time to register his arms being forced behind him and put in the padded cuffs. He saw his mother crying and pulled on the short chain._

_"Please, just let them go. If I did something to you in my past, then take it out on me. Just let them go. She's ill and she's scared. Please."_

_The man laughed loudly. Reid met his father's eyes and saw the panic there. There was also a stream of blood down his forehead. _

_"This is about all of you!" the man screamed. "You killed my father. You helped that man find him!"_

_"What are you talking about?!" Reid shouted._

_"I'm sorry, let me introduce myself. I'm Kevin Michaels, son of Gary Michaels, and tonight you are all going to pay."_

* * *

Reid snapped out of the memory as he felt hands touch him, unknown hands. He looked up to see a doctor looking down at him.

* * *

Hotch, Morgan and the rest of the team walked into the room. Clyde Easter was also with them. They walked in to find Spencer in Garcia's arms, he had small teddy bear in his hands. He looked almost like a child.

"Hey, kid," Morgan smiled gently. "Nice to have you back."

"He has Emily," Reid said quietly. "You have to get her back. He's using her to hurt me. How did you find me?"

"We didn't," Hotch said. "You were left on Morgan's porch swing, covered in blood with your eyes and mouth sewn shut. Don't you remember?"

Reid shook his head.

"Reid, how did you get covered in the blood. It completely covered your body," Rossi asked.

Reid shrank further against Garcia and began to shake. "Mom's blood."

"Spence, I'm so sorry. Your mother was a great woman," JJ said.

"You don't understand," Reid shook his head. "Y-You have to get Emily back or he'll kill her the same way. I can't watch that again. Never ever, never ever, never ever."

"Kill in what way?" Clyde demanded, earning him a look from the team.

"It's okay," Garcia soothed. "You're safe here. He can't hurt you here."

Reid began to cry and he remembered. "H-H-He hung her upside down over a large bucket. I-I pleaded and pleaded, I cried and cried. He cut her throat and drained her body of a-all the blood. I had to watch. I screamed and I screamed but he wouldn't save her. He killed her."

Garcia wiped away her own tears as she tried to stay strong.

They all watched as he struggled to continue.

**Please review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm so happy you like how Garcia brought him out of the catatonic state. I was a bit worried that it mind be a bit of a corny weird idea. Yes, he is out. Doesn't mean he is safe though. Prepare some horrific stuff in this chapter.  
**

**I'm also going to admit this. I'm not too enthusiastic about season 9 so far personally. It's missing an element that's been missing from it since season 4.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews. You are just brilliant and you're so great. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"It's okay," Garcia said as she put her hand over his hand. "We need to know this. Remember, we have to save Emily."

Reid snuggled closer to Garcia and gripped the bear tighter. He let out another sob. "A-After he killed mom. It took so long to drain her blood and her eyes never closed. They just stared at me. Dead and lifeless. I couldn't stop crying. I just c-collapsed and knew that I had failed her. A-After he finished, he cut the rope and s-she just hit the ground. My dad screamed at him but K-Kevin didn't listen. He-He c-cut off her head."

Reid closed his eyes and squeezed them shut as the tears went down his cheeks. The rest of the team struggled with holding back their own tears as they listened to Reid.

"H-He cut of her head and f-fed it to his dogs. They tore it apart!" Reid shouted.

"Shhhh..." Garcia soothed as she stroked his hair.

"I closed my eyes after a few seconds. I couldn't watch! I couldn't watch! H-He untied my dad and held him at gunpoint. He made my dad come over to me with a needle and thread. He told my dad to sew my mouth shut. My dad said no and Kevin shot just above my head. He gave my dad no choice. Kevin forced me to lay down and made my dad sew my mouth shut. It hurt," he whimpered before touching his mouth.

"Oh god," JJ whispered to herself although some of the others heard her. Blake took JJ's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"What happened next?" Hotch gently urged.

"My dad finished and I couldn't talk anymore. He dragged my dad away and threw him to the ground. He began to beat him with a bat. My dad couldn't fight back. There was blood everywhere after he finished. I had tried to getting out of the p-padded cuffs but I couldn't get out of them. My pleas for him didn't escape my mouth. My dad begged him to let me go. He didn't want me to die and he asked him not to hurt me. Kevin just laughed at him. H-He kicked my dad again and I heard something break. He left us alone for a little while. I just couldn't stop crying because I knew what was going to happen. I t-thought we were both going to die. I couldn't talk to my d-dad but he kept trying to tell me it would all be okay and that I had to stay strong. Kevin came back and grabbed the machete he used to cut mom's head off. He forced my dad's head to the ground w-with his foot."

Reid sniffed and let Garcia wiped tears from his cheeks.

"He told me t-that if I c-could say please, he'd spare him. I tried to say it but the thread wouldn't let me. It was all muffled. Dad knew what was going to happen," Reid said before his breathing hitched. "He said that he loved me. Kevin cut off his head. I screamed behind the thread and I-I think that was w-when I started t-to lose it. I j-just focused on my dad's head. I d-didn't notice him bring the bucket of blood over. He filled a jug and grabbed my hair. He whispered that I knew how it felt to lose my family. I tried to get move my head away but he- oh god! He poured it everywhere. It was in my hair, in my eyes and a little seeped in my mouth. So much blood, so much blood! It's momma's blood."

"That's enough!" Garcia said to the rest of the team. "You're going to send him back to how he was. We just got him back. No more till he is ready!"

"We only need one more thing," Hotch said, feeling guilty for having to push Reid to talk. "How much does it remember after that?"

"I don't remember anything a-after that. I don't, I swear. I don't remember him sewing my eyes shut or being left at Morgan's house," Reid said quickly before turning to Garcia. "I want to stop. I don't want to talk about it. Don't make me."

Garcia nodded and gave him a smile. "It's okay. You don't have to talk about it anymore. You did really good."

Reid left her arms and laid on the bed, keeping a tight grip on the bear. He curled in on himself and continued to cry. Garcia closed her eyes and put her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe what he had gone through. It was too much for a person to witness. He had watched his mother get slaughtered like an animal while his father's last words to him had been 'I love you'. She opened her eyes and took her hand away from her mouth. She looked up at the team. "You have what you need. You have enough to help find Emily. Don't make him go through anymore."

Hotch nodded. "Are you okay taking care of him?"

"You find Emily," Garcia nodded. "I'll look after him. I can't leave him alone. Not after what he has gone through."

The team didn't say goodbye to Reid. They had no words to say to him that would help and they didn't know what to say after what they had just heard. Garcia closed the door behind them and made her way to the bed. She laid behind Reid on her side and wrapped her arms around him. She held him close as he sobbed silently to himself.

* * *

"I feel sick," Blake breathed.

"That isn't the same Spencer Reid I remember," Clyde Easter said.

"He wouldn't be after what he just saw!" JJ snapped. "No wonder he retreated into his own mind. We have to get Emily back. Kevin Michaels isn't afraid to kill as long as it fits with his goals. He already declared he is coming back for Spencer. He wants us to play his game and distract us. Emily is that distraction."

"He'll use her to get to Reid," Morgan agreed.

* * *

Emily woke up, her head felt like hell. She clenched her hand into a fist to try to channel the pain from her head. Her vision was blurry. She closed her eyes and opened them again to clear her vision. She looked up and realised she was in an old dried out well.

"Hello!" she shouted up. She jumped as a man appeared. "Who are you?"

"Hello, Miss Prentiss. How sad you're still a Miss. Never a Mrs."

"Why am I here?!" she snapped back. "You kidnapped me, you son of a bitch!"

"You're here to bring Reid back to me. He went all catatonic on me after I murdered him parents in front of him. He cried and cried as I slit Diana's throat. Cried again when I cut daddy's head off. I wanted his team to see what I could do. They helped turn my dad into a monster. Everyone knew about him once I found out where he was. Gary Michaels ring any bells to you."

"You're father was a monster," she shouted back. "He raped and killed a six year old boy. He was going after Spencer next."

"Spencer's parents helped murder him. They killed him and I'll ruin Spencer's family before I kill that little shit!"

"His team won't let you. I won't let you."

"You have your problems to worry about," Kevin smirked at her. He disappeared from her sight. She heard a rumble from the well. A blast of water came through a pipe in the wall and began to fill the well. She gasped at the ice-cold water as it soaked her.

**Please review**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy it. I am in super evil bitch mode tonight so I think you will all hate me for what I've done in this chapter. It just sparked in my head. Or it got caused when I smacked my head on my stairs when I bent down to pick up my usually annoying but cute kitten. I hope you like it and I would love to know what you think.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews everyone, you are very important to me and I value each and every review. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch walked into Garcia's office to find Kevin at the computers. "What do you have on Kevin Michaels?"

"Just basic things really," Kevin Lynch said as typed at the computer. He moved to another keyboard and typed in a few keys. "He closed all his accounts two months ago after withdrawing all the cash from them. He doesn't have much of a digital trace. He's been off grid since clearing his accounts. I can't trace any cellphone because he doesn't have one registered. If he calls, I could probably track it. Gary Michaels isn't registered on the birth certificate, the father put as unknown. Kevin Michaels was born a few years before Spencer."

"Wait, can you tap into the cctv of Reid's building? If we can get a clear shot of the car he used to transport Reid, we could put an APB out on it."

"Give me a minute," Kevin said as he typed away. Hotch waited and couldn't help but think that Garcia would do this faster. She was needed at the hospital though. Reid was going to need a lot of support and therapy to get over what he had gone through. Diana may not have been able to take care of him properly when her illness overcame her but he knew that woman had loved her son more than anything in the world. He hated that she had died in such a horrific way. They couldn't even give her a proper burial. He doubted there was much of her head left and he didn't know if Michaels had destroyed or hidden the bodies of Diana and William Reid.

"I'm in," Kevin said. "I've pulled up footage from the night Spencer got taken."

Reid watched as Kevin put each camera feed up on different screens. He watched on the top screen as Gary Michaels led Reid down the stairs, the small glint of a gun being caught. Hotch didn't doubt that the son of a bitch had used Reid's parents to control him. Kevin caught a snap shot of the car that Reid got shoved into, not before being blindfolded. Kevin also caught a screen shot of the license plate.

"I don't get it," Kevin wondered. "He isn't hiding himself from the cameras. He must have known they are in the building, why didn't he shut them down?"

"I don't think he is too worried about getting caught. He's already got what he wanted. Even if everything else fails, he will still find solace in the fact he has traumatized Reid for the rest of his life."

"Is Spencer okay?" Kevin asked.

"Physically, he'll be fine but mentally, it will take a long time for him to get back to normal."

* * *

The water stopped around Emily and stopped just below the pipe it had come out of. She had to hold the pipe to stay above the water level. Michaels appeared from above the well and smiled down. "How's the water, Emily?"

"S-Screw y-you," Emily said as her teeth chattered.

"Maybe later," he laughed. "I'm giving your team the chance to find me. I've left them plenty of clues. It's not my fault that they are so idiotic. I guess that was why they hired dear old Spencer. Do you think they will trade you for him?"

"N-N-Never."

"No, but I'll give you back eventually and when I do, Spencer will be for the taking."

"H-He'll b-be protected-d," she said back.

"Diana was in a secure facility. I just walked in and plucked her from her chair. Even waved to the nurses as I left. I have things to do, Emily. If everything goes well, I should have Spencer by this evening."

He disappeared from her view. "Y-You leave h-h-him alone!" she shouted.

* * *

**Later**

Garcia helped Reid get changed before sitting him back on the hospital bed. He held onto the teddy bear tightly, refusing to let go. She knew it was like an anchor keeping him to reality. He looked so lost.

"Reid, I'm sorry that you had to watch him hurt your parents. Your mother was a beautiful and smart woman. Your dad was nice too."

"S-She wasn't supposed to die like this. I wanted h-her to die naturally and peacefully. She didn't stop crying and she was so scared. I don't think she was completely herself. Why didn't he stop?"

"He's a disgusting, evil bastard who is will pay for what he did to you and your parents. You need to eat something, sweetie."

"I don't feel hungry," Reid said quietly.

"Please, eat something for me. You need to keep your strength up. It's chicken soup. If you eat this, the doctor will move you to solids."

"O-Okay," he nodded.

* * *

Hotch and the rest of the team rushed out of the BAU building, they had received a call that Emily had been found dumped on the side of the road, drugged but still alive. They got into the SUV's and raced to get her.

* * *

Garcia walked out of the hospital room, nodded to the guard and went around the corner to get the soup. The ward practically empty due to the nurses being drafted to the ER to help. She walked around a small corner. "Hello, Penelope."

She turned around only to feel a sharp pain rip through her stomach. She looked up into the eyes of Kevin Micheals before looking down to see the knife in her stomach. He pushed it in further and leaned down to her ear. "I'll break him."

He ripped the knife out of her stomach. She felt to the ground and put her hand to her stomach. Her vision blurred as she watched him go around the corner towards Reid's room.

* * *

Reid laid in the bed, waiting for Garcia to come back. The door opened. He felt his blood freeze in his veins as he saw Michaels looking at him. A bloody knife in his hands. "No!" he whispered in fear.

"Hello, Spencer," he smiled before bring the blade up. "Look at all the pretty blood. Time to come back and play."

* * *

Hotch pulled the SUV over quickly and raced with the others over to Emily. "Emily, it's Hotch. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"R-Reid," she slurred. "D-D-istraction. A-After R-Reid. H-Hospital."

* * *

Garcia heard Reid scream from the room but couldn't move. She saw out of the corner of her eye, a wheelchair go past. Sadistic laughter with it. She didn't know why she was shivering. Was it the cold coming over her or the fear?

"Oh my god!" a voice called from behind her thirty seconds later. An alarm blared and hands began to turn her on her back. She let out a small scream as the female nurse pressed on the stab wound.

"R-Reid," Garcia panicked as things began to go black. "H-He g-got R-Reid."

* * *

Reid curled up in the trunk of the car. He had regained consciousness to find himself in a red-lit trunk. The teddy bear was still in his arms. He wasn't sure why Michaels had kept it. He hugged it. His team would come, they had to.

**Please review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone, here is the chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know I was so mean in the last chapter. I had to do it though. I was like how is everyone going to react and you reacted how I thought you would. The hunt is on for the mother- you know what. Enjoy this chapter my wonderful angels.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're absolutely splendid and freaking awesome. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan stormed into the hospital with Rossi and Hotch. JJ and Blake were looking after Emily who was still in the ER. They rushed to the ward to find blood outside of Reid's room. The nurse that had treated Reid since his arrival rushed to meet them.

"Where is he?" Hotch demanded. "Where is Spencer?"

"He's gone," she said, her scrubs covered with some blood. "We don't know who took him."

"Where is Garcia? Why didn't the guard stop the bastard?" Rossi said angrily.

"The guard is dead," she said quickly. "He received multiple stab wounds and bled out. We couldn't save him. Miss Garcia got rushed to surgery."

"Surgery!" Morgan shouted. "Is she okay?"

"She got stabbed in her stomach, it was deep. I don't know how long she was there. I found her around the corner neared the food area, there was a puddle of blood. She said about Spencer, that someone had taken him. We managed to stem the bleeding but she is in surgery at the moment. There is a small mount of blood in the hospital room. We haven't gone in there."

Morgan stepped back and felt sick. He couldn't talk, he walked past the nurse and around the corner. He stopped when he saw a small pool of blood that was now cornered off with tape. He knew the blood belonged to Garcia.

Hotch and Rossi both struggled to keep themselves from letting out the anger they were feeling. Reid was missing and in the hands of the bastard that had forced him to watch his parents die. They had no idea of knowing what was going to happen to Reid and if he was even still alive. Garcia was holding on to her life after being stabbed. Hotch hated thinking about how scared she must have been.

* * *

Reid rubbed the back of his head and found a small amount of blood there. The car was still moving. He had never felt so scared in his life. All his training as an agent just didn't seem to come to his mind. He didn't want to die like his mom and dad. He didn't want to see anymore blood. He wanted to go back and stay with Garcia. She kept him safe.

The car stopped and he listened as Michaels left the car. The trunk opened to show him. Michaels grabbed him and shoved him out of the trunk to the dirt ground. Reid held to the bear. Garcia had given it to him and he needed it.

"Look at you," Micheals sneered. "You are pathetic. Clutching a bear, you're a grown man. Did she give it to you? That Garcia bitch."

"Shut up!"

"You know, she probably isn't even alive."

Reid looked at him and shook his head. "No! She's fine! She just went to get food."

"I know and I shoved a knife in her gut. I give her credit, she didn't scream. She was left speechless and just fell to the floor. I wheeled you right past her. That is another person dead thanks to you."

Reid screamed and tried to charge at the man. A strong hand grabbed the back of his neck and slammed him against the trunk while the other hand grabbed his arm and twisted is behind his back. The teddy bear had fallen to the ground. Reid whimpered as his arm got twisted further behind his back. "Stop it! You son of a bitch, you killed her."

"Yes, I did and soon, I'll kill you. I'm going to make sure you are a fucking shell before I beat you to death. Just like your dad's friend did to my father."

Reid slammed into ground. He reached out for the bear. He screamed in pain as Michaels slammed his foot down on his arm and broke it. A horrible searing pain travelled up Reid's arm. Strong arms gripped his ankles and dragged him away from the car. He managed to grab the leg of the bear with his uninjured hand. He couldn't move his arm, it hurt too much. Stones scratched his skin as he got pulled. He got pulled into the same warehouse where he had witnessed his mother and father die.

"I'm tired, I think I need to sleep. You can try to get some sleep too."

He grabbed Reid by the throat and made him to look to a hole in the floor. Reid tried to struggle against the man as saw a metal coffin in the hole. "Don't worry, Spencer. You won't suffocate, you have air going into it."

Reid cried out in pain as he got shoved into the metal coffin. The small bear fell into it as well. He grabbed it and held it. It was all he had left of Garcia.

"Sleep," Micheals smirked. "I'll even let you keep the bear, you pathetic prick."

The metal lid slammed shut and Micheals disappeared as it did.

Breathing quickly, Reid found himself surrounded by black darkness.

"NOOOOO!"

* * *

Morgan stood when he saw Garcia being wheeled into a room. He tried to get to her but got stopped by a nurse. "You can't go in there yet."

"Like hell I can't," he argued back. "I'm staying with her and I'm not leaving her."

He flashed his badge and went past her into the room. Dr Bates was standing next to the bed. "Is she okay?"

"You aren't supposed to be in here yet."

"Is she okay?" he said more sternly.

"She lost a lot of blood but she will make a full recovery. The stab wound was deep and we had to repair the damage. I'll allow you to stay with her while I tell the rest of your team. She won't wake up for a while due to what her body has gone through. When she does, try to keep her calm. She needs to rest and stay calm."

"I will," he nodded before sitting on the chair next to the bed. The nurses left him alone. He took Garcia's hand in his own and a tear rolled down his cheek. He leaned up and kissed her cheek.

"Hey, baby girl. It's Morgan. I'm here and I'm not leaving your side. We will get him back. We will get Reid back and make Michaels pay for what he did to him and to you. You're gonna be fine. I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you. I should have stayed."

* * *

Reid didn't know how long he had stayed in the coffin. He didn't know when the tears had stopped. He felt all the fear inside of him build up.

"HELP ME!" he screamed at the top of his voice. "SOMEBODY HELP ME! LET ME GO! MORGAN! HOTCH!"

He hit the lid with free hand but stopped when he realised it was hopeless.

He let out a sob. "Someone...help. I'm scared."

**Please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy it. I've been so evil in this chapter. I honestly think the little devil inside me broke out and took over my fingers while typing. I am nervous about this chapter and I would love to know what you think.  
**

**Okay, I seriously urge you all to check out silverwrym's fanfics. I love them and she is one my favourite authors. She always leaves me wanting more and she is a fellow Reid whumper. If you want some great fanfics to read, check out her fanfics. She's in my favourite authors and stories list if you want a link to her stories.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you are brilliant and I value every review. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid laid shivering in the metal coffin. It was so cold and he was only wearing his pyjamas. He faintly heard a dripping, he assumed he could hear it from the pipe delivering oxygen into the dark coffin. He knew that he should feel stronger but he struggled to bring up any strength or hope from inside him. He didn't want to face the world, let alone the deranged bastard that had kidnapped him. His mother and father were dead, killed in front of him while he couldn't do anything to stop it. He'd been covered by his mother's blood. It had invaded everywhere. He held the bear. It was his anchor, his anchor to life. It was the only thing he had left of Garcia. Fresh tears came down his cheeks. He remembered the blood on the knife when Kevin Michaels had walked into the room and smiled at him. He knew that Garcia's last moments were not peaceful, they were full of pain and fear. He didn't care if he died but he wanted Michaels to pay for hurting his parents and his best friend.

"I'm sorry, Garcia," he whispered.

* * *

Garcia's eyes fluttered open. She looked around the room sluggishly before her tired eyes settled on a sleeping Morgan. She reached out her hand and touched his arm. "Morgan," she moaned.

Morgan startled awake and focused on her. He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Hey, baby girl. I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she sighed. "Wait! Where's Reid? It was Michaels, he stabbed me."

"We know. He kidnapped Reid and used Emily to distract us. We have Emily. She's a little out of it from a drug but she is fine. We will get him back, I promise."

"I promised I would keep him safe and I failed," she said tearfully. "I only went to get him some soup. I turned around and there was so much pain. He said he would break Reid before leaving me there. I heard Reid scream. In the corner of my eye, I saw a wheelchair. He laughed as he went past me. We have to get Reid back, he's gone through too much already. He can't handle any torture, mentally or physically."

"Garcia, calm down. The doctor said you needed to stay calm."

"How can I stay calm when that bastard has Reid?" she shouted before her breath hitched. She winced and put her hand to her stomach.

"You have to trust the team," he said. "We won't rest till we have him back. I'll kill Michaels to make sure he won't ever hurt Reid again."

* * *

Reid began to breathe faster as he heard a clanging noise from above him. He didn't move as the lid to the metal coffin lifted to show Michaels. He screamed out in pain as his broken arm got grabbed. Another hand wrapped around his other wrist and pulled him out hole. He was too focused on the pain in his arm to register where he was getting taken to.

He grunted as he got thrown into a chair and strapped into it, leather straps being wrapped around his wrists and ankles. His arm was still raging with pain. He looked to the Michaels and saw him pick up a switch blade. He panicked as the man walked over and put the blade to his cheek.

"Please, don't," he pleaded.

Reid let out a small keen as the blade dragged across his cheek causing a deep cut, he felt blood down his cheek.

"No-one will like you for your looks anymore, pretty boy."

The blade got placed on his other cheek and dragged across it. "My family didn't hurt your dad. They never laid a finger on him. He was going to hurt me and he killed Riley. It isn't our fault."

"Your family covered up his murder. I know your father burned your mother's bloody clothes. You're the reason he is dead. You just had to tempt him."

"I-I was four," Reid breathed quickly. "He was a sick man who liked to hurt children. I didn't tempt him! Why are you defending him? Why aren't you disgusted by what he did?"

"HE WAS STILL MY DAD! You could have sent him to prison but no! Your parents and that other bastard killed him."

Reid screamed out again as the blade moved to his forehead and a deep line got cut. "Stop it! Get off me!"

"We are just getting started, pretty boy."

Reid tried to escaped the straps and cringed hearing Morgan's nickname for him coming out the man's mouth. He focused on the bear that was now on the floor near the coffin. He cried as the blade moved to his cheek again and another cut was applied.

* * *

Emily woke up, her body felt less heavy this time. She moaned gently as she turned from the side and sat up. She felt woozy but shook it away. A small hand came to her shoulder. JJ smiled at her.

"Hey, Emily. How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy, I'm fine though. I-Is Reid safe?"

"The unsub has him," JJ said carefully. "He got kidnapped from his room. Garcia got hurt too."

"What?!" Emily gasped. She tried to get out of the bed but JJ pushed her back into the bed. She rested against the pillows. "I-Is she okay?"

"He stabbed her once in the stomach but the nurse found her and she came out of surgery. She is recovering and awake."

"H-He used me as a distraction. He taunted you all by giving Reid back the first time. JJ, he's going to kill him. I caught a glimpse of a table. There were knives and tools all over the table. Everything blurs after that."

"Can you remember where he took you?"

Emily tried as hard as she could but her mind was putting up a wall of fog. "I-I can't, not at the moment. Things are still foggy. What did he give me?"

"A powerful sedative with some lasting side effects. The doctor said you would feel better the more rest you got."

"No, I-I can't rest. He has Reid. I have to help you find Reid," Emily shook her head. JJ pushed her back to the bed and put the blanket back over her.

"Emily, rest. You need rest if you want to help us find him."

* * *

Reid sat in the chair, blood covering his skin and mixed with salty tears. His arms covered in blood from cuts. He didn't want to imagine how his face looked after all the times that Michaels had carved into it. He felt woozy but tried to stay focused. The straps from his wrists and ankles got released. He fell to the floor after a rough nudge.

"No!" Reid pleaded as hands gripped around his waist and dragged him out of the room. He spat some blood that had seemed to seep into his mouth. His body thrown into a small cage and the door locked with him in it. He cradled his broken arm and tried to wipe blood from his eyes. Michaels smiled at him and left the room. There was a loud buzz before three clangs filled the room. He panicked as three dogs raced to the caged and started attacking the outside of it. They barked at him and tried to get at him. He tried to keep himself away from the edges as much as he could.

"They like the smell of blood," Michaels laughed from a balcony above him. "They loved the meat from your mother's head."

He held up the bear Garcia had given to Reid. He tipped some blood on it. Reid realised what he was going to do.

"No, please don't. I'm begging you. It's all I have left of her," Reid pleaded over the vicious barks and growls coming from the dogs.

Michaels chucked the teddy bear down and watched as the dogs ripped the bear apart.

"No," Reid cried quietly as he watched the stuffing of the bear fly everywhere. "No, no, no, no."

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	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy it. I've been so evil in this chapter. The evil I restrained in my other update tonight has gone into this. I loved writing this and I really hope you like it. Enjoy!  
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**Thank you for all the reviews, you are amazing and I cherish you all. I want to throw a big party and dance the night away with you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid cried and put his knees to his chest. He put his head down and tried to keep himself away from the edges as the dogs continued to hit against it and bark at him. They looked like they had eaten nothing since his mother. He shuddered at the thought. Some of his cuts had stopped bleeding but some still bled slightly. His arm still hurt and he could barely move it. Any time that he did, pain ripped through it. He didn't know how long he sat there for. He looked down and felt shame run through him. He couldn't hold it anymore. He wet himself and let out a sob as he did. He looked up and saw the bear's eye with some stuffing around it. The dogs whined and retreated from the cage causing Reid confusion. They ran back through the doors they had come from, the doors promptly slid down and closed. Micheals came in and grabbed a nearby hose pipe.

"You disgust me," Michaels said as he spat at him. He turned on the hose pipe and hit Reid with ice-cold water. Reid gasped as the water hit him and tried to huddle away from it. It washed away the fresh blood but most of the dried blood stayed put. The water stopped and the cage opened. Reid kicked out as Michaels tried to grab him. He landed one in his stomach causing the man to stumble back. Reid felt a surge of adrenaline and scrambled out of the cage. He held his broken arm to his chest as he ran as fast as he could. He made it out of the room and outside where he saw a well. His entire body hurt and he knew the only thing keeping him up was the adrenaline.

He shrieked in pain as he got tackled to the ground, his arm smashing into the ground with force. He panicked at the weight pinning him to the floor. He was quickly turned on his back and a hand wrapped his throat.

"You think you can get away!" Michaels screamed in his face before punching him three times. Reid felt his nose break and he cried out in pain. Micheals brought the switch blade again and began to angrily cut at Reid's hair. "You can't tempt anyone if you look ugly. You tempted my dad."

Reid flinched and sobbed at every shred of his hair that got cut off, it was left a shaggy mess. Michaels threw the blade down and stood up. He began to drag Reid towards the well. "NO!" Reid screamed. Reid saw that Michaels was too busy dragging him that he hadn't picked up the knife. Reid used his good arm and grabbed it. He thrust it into Micheals thigh, ripped it out and watched him fall against the well. All the anger and adrenaline surge forward. He kicked his leg out and nailed Michaels in the chest. The man fell out of sight but his hand bloody hand caught the edge of the well, stopping him from falling. Reid stabbed the knife into his hand and heard a loud splash as Michaels fell down the well.

Laying on the ground, Reid spat some blood that had travelled from his nose and into his mouth. He heard Michaels cursing and trying to get out of the well. He used his good arm and dragged himself to the well. There wasn't much of a wall left at the top and he was able to look down easily.

"You bastard! I'm going to kill you! Just like your mom and dad!"

Reid looked away from the well and slowly got to his feet. He felt weak but he still had some adrenaline in him. He needed to get away as far as he could. Michaels wasn't going to get out of there and if he did manage to, Reid wasn't in any condition to fight him. He also needed medical attention soon. He limped away from well and struggled to keep the pain at bay. He needed help.

* * *

Emily closed her eyes as she and listened to Hotch as he spoke. Her mind was a little clearer and she was beginning to remember things. They were doing a cognitive interview.

"Where are you?" Hotch asked. She had explained to him about the well and the water. She had barely remembered it till she had pushed her mind. It was helpful and she knew it. She just hoped that they could find the location. She needed to give them more.

Emily pushed past the fog and found herself in the back of a car. Her eyes never focused on anything but she could faintly see lots of trees go past as her eyes wandered to the windscreen briefly.

"I'm in a car, I don't know what model. I see a lot or trees, like a forest. I wasn't in the car long, I think. He's stopping the car. Hotch, he's opening the door!"

"You're in the hospital, Emily," he gently guided her before holding her hand. "I'm here, you are just reliving a memory."

"I know," she said before taking a deep breath. "He grabs under my arms and drags me out. Wait! I see something in the distance in the other direction. It's an old sign for a factory. I can't make it out what it says. Damn it!"

She opened her eyes and looked at Hotch. "That's all I got. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said gently. "You've given us a lot to work with. I'll have Kevin do a search on the landmarks. He might be able to get a location."

* * *

Morgan, Hotch, Rossi and Clyde Easter raced towards the location that Kevin had given them. It was their only hope. Kevin had managed to find an abandoned factory that had not been used in a very long time. It was the only one with a well with it. They just hoped that Michaels had not moved location. It was out of the city and they had gone past where they had found Emily. JJ and Blake had stayed at the hospital to look after Emily and Garcia.

Morgan put his gun back at his waist after checking it. He looked up.

"Hotch, stop the car!" Morgan yelled. Hotch slammed on the brakes. The SUV had barely stopped when Morgan rushed out of the car and raced up the road. Hotch realised who Morgan was going to.

"Rossi, grab some blankets and the medical kit."

Hotch raced out of the SUV and up the road. He found Morgan leaning over a bloody figure lying at the side of the road. Pure horror filled Hotch as he saw the disfigured face of Reid. He also noticed the unnatural angle of Reid's arm. Cuts littered his arms. Hotch knelt by his side and checked under his thin shirt to find longer and bloodier cuts.

"Reid! Reid! It's Morgan. Wake up, kiddo. Come on, you can do it."

A heavy and pained gasp came from Reid as his eyes opened slowly. Rossi and Clyde arrived with the blankets and medical kit. Reid began to cry and his breathing got faster. "I-It hurts."

"Clyde, call an ambulance. He needs one now and I don't feel comfortable taking him to the hospital in the SUV. I don't know what other injuries he might have."

Clyde brought out his phone and called for help. Hotch looked at Reid.

"Reid, where is he? Where is Michaels?"

Reid moaned in pain before taking a deep breath and talking. He was ice-cold after being out in the cold for so long. "He's in the well. I-I s-stabbed him and he f-fell in. I-I wasn't gonna be a-able to fight him s-so I-I tried to g-get away. Couldn't g-go any further."

"Help is coming," Clyde said.

Hotch looked to Clyde and Rossi. "I want you both to go to the factory. I want Michaels secured. I don't want there being any remote chance of the bastard getting away. Call when you've made sure he isn't going anywhere. Go, now!"

Rossi nodded and ran back to the SUV with Clyde. They took off to the factory, towards the monster that had caused so much pain to Reid.

Morgan could barely recognise him as he laid with blankets around him. There were so many cuts. So much blood and swelling.

"I'm so s-sorry!" Reid cried heavily.

"Hey, you got nothing to be sorry for," Morgan said gently. "Just stay calm and we will get you to the hospital."

"No, no, no," Reid cried. "S-She's d-dead because of me. H-He killed G-Garcia. He took her b-bear from me and t-they ripped i-it apart. I'm s-sorry. All m-my fault."

Morgan closed his eyes and cursed the bastard for using Garcia against Reid in such a way. Hotch was opening a bottle of water for Reid. Morgan took hold of Reid's good hand and squeezed it to comfort him. "Reid, Garcia is in the hospital. She isn't dead. She went through surgery and she's going to make a full recovery. All she wants to do is see you. She's not dead."

"Really?" Reid said quietly.

"She's alive and eating bad hospital food," Morgan smiled gently. "She's okay."

Reid cried at the joy of knowing Garcia was alive. She had survived. He thought he had lost her too. He moaned as Hotch put a folded up blanket under his head. He sipped from the water bottle at his lips. It was glorious to his throat. Hotch brought out some wipes.

"Reid, I'm going to clean some of the dried blood. I need to get a clear look at the cuts. The ambulance will come soon but you need help now. It might hurt but I need you to remember that I'm not hurting you."

"O-Okay."

Hotch began to wipe at the dried blood and over the cuts. Reid grimaced and tried to stay calm as his cuts began a fresh wave of pain over his body. Morgan tried to get his attention away from the cuts. "Everything is okay. Rossi and Clyde will secure that bastard and we will get you to the hospital. I'm proud of you getting away and stabbing that dick."

"H-He p-put me in a coffin," Reid coughed. "C-Couldn't get out. Garcia's bear kept me sane in there. I-I want to see her. I need her."

**Please review**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I would love to know what you think. Enjoy! Sorry for this being so short but ran out of time. I'll put up a longer one tomorrow.  
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**Thank you so much for all the reviews. You are wonderful and I just want to kiss you all! Thank you!  
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**Enjoy and please review, you know you want to.  
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**All mistakes are my own**

Reid felt scared as he got wheeled into the emergency room. Morgan's hand left his hand and his friend got forced to stay back.

"No!" Reid cried weakly as they started touching him. "D-Don't touch me. Morgan! Garcia! I need Garcia."

A small female nurse came above him and tried to help him. "It's okay, sweetie. Your friends can see you soon but we need stop all this bleeding and get you to surgery for your cuts."

Reid let out a small shriek. "No, no! Garcia protects me. I need her. I don't know you! I don't know you!"

"Sedate him," the doctor ordered. The nurse nodded and filled a syringe. Reid tried to get away from the syringe but couldn't as it got plunged into his arm. He laid against the bed and closed his eyes. Everything was took heavy to stay awake.

* * *

Rossi and Clyde were in another hospital. They had secured Michaels from the well and he'd been transported to another hospital for the wounds to his hands and leg. Rossi would've prefered to have left him to die back at that place. The last remains of William and Diana Reid were found but they were not recoverable. Clyde had actually turned away and vomited when he saw the bodies of Diana and William Reid. Ripped apart and fed to dogs. Knowing that Reid was not going to recover from what he had seen fully, he vowed to give Reid all the support he could.

Clyde walked back towards him. "He's in surgery. Good news, the doctors don't think he'll ever regain full function of his hand after their first assessment. Seems Spencer only just missed the artery in his leg."

"Son of a bitch," Rossi shook his head. "I hate this man. He deserves to die. I met Spencer's mother and father. The father wasn't the best one in the world but in his last moments he made it known he loved his son. Diana was a wonderful woman. She loved her son and she didn't deserve to die that way. Spencer will never get over this."

"I saw him in action when we were dealing with Doyle. When Emily went missing, he brought out strength I didn't even know was there. Maybe, he can find that part again."

"I hope so," Rossi sighed.

* * *

Reid couldn't stop the memories in his head. He didn't want to see this.

_Michaels walked over to his father and ripped the duct tape off his mouth. "Dad, are you okay?" he said as he tried to get out of his cuffs. He strained against the padded cuffs. His mother looked so scared. "Mom, it's okay. I'm here. I'm going to get you out of here. I promise."_

_Kevin Michaels let out a sadistic laugh. "Don't make promises you can't keep."_

_"Spencer, are you okay?" William asked._

_"I'm fine. Worry about mom," Reid said. He looked up to Michaels with pleading eyes. "Please, you can do what you want to me. Just let them go. They didn't do anything."_

_"We both know that is a lie!" he said angrily before storming over to Diana and striking her across the face._

_"You son of a bitch. You leave her alone!" Reid screamed at him._

_Michaels pulled out a knife and held it to Diana's face. "I'm going to do much worse than that."_

* * *

Reid opened his eyes and found the team around his bed. Morgan, Hotch, Blake and JJ looked down at him. JJ put her hand to his chest and spoke to him gently. "Spence, calm down. It was only a nightmare. You need to stay calm."

"Where is Garcia?" Reid said, his voice slightly sluggish. "If you're here, she-she is alone."

Morgan stepped forward and smiled at Reid. "Hey, kid. It's okay. I have special permission from her. She wanted me to check on you to make sure you are okay. You are in the hospital and you've been asleep since yesterday. The doctors have done what they can to reduce the scarring on your face, arms and chest. You'll have some but you won't have them as severe as they would've been. Your arm also has pins inside it to keep the bone from healing wrong and has a big cast on it. You've had some blood transfusions and you have a lot of bruising."

Reid looked down to his arms and saw all the bandaging. He couldn't stop tears coming down his face.

"Are you in pain?" Hotch asked as he saw the tears. Reid shook his head gently.

"I l-lost the bear. I didn't m-mean to lose it. Garcia gave me the bear and I-I didn't take care of it. He-He poured b-blood on it and let his dogs rip it apart. Garcia is going to get angry w-with me."

Blake held his hand. "No, she won't. She isn't angry. It wasn't your fault, sweetheart. He took it from you."

JJ excused herself leaving Blake to comfort Reid. She returned a few minutes later with another bear, a knitted scarf was around its neck. JJ brought it to the bed. "I went to see Garcia and she sent me back down with this. She isn't angry and she wants you to have this. She knitted the little scarf herself."

Reid reached out his good hand and JJ gave him the bear. Reid held it tightly against himself and closed his eyes. Within seconds, he had fallen asleep again.

"I think we should try to get Garcia and Reid in the same room," JJ said. "Garcia is restless up there not being able to see him."

"I think that is a good idea," Hotch agreed. He looked down at Reid and felt guilt for not protecting him enough.

He knew one thing. Michaels was going to pay with everything he had.

**Please review**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter and I hope you enjoy it. I just want to say a big thank you to you all for being such brilliant readers and for staying with me throughout all my fanfics. You are the best in the world and I cherish each one of you. Enjoy, my lovely Reid whump lovers!  
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**Thank you so much for all the reviews. You are amazing and you're the best in the world. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia sat in the hospital. She was knitting to keep herself from going insane. Her stomach still hurt but the pain medication they were giving her helped keep most of the pain at bay. She saw the door open and watched as two nurses wheeled Reid into the room and placed him near her. They attached a heart monitor and an oxygen cannula under his nose. A small sob escaped her lips when she saw all the white bandages and his arm laid straight with a large cast on it. Morgan walked into the room and over to her. He gave her a small hug and kissed her forehead. "He's okay. He'll need a lot of help to get better but he'll be happy to wake up and see you with him."

"How bad was he hurt?" Garcia asked. "I want the truth."

Morgan licked his lips before talking. "His arm got broken in two places and the doctors had to place pins inside, they will have to stay there for him to regain full mobility. He came in dehydrated. Michaels inflicted over twelve cuts to Reid's face, all different in size but most of them long. Seventeen cuts to each arm while the doctors counted fifteen in his chest. Most will scar but the doctors concentrated on reducing the scarring to his face. He's still going have scars on his face but JJ looked up some things that reduced the scars. He lost a lot of blood but they finished the transfusions. He's scared and his mental scars will take a long time heal. He thought you would get angry at him for losing the bear. Clyde went back to the factory and found it ripped apart and covered in blood. They also found cameras placed everywhere. There was a cage in the dog area and a large metal coffin that Reid said he got trapped in. He told us that the bear kept him sane. He thought you were dead before we found him."

Garcia put down her knitting and took Morgan's hand. "Why did this happen to him? He's lost his mother and father, forced to watch them die. He's now been subjected to brutal torture. He's such a nice man and he only helps people. He has never hurt them. He had nothing to do with Kevin Michael's father being killed. He was four for christ sake."

"I don't know why bad things happen to him," Morgan sighed. "He does know that we are here to help him though. Michaels is in another hospital under armed guard. He won't regain full use of his hand again. I'm proud of Reid stabbing the bastard and getting away. Even through all that pain, he fought back. It shows us that he has hidden strength. We need to get him to use that strength during his recovery."

"I'm starting a blanket for him. It will take a while but I want him to know he has something good to wrap around him and keep him safe."

"Can I help?" Morgan asked as he picked up the needles.

"I don't have time to teach you to knit," Garcia sighed. "I need to get this blanket done. I'm not going anywhere for a while."

Morgan picked up some wool and began the knitting pattern on the needles. He began knitting causing Garcia to look at him with a bemused smile on her face. "You've kept a secret from me. How do you know how to knit?"

He let out a small sigh before a small smile touched his lips. "Reid taught me. I was staying with him for a few days when my house was getting fumigated. We were watching television and he was knitting away. He bet me that I couldn't do it and he lost. I ended up taking to it easily. I like doing it. It's strangely addictive and calming. Don't make fun of me though."

"I would never make fun of you. I'm happy that you know how to knit. Don't slack. We have a blanket to make."

* * *

Reid woke up and found himself sat up slightly. He realised someone had moved the bed up. He looked down and made sure he had Garcia's bear with him still. He held onto it tightly.

"He isn't going anywhere," Garcia's voice came from next to him. He looked to the side and saw her smiling at him. "Hey, sweetie. It's okay. You're safe now. How are you feeling?"

"Better now I'm with you. I'm sorry about t-the other bear," he said nervously.

"It's okay," she assured him. "Don't worry about that. Just worry about getting better."

"H-He told me that you were dead. I thought y-you were dead when he was hurting me. I'm so happy you are alive. I'm sorry he stabbed you."

"You don't having anything to be sorry for. He may have stabbed me but he underestimated my ability to survive. He won't ever hurt you again. I'm going to stay with you through everything."

She watched as Reid used his free hand and touched the bandages. His lower lip wobbled as he felt where all the bandages were. "He cut my face. I'm never going to look the same."

"The doctors reduced the scarring. We can do things to hide them," Garcia said.

They looked to the door as Hotch walked in. He walked over to Reid first and gave him a gentle smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Garcia makes me feel better. Hotch, I need to use the bathroom."

"You have a catheter. Just go, it's okay."

"I don't want to make anyone mad. I wet myself and he spat at me. I couldn't hold it," Reid said as he increased his hold on the bear. "He said I disgusted him. I don't want to make anyone mad if I mess up the sheets."

"You won't mess anything up. Just go. No-one will get mad."

Reid nodded and nervously had a wee. Garcia and Hotch looked at each other and realised just how traumatized Reid was. Reid spoke again but it wasn't to them. It was to himself.

"Mom and dad gone. Mom and dad gone to the dogs," Reid said, he kept repeating the words till Hotch stopped him. Reid looked up to Hotch and looked ashamed. "I'm sorry. He put me in the cage and let the dogs out. They barked and snapped, only wanted my blood. Just like they had mom's blood. Just like they had the teddy bear. Never stopped barking and trying to get to me till he locked them up. Bad dogs! Bad dogs!"

"Reid," Garcia called. "Don't dwell on those things now. Just think good things. Think about all the time we will spend together when we get out of the hospital. Don't think about the dogs."

Okay," Reid nodded, a vacant look in his eyes. He leaned back into the pillow and closed his eyes.

Hotch covered Reid up with a hospital blanket and made sure he was warm. "We'll get justice for you, Reid. For you and your parents."

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	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, I would love to know what you think. I also want to remind everyone that I do one shot requests. For example, if you wanted an alternate way for an episode to go, I will happily write that alternate episode in fanfic form. Just drop me a message and I will see what I can do.  
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**Thank you so much for all the reviews. I want to make virtual brownies and send them to you all. Thank you!  
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**Enjoy and please review, you know you want to.  
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**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch, Morgan and Rossi walked into Kevin's Michaels room. He looked up at them and smiled. "Hello, agents. How is Spencer?"

"Recovering," Hotch said as calmly as he could. Losing his temper would only give Michaels ammo against the team. "A shame about your hand," Hotch smiled.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Michaels smiled. "I have plans to get Spencer back for what he did to me. You think he is safe. He won't ever be safe as long as I am alive."

"Oh, don't worry about staying alive for long," Hotch said. "I'm going to make sure they put you in a chair and fry you till you have no pulse. We know what you did to Spencer and his parents. You're a sick bastard, just like your father."

"Say one more word about my father and I'll gut that little bitch that Spencer needs so much. Second time is the charm."

Morgan surged forward but Rossi caught him and pulled him back. "He isn't worth it, Morgan. Don't give him the satisfaction."

"Why did you leave him on my porch? Why not any of the other team members?"

"I saw how much he meant to you. When I was sewing those pretty little eyes shut, he kept whimpering. I don't think he even realised he was doing it. He was so fucked up by the time I covered him in his mother's blood. I think he truly broke when he realised that his best friend wasn't coming to the rescue. His best friend wasn't going to bring back his crazy mommy and his dead beat daddy. I watched you with him for some time. You are his protector. I'm sorry, let me correct myself. You were the protector of him. You didn't protect that pretty little face of his when I carved into it. He pleaded and begged me to stop cutting. He never stopped crying. Good luck trying to fix him. You really think he'll ever be the same? I see him in a padded room within the next month or so."

"We will fix him and he'll get better," Rossi glared angrily. "You will pay for what you did to Diana and William."

"What I did was give them what they had coming. They helped kill my father and cover up his murder. Killers deserve to get killed."

"They weren't killers. They never laid a hand on your father. A father who killed a six-year-old boy name Riley Jenkins after raping him. Gary Michaels was a sick, disgusting pedophile. The world was a better place the day he got taken from the world. You are right about one thing. Killers deserve to get killed. You're a killer and the electric that will pulse through your veins when I watch you get executed will kill you dead."

* * *

**Two days later**

Reid sat up in his bed, his stitches held as he did. Garcia wasn't in the room with him. A nurse had taken her for a test. He had felt fear when he had watched her leave the room. She promised to come back as quick as she could. He bit his lip as he got off the bed and stood up. He wobbled and ignored the pain that his body hit him with. He picked up the bear and held it against himself. His catheter no longer existed, taken out the day before. He removed the wires from himself and made his way to the door. He walked out the door to try to find Garcia.

"Reid!" a voice called his name. He looked to the side and saw Emily walking towards him. He knew they had released her two days ago but he had not seen her. She stood in front of him. "Reid, what are you doing out of bed?"

He began to walk when she stopped him. "You need to get back to bed, Reid."

He shook his head gently. "I need to find Garcia. She's been gone too long. I need to find her."

"She'll come back soon. If they took her for a test, it might take some time. Come on, follow me and I'll take you back to bed. Garcia wouldn't want you walking about with your injuries."

Reid felt numb but let Emily walk him back into the room and place him on the bed. She raised the bed so he could sit up without putting any strain on his cuts. She attached the oxygen clip back on his finger and put the covers back over him. She held his hand. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. Clyde and Hotch said I needed to have a night's rest before I saw you. I'm so sorry about what happened to you and your parents."

"He killed mom and dad. All alone now," Reid said, his eyes distant. "Look like Frankenstein's monster now."

"No, you don't," she said. "Who is the bear?"

She went to touch the ear but he moved it away and held it. "Don't. Please don't take him away."

"It's okay, Reid. I wasn't going to take him away. No-one will take him away from you."

Reid sat on the bed and rocked backwards and forward gently. He looked at the bear and smiled. A look of fear came upon his face. "I'm going to the padded room, aren't I?"

"No, you are coming home. Everyone wants to help you get better."

"Only way I'll get better is for mom and dad to come back. I want my mom but she's dead. Dogs teeth tearing, snapping. Mom cried and cried. Couldn't stop it. Couldn't stop him killing dad. Useless son! Useless!"

Emily caught his hand as he hit himself. She sat on the bed and put her arms around him. "You did all you could."

Reid didn't cry, he let Emily hold him. He looked up to Emily. "Can I have some juice?"

"I'll go get you some," she nodded. "Just stay here and I'll be right back."

"Okay," he nodded.

Emily left the room and went to get him a glass of juice. He sat there for a few seconds when he heard doctors shouting. There was a loud crash. He quickly rose from the bed and raced as quickly as he could and went into the small bathroom in his room. He locked the door and slowly slid down against the wall. He held the bear and closed his eyes.

"Don't find me, Kevin," he repeated over and over.

* * *

Garcia got wheeled back into the room, only to see Emily, Morgan and Hotch at the door. "What's going on?"

"Reid locked himself in the bathroom. He keeps yelling for Michaels to go away. I don't think he realises it's us talking to him."

Garcia rose to her feet, she pushed away the hands trying to get her to sit down. She held one hand to her stomach and walked to the door. "Reid, it's Garcia. I gave you the bear. It's me. Michaels can't hurt you. He's locked away. I need you to come out so you can keep me company and let me draw on your cast. Open up, sweetie."

They all felt relief as the sound of the door being unlocked filled their ears. Garcia pushed open the door and saw Reid in the corner, his eyes red and wet. Morgan stepped in and helped him up. Reid held the bear against his chest as he got led back to the bed. They watched as Morgan put the covers over him. Garcia winced as she sat on the bed but ignored the ache in her stomach. She held his free hand. "Why did you lock yourself in the bathroom?"

"I h-heard people shouting and then a crash. I thought he was coming to finish me off. You weren't here and I got scared."

"You don't need to feel scared anymore. Nothing will happen to you. Never again will you get hurt. I promise."

"Don't m-make a promise you might not keep it. I-I made a promise to g-get my mom out of that place. I didn't keep it. Promises are just fractured lies. I miss my momma."

**Please review**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, I would love to know what you think. I do apologise for my accident yesterday about the mix up with the chapters. It was 4.30am and in my defense, I've never done that before. Sorry again. Enjoy, my angels.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews. I want to make pies (my specialty) and send them to you all. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review, you know you want to.  
**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A week later**

Reid sat in the hospital bed, the blanket that Morgan and Garcia had finished wrapped around his body. The psychiatrist had come in and completed an assessment on him. Hotch had listened to the assessment, knowing that the news was not good. Reid had regressed to a dependent state where supervision was something he needed constantly. Nightmares plagued him during his sleep causing him severe distress. Severe depression, difficult emotional phases and survivors guilt were also present. The assessment had classed him as severely traumatized, emotionally unstable and his mind had regressed to try to protect him from dealing with the full force of everything that had happened. The doctors had advised him to place him in psychiatric care but Hotch refused. He knew that would only make things worse. Hotch now stared at Reid as he watched the television, it was an episode of Tom and Jerry he was watching. The bandages were less present now, the small cuts now had small bandages while the large bandages were now replaced. They were healing well but Hotch knew that they had to stay on for a few more days to make sure their was no infection present. Today, they were taking him out of the hospital and moving him in with Morgan. Garcia was also staying there as her presence was vital for Reid not to lose control in tough times. The doctor had signed the discharge papers and given him all the medication and instructions for Reid.

He walked in with a wheelchair as he had to take Reid out in one due to hospital policy. He sat on the edge of the bed and let Reid watch the end of the cartoon. He turned off the television and helped Reid sit up. "You ready to stay with Morgan and Garcia?"

"Just want to go home," Reid said as Hotch slipped trainers onto his feet. He kept the blanket wrapped around him and kept his teddy bear held firmly against his chest as he sat in the chair. He turned to Hotch. "Is mom at home?"

"No, she isn't. Remember?" Hotch sighed as he knelt and looked at him.

Reid closed his eyes and nodded. "I forgot for a minute. Michael right about me being stupid."

"You aren't stupid," Hotch said. "You are just a little confused. Let's get you home and you can go to bed. Garcia is waiting for you. She baked you some cookies."

"Like her cookies," Reid said as a small smile tugged at his lips.

Hotch gave him a gentle smile before grabbing Reid's bag of things and putting it on his shoulder. He pushed the wheelchair out of the room and made his way out of the hospital. The journey of Reid's recovery was not going to be an easy one.

**A few days later**

Reid woke up from his nightmare, his breathing fast and tears down his face. He lifted his cover with his good hand and panicked when he saw that he had wet the bed. He scrambled out of bed, ignored the dull aches from his almost healed cuts. He used the fingers that were available on his casted broken arm to help his other hand pulled off the covers. He cried as he ripped off the duvet.

"No, no, no, no, no," he cried. "Gonna be mad at me!"

He ripped off all the covers, pillows and went to pull off the bed sheet. His door opened and he felt fear grip him. Morgan came in and looked at the stain on the bed and on Reid's pyjama trousers. Reid retreated into the corner and put his knees to his chest. He whimpered as Morgan stepped close to him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I had a bad dream and I-I didn't mean t-to do it. Please don't punish me. I'm sorry."

Garcia came into the room dressed in her pink pyjamas and saw Reid panicking and crying in the corner. He rushed to her. "I-I didn't mean it! I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. It happens. It was a bad nightmare. No-one blames you. No-one will punish you for it. Morgan is going to help you get some clean pyjamas and I'll clean this up. Don't cry, sweetie."

"I thought you were going to punish me. I-I made a mess."

"I will never punish you for anything, no-one will ever punish you again. Go with Morgan and he'll run a bath for you, then you can get changed and have some more rest."

"Okay," Reid nodded. "I'm not bad."

"No, you're wonderful," she said before guiding him to Morgan.

* * *

Hotch came in the morning after Reid had wet the bed. He saw that all the bandages were now removed, revealing the raised scars all over his face and body. Two long scars covered Reid's cheek while the one of his forehead was barely visible along with other cuts that were not very visible. The doctors had done what they could. His arms were another matter. Reid laid on the sofa, a mountain of pillows around his head, his favourite blanket over him and his teddy with him. He was watching the Simpsons and barely registered Hotch's presence.

Walking into the kitchen, he found Garcia bringing in some clean and dry bed sheets.

"How are you holding up?" he asked. "How's the stomach."

"Still aches but I'm fine. I'll have a scar but I don't care. I'm taking it day by day taking care of Reid. I only let him watch cartoons because they seem safe for him. He freaked out last night when he wet the bed," she said before her eyes watered. "He thought we were going to punish him for it. That bastard Michaels punished him for wetting himself even though he locked him in a cage and gave him no-where to go. Wish that bastard was dead."

"We all do but he will go on trial soon for what he did. We have all the video evidence that we need. We have the video of William and Diana's death as well as Reid's torture. Reid won't have to go to court."

Garcia walked back into the living room and found Spencer asleep. She turned off the television and tucked the blanket further into him. "I hope he doesn't have any nightmares."

"How bad are they?"

"Sometimes, he wakes up and he needs a moment to focus and remember where he is. Other times, he can't stop screaming and he can barely breathe. I woke up the second night he was here to find him in front of my door. In his nightmare, I had died and he got covered in my blood, that's what he told me it was about. He sat in front of the door with a knife because he thought he needed to protect me. I've put locks on all the draws now so he can't get to the knives anymore."

"Garcia, I want you to take a day to yourself. You need to take a break from looking after him."

"I can't," she shook her head. "He needs me to calm him down. He panics when I'm not around him."

"He'll understand that you just need a day. Morgan can care for Reid for a little while."

* * *

Garcia woke up in her bed in her apartment. She was staying there for the night after being ordered to take a break. There was rapid knocking on her door, she got up and made her way to the door. She opened it and her eyes widened when she saw a barefoot, soaking wet Reid in front her.

**Please review**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I have to say this. If you don't like the direction the fanfic is going, don't read it. There is a reason that Reid had regressed so much and why he keeps the bear so close. He needs that bear as it represents innocence and safety to him. His mind has regressed to stop him from fully comprehending the true pain from watching his parents get killed. I doubt someone who had witnessed their parents killed in such a way would be the same as before. I just had to get that out. Almost all of you are liking the direction and you tell me when you want some tweaks, I try to make them but the small few aren't. Sorry, I needed to vent. **

**Thank you for all the reviews, you are so brilliant. You really make me smile. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia watched as he shivered violently in front of her. His hair, his jacket and everything else soaked with the rain. "Reid, what are you doing here?"

His let out a small sob and held the wet bear against him. "Y-You weren't there. You left. Why did y-you leave? Y-You p-promised that you would s-stay. M-Morgan still asleep. Left to find you."

She quickly brought him into the apartment. She took off his jacket and grabbed some towels from her bathroom. She came back and quickly dried his hair as much as she could. He stayed silent as she grabbed some clothes that Kevin had left from when they were still together. They would fit Reid's small frame. When she came back, he was still crying.

"Reid, we can talk in a minute but we need to get you changed into some dry clothes or else you will get sick."

He stood up and let her help him get changed. Her hand lingered on one of his scars before she took off the wet shirt and replaced it with a dry one. She left his boxers on as they were not too wet and put dry trousers on him. His jacket had protected his cast from getting too wet but his bear had gotten soaked. She grabbed her hairdryer and plugged it in. "Reid, we need to dry your bear. He's soaked. Let me just put the dryer over him for a few minutes. I need to take him for a minute. I'll give him straight back."

Reid reluctantly gave her the bear and sat on the couch. He watched her dry the bear for a few minutes. She handed it straight to him. He loved the warmth that came from the bear. Garcia wrapped a blanket around Reid and sat next to him, putting her arm around him.

"I'm sorry I left but Hotch ordered me to take a night off. I didn't want to but he didn't really give me a choice. I'm so sorry I left. I won't do it again. You shouldn't have snuck out though. Anything could have happened to you. You're lucky that you didn't cut your feet up. I need to call Morgan," she said as she grabbed her phone and dialled his number.

Reid listened to the conversation and knew that he was in trouble. He didn't mean to make anyone mad but he got scared. He always felt scared. He heard Morgan's angry voice from the phone. Michaels always got angry at him. He flinched as he remembered his arm being stomped on and broken. Garcia hung up the phone and looked back to him.

"Reid, what's wrong?"

"Is Morgan going to hurt me?" Reid whispered. "When I make people mad, they hurt me."

"No," she said as she brushed her hand through his hair. "He isn't going to hurt you. He's just worried about you. He didn't know you had even left. He's coming over now. Sweetie, don't ever think that any of us will hurt you. Michaels hurt you because he is a sadistic person that couldn't accept what his father truly was."

"He killed my parents for a fucking pedophile of a father," Reid snapped angrily. "Made me watch! Why did he make me watch?!"

Garcia hugged him close and tried to calm him down. She knew how violent his moods could become. It wasn't safe if he lost control of what sanity he had. The doctors at the hospital had received updates for the last five days since Reid's release and they were not happy. They wanted him in psychiatric care so he could recover properly. Hotch had refused them each time but they had threatened to get an order to overturn his decision. She knew placing him in a facility would cause more harm to him. There was still the risk that they would lose and his care would get turned over to the hospital.

She noticed that Reid had not spoken again and his breathing had levelled out a little. She looked down and noticed that he was sleeping against her chest. She pulled up the blanket and didn't move.

* * *

Morgan used his key and came into the apartment to find Reid asleep against Garcia.

"I didn't even know he had left," he sighed. "I really did a good job of looking after him, didn't I?"

"Don't start feeling like that," Garcia said. "He snuck out and came here. He forgot to wear shoes. He doesn't seem to be getting better, he is seems to get worse. He can't control his mood, he can't look after himself and he thinks that he will get punished or hurt if he disobeys. How is Hotch doing with keeping the doctors at bay?"

"Not good," Morgan admitted. "They want his care out of our hands and they are using our hectic work hours as an excuse. We can't let them find out that he left the house on his own."

"They're supposed to help and instead, they want to put him in a place which he fears," she whispered. "God, I just want him to stay here and get better with family helping him.

* * *

**A week later**

Reid sat in the living room of Morgan's house on the floor and watched television again. He heard shouting behind him and turned around to see two large men standing at the door.

"You can't do this," Garcia shouted at them before she barged past them and over to him. Reid didn't understand what was happening.

"We have an order, miss," one of the men said before handing her a piece of paper. "He has to come with us by law. Mr Hotchner no longer has control over his medical decisions, he is a ward of the state from now on. We have local law enforcement outside."

"Garcia, what is going on?" he asked fearfully.

"They want to take you into a psychiatric centre. They won the order to have you removed from our care," she said as she looked at the paper.

"No, no," he shook his head. He backed into the wall and looked at the men. "I don't to go with you. I wanna stay with Garcia."

One of the men went to the door and called for the two officers to come in. They held Garcia back as she struggled to stay near Reid. The two men stepped forward and took Reid from the wall. They were careful of his broken arm. They restrained him as he started to scream. "NO! NO! I don't want to go! GARCIA! DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!"

The officer kept a tight grip on Garcia. "You don't understand," she yelled. "He won't survive in there. He needs his family!"

They dragged him out of the house and into the waiting van. The officer led Garcia to the door. She cried as she heard him screaming inside. The screams stopped and she knew they had sedated him. One man went into the driver's seat while the other walked back to her. The officer let her go.

"You can appeal but he is going to a good centre. Mr Hotchner can call the number at the bottom of the paper for more information."

He walked off and got into the back of the van.

The officers also made their way back to their car. She cried as she watched the van drive off. She saw the teddy bear she had given to Reid, the one he never let go off, laying on the grass. It must have fallen out of his hands during the struggle. Walking to it, she picked it up and knew she had to get it back to him. She had to get him back.

**Please review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I love writing this fanfic and want to thank you all again. My kitten Smithy says hello, he is in my lap as I post this. Enjoy the chapter!  
**

**Thank you again for all the reviews, you so amazing and you're just precious jewels in my world. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid opened his eyes sluggishly, he was on a bed in white room. He looked around and blinked a few more times to try to get rid of the heavy feeling that held his body. He slowly sat up. He stilled and shook as he realised where he was. The window had a metal cover over it, the room was bare of anything he could use. He was in a hospital, a hospital for the mentally ill. He got off the bed and went to the door. He began to hit it. "Hello! Please let me out. I don't belong here."

Midway through another hit to the door, he stopped when he realised that the teddy bear Garcia had given to him wasn't in his hand. He rushed to the bed and began to search frantically. "No, no, no! Where is he? I promised that I wouldn't lose him."

The door opened and three orderlies walked into the room. A doctor followed behind them. "Hello, Spencer. My name is Dr Ranston. I'm going to treat you during your stay here."

"I lost it," Reid panicked. "I need it back. I need Garcia. She can keep me safe. Please, I need to get back my bear."

"You didn't come here with a bear," the doctor said. "We took over your care to help you get better. You've come here so we can get your mind back to normal."

"I was getting better! I want Garcia!"

"You can't have visitors yet. I'm sorry."

Reid went to the corner, his breathing getting faster and faster. He wanted to go home. His mother got taken from a place like this. He shut his eyes as he remembered her body hanging from the ceiling, blood dripping into the bucket.

"I WANT GARCIA!"

He tried to run past the orderlies but they quickly caught him and dragged him to the bed. They held down his legs and arms. He looked up and saw Michael standing above him with the knife. "Ready for another session?" Michael smirked.

"Get him away from me. He's going to kill me! He killed them. No! Get him away!" Reid screamed. He looked back up and saw that Michael had disappeared. The doctor came forward with a needle.

"No, don't hurt me," he pleaded. "I don't want it. I don't want it."

His pleas died on his lips as the needle got put into his hip and the plunger pushed. He fell into a blurry and hazy world, barely feeling the restraints placed around his wrists and ankles. He heard soft words through the haze.

"This is the best option for you. We'll help you recover from the trauma that is haunting you."

* * *

Garcia waited impatiently for the doors to open to the ward that Reid was in. It had been days since she or the team had seen him. They hadn't been allowed to visit Reid until now. Hotch was launching an appeal to get him back. Morgan and Hotch stood next to her. All three went through the doors as soon as they opened. A doctor came up to them.

"You must Spencer's visitors."

"Don't even talk to me," Garcia said angrily. "Just tell me where he is. Security already cleared me to bring his bear back to him. The one thing that he depends on to help him stay grounded and you've deprived him of it."

"He's in the day room. He's being given some heavy medication. Please don't do anything to upset him."

"Me! Upset him!" Garcia snapped. "You took him out of the one place he felt safe and you put him here. All through his life, he has feared being trapped in a place like this and you made that fear come to life. We will win the appeal and when we do, I'm bringing him out of here and taking him home."

Garcia stormed past him and made her way to the day room. Hotch stayed to speak with the doctor while Morgan followed her. They entered the day room and it broke their hearts to see the way he was. There he was, sat in the corner of the couch, staring at the wall in front of him. A small line of drool at the corner of his mouth. Garcia walked over to him and sat next to him.

"Reid," she said gently. "Sweetie, it's Garcia and Morgan."

He turned to face her. A small smile fell upon his lips. "Garcia," he sighed.

"I brought your bear back. I kept him safe for you till I could come and give him back."

His eyes wandered around the room for a minute, she knew his mind was struggling to focus on anything due to his medication. She lifted up his arm and placed the bear after it. He focused on the bear and closed his eyes. Garcia put her hand on his cheek. "We're appealing and we are going to get you out of here."

"Want to..go..home," he said slowly. "Can't think."

"We are going to get you out of here, kid," Morgan promised.

Morgan used the sleeve of his jacket and wiped the drool from his mouth. He didn't want to think how heavy the medication was that Reid was receiving. The kid looked pale, tired and drugged to the gills. Hotch joined them and looked concerned at Reid's appearance. He knelt in front of him and looked at him. "How are you feeling, Reid?"

"Mom," Reid said before his eyes became unfocused. "Want to call mom?"

"Reid, she isn't with us anymore. We're here now," Morgan said.

Reid remembered and his eyes watered. He closed his eyes and put his head down. Garcia hugged him and held him. "I love you and I won't let them keep you in this place."

A nurse came up behind them. "I'm sorry but Spencer's time in the day room is over. He has to go back to his room. I can't allow you to go with him."

"We just got here," Garcia pleaded as she came away from him. "What are you giving him?"

"He has to be mildly sedated. He can become violent and lose control. He injured another nurse yesterday. We are giving him medication that will help him."

"You've turned him into a drooling mess," Morgan growled.

"I need to take him to his room," the nurse insisted. Garcia hugged Reid again. She cradled his face and smiled at him. "We're doing everything we can to get you back home. It won't take too long. Love you, baby boy."

Reid stared at her and nodded. Morgan and Hotch both said goodbye. It was only when the burly nurse got him on his feet and began to lead him away did Reid get upset. He dragged his feet weakly and tried to go back to Garcia. "No, don't want to go back. Please, let me go home. I want Garcia."

Garcia let out a small sob as she watched Reid.

The nurse gripped him more forcefully and dragged him down to his room. Reid got placed on the bed and left there. He held onto the bear and felt happy it was back with him. The bear was safe, but he wasn't.

**Please review**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I got alerted today that my fanfic, Hangman, is being passed on by someone else on another website as their fanfic. I am dealing with that now and would just like to say that I do not take kindly to my writing being stolen. I work hard on my fanfics and unless I have given you permission to do a translation, you do not take my work and pass it off. Thank you to the person that alerted me. Any way, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Only one update tonight as I am running a bit of a temperature and not feeling too great. Sorry!  
**

**Thank you again for all the reviews, you are awesome and absolutely wonderful. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Nurse Katherine didn't like where she worked but she needed the money. She clocked in and made her way to the day room. She stopped when she noticed one of the newest patients in the corner, his eyes were almost rolling in the back of his head. The closer she got, she realised that he had foam in the corner of his mouth and was having a fit. "Spencer, can you hear me?"

She laid him down and called for help. Mike, another nurse, rushed over and helped her. "He's having a fit. Has he had his medication today?" she asked she cleared his mouth of the foam so his airway was clear and turned him on his side.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "I'll check."

He rushed out to the office. She heard him shouting after a minute before he came over and picked Spencer up into his arms and rushed him to the medical room.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"That stupid new nurse gave him another cup of meds with the wrong dose on top of his usual dose. The kid is overdosing."

"Shit!" she cursed.

* * *

Hotch felt triumph as he read the letter. He had appealed against the decision and won. Spencer's care was now awarded back to him and he would keep it as long as he maintained a good standard of care for Reid and updated them on his progress. The decision would be evaluated again if Reid wasn't making any progress after six months. He grabbed his jacket and made his way to Garcia's office to get her. He was going to the centre and getting Reid back immediately. He knocked on the door and smiled at her. "We won the appeal. You want to come with me and get him?"

"Absolutely," she grinned happily. "We are making a few stops before we get there. I'm getting him some goodies. Go and get Morgan too. He has missed him so much."

Garcia walked through the doors. Dr Ranston stood at the nurse station. His face turned grim when he saw them. Hotch handed him the piece of paper. "I won the appeal and his care transferred back to me. I'm here to take him home."

"You can't at the moment," Dr Ranston said.

"You can't stop us from taking him home!" Garcia argued back. "Where is he?"

"He is currently in one of our exam rooms. There was a blunder with his medication and he began overdosing."

"WHAT?!" Morgan shouted angrily. "You overdosed him!"

"He's been treated and he will be fine. He will feel groggy for the next day or so but he'll be fine. He needs to stay here for at least a few more hours before I can release him."

"Tell me where he is! Now!" Garcia snapped at him.

Garcia and Morgan got led to the exam room while Hotch spoke with Dr Ranston, his voice angry and one they had only seen used on unsubs. They walked into the exam room and saw him lying on the bed. She noticed the bear wasn't there.

"Where is his bear?" Garcia demanded from the nurse.

"I think it is back in his room."

"Then go and get it. You people have done enough to him. You're supposed to look after him and instead he is lying here in this state because you can't look after him."

The nurse left quickly leaving them alone. Garcia stroked Reid's hair but couldn't get him to wake up. "Reid, it's Garcia. We're here to take you home. Wake up, sweetie."

"I don't think he'll wake for a while," Morgan said as he looked at the chart that listed the medication Reid had ingested. "How the hell did this happen? They almost killed him."

Hotch walked into the room with fury in his eyes. "We can take him a few hours and then I'm going to show this place what a mistake they made."

He had the teddy bear with him. He handed it over to Garcia. "A nurse gave this to me outside. She seemed reluctant to come in."

Garcia took the bear and put it under Reid's arm. "Don't worry, baby boy. We are here for you now. We're going to take you home."

* * *

Reid opened his eyes, they opened slowly. His mind felt weighed as he tried to recognise his surroundings. His eyes roamed around the car. A car? He didn't remember getting into a car. A soft hand stroked his hair. He was laid on someone's lap in the backseat of a car. His vision blurred for a second before he realised who the brightly coloured shoes he was looking at belonged to.

"Garcia," he slurred. He tried to get up but none of his limbs wanted to obey him.

"Hi, sweetie. It's nice to see you awake. Don't worry or be scared. We're on our way back home. We won the appeal and we got you back. Just like we promised," she said gently. He wanted to talk to her but he just wanted to go back to sleep. He put his head back on the pillow on her lap.

* * *

The next time he woke, his limbs didn't feel so heavy. He was on the couch in Morgan's living room with his blanket over him, Hotch sat in the chair in the corner on the phone. He finished the phone call when he saw that Reid was awake. He went over and sat on the edge of the couch. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Heavy, everything feels heavy," Reid sighed.

"You are going to feel a little sick for the next few days. You were given too much medication and you overdosed. We got you out of there and you won't go back there. I'm sorry that you had to go there in the first place."

"So many pills," Reid said before blinking slowly. "Didn't want to take them. Gave me no choice."

"You don't have to take anything you don't want to take here, Reid. Are you hungry?"

Reid nodded.

"Okay, Garcia is making some pasta. Is that okay?"

"I missed her cooking. I miss a lot now."

Garcia came into the room with a plate of pasta ten minutes later. Hotch had sat Reid up and put a tray on his lap. She put the pasta on the tray. "I put some cheese on it because I know you like it that way."

Reid smiled at her before trying to pick up the fork. He missed it three times. Hotch picked up the fork and put it in his hand. He watched as Reid struggled to put pasta on the fork and eat it. He was still suffering from the heavy effects being drugged. Hotch took the fork and smiled at Reid. "I'm going to help you eat. Don't be embarrassed, you were given way over the normal dosage."

Hotch didn't like the fact that Reid didn't argue. The old Reid would've argued about being fed. He fed him and was happy at the amount Reid consumed. He wondered if they had fed him properly at the hospital. Reid had almost finished the plate when he stopped eating and spoke.

"Don't send me back there," Reid pleaded. "It's horrible. They strapped me down when I didn't do what they told me. I don't want to go back."

"You will never go back there," Hotch said adamantly. "We will take care of you. I won't let you go back to a place like that."

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	18. Chapter 18

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you. I hope you enjoy it. A lot of you are asking where Emily is. Guess who's back. By popular demand, she is returning for multiple chapters. I sorted out my fanfic being copied and someone passing it off as their own. It got taken down and I'm happy now. I think it is wrong to pass off something you didn't work hard on as your own. It's sorted and I'm happy now. For future notice, I am only on this site. No-where else. I'm updating Connection tomorrow, sorry for the delay on that.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're amazing and I think you are just the most cracking readers in the world. By the way, I'm British and I sometimes use cracking as slang for brilliant. I don't know if Americans do. Thanks again!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A week later**

"MOMMA! MOMMA!"

Morgan bolted up from his bed as he heard Reid screaming from his bedroom. He pushed the covers off and rushed to the bedroom. He rushed in, barely catching a glimpse of Garcia's door opening. Reid was thrashing violently in the bed and continued screaming.

"LET ME OUT! AHHHHHHHH! NO!" Reid screamed, his face red and tears were down his cheeks. Morgan grabbed him and called out to him.

"Reid! Reid! Come on, wake up," he shouted as he tried to wake him up. Reid's eyes whipped open and he began to struggle against Morgan's hold on him. He whimpered when he couldn't escape his grasp.

"I'm sorry, Michaels. Let me go!" he cried. Morgan realised that Reid didn't fully comprehend that he was awake.

"Reid, it's Garcia. Wake up!

Reid focused on her and immediately calmed down. Morgan relaxed his hold and watched as his baby girl put her hand on Reid's forehead. "It's okay, baby boy. Michaels is in prison. He can't ever hurt you again. Take a deep breath and calm down."

He listened to her and calmed down his breathing. He looked at them both. "You won't tie me down, will you?"

"No," Garcia shook her head. "Never. Why would you think that?"

"One night, I had a really bad nightmare. The night nurse got so angry and tied me down to the bed. I begged him not to. I didn't want to be strapped down. I got strapped down before and Michaels cut me. Scarred my face. Every minute of that night, I feared that Michaels would come and I wouldn't be able to fight back. I saw things too when they forced the medication on me."

"What do you mean?" Morgan asked. "What things did you see?"

"I was in the day room. I saw Gary Michaels and I saw myself, when I was four. Gary walked over to little me and picked him up. Little me was screaming as he was taken away but no-one was listening. I couldn't stop him. I tried but everything was so heavy. I cried and then one of the nurses got angry because I was crying. He locked me in my room and said I was upsetting everyone."

Morgan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hated the nurses and doctors at that place. They had not tried to help him at all. All they had done for two weeks was drug him and tie him to a bed. They almost killed him with all the drugs.

"Did I tempt Gary Michaels when I was four? Was it my fault he targeted me?"

Garcia sat him up. "Don't ever think that, Reid. You did not tempt that disgusting bastard and it wasn't your fault. He was a sick man who liked to kill and hurt children. His son couldn't accept what his father was. Your mother saved you when she told her friend about Gary. If she had never said anything, you wouldn't be here with us."

"She would though," he said. "Kevin killed her because she told and he killed dad because he helped cover it up. If Gary had just hurt me, then my parents would still be alive."

Morgan made Reid face him. "Don't you ever say or think that again. Gary would have killed you and no child should have that happen to them. Your mother and father would not have survived losing you like that. Your mother and father protected you when you were four and by warning Riley's father, they saved you and other children from dying the same way that Riley did. Kevin is a sadistic fucker who can't accept that his father was a monster. He killed your mom and dad to try to run away from that fact. He almost killed you because in some sick way, his father had known you more than him. None of this is your fault. Your mother's death isn't your fault and neither is your father's death. Your dad knew the end was coming and he told you that he loved you. He didn't want you to feel that their death was your fault and deep down, you know that too."

Reid stayed silent but nodded gently. "I'm tired, I wanna sleep."

Garcia fluffed his pillow and laid him back down. He gripped the teddy bear and closed his eyes. They left the room leaving Reid to sleep.

"I can't believe what they put him through at that place," Garcia said angrily as they walked back to her room. "He was so scared in there. They treated him like he was nothing more than a burden. I think he is starting to see through the horror though. I think you got through to him, Morgan."

"Really?"

"Yes, I do. I think he will like seeing Emily in a few days. She's coming back from England for another visit. She also volunteered to look after Reid for the next two weeks meaning we have till then to find a way of making sure at least one of us is with him."

* * *

**A few days later**

Reid smiled as he opened the gifts Emily had brought him from London. She had given him a Tardis key ring, a union jack piggy bank, a Paddington bear and a union jack cuff bracelet. He loved all of it, especially the key ring. He knew Garcia had to go to work and she had assured him that she would be home as soon as she could. She had given him a pager which she paged every hour to tell him she was okay.

Emily put the bracelet over his wrist. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," he smiled. "Do you like London?"

"I do," she smiled. "I miss being here and London is very different but it gave me a fresh start. I miss my family here a lot. I miss you."

"I'm sorry about everything you went through with Michaels. I didn't know he would go after you. He hurt and murdered so many people to get to me."

"None of that," she said as she lifted his chin. "He didn't hurt me. I'm sorry about what he did to you."

Her fingers trailed the two deepest scars on his face, she leaned forward and kissed them both. "Don't be ashamed of your scars, Reid. They show what you survived."

"What did I really survive?"

"Reid, I want you to take a trip with me tomorrow. I won't tell you where we are going but you need to go there. You need to face the truth."

**Please review**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Things change dramatically in this chapter and I am really nervous about this chapter. Seriously nervous. I'd love to know what you think to put my nerves at rest. I hope you enjoy it and I just want to say that all you readers rock.  
**

**Thank you again for all the reviews, you are so great and absolutely stella. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid felt nervous as he watched the trees go by. Emily was taking him somewhere and he didn't know where. She pulled up on the side of the road and turned off the engine. "Reid, we have to walk a little. Is that okay?"

He nodded and took off his seatbelt. She held his hand as they walked up a little dirt path. The path looked familiar but his mind couldn't remember why. It was only when they reached the end of the path did he remember. He shook and took a step back. "N-Not here. Why did you bring me here?"

This was where Michaels had killed his parents, the same place he'd been brought to and tortured with the coffin, knife and dogs.

"I brought you here because you need to face what happened to you. None of the team want to push you more than they think you can handle but you have to push at that boundary. I know that you are like this because of the horrors that you saw. You watched your mother and father die in the most horrific way and I know you think that it is your fault. It isn't. You are safe now and he can't hurt you. This place can't hurt you."

Reid broke down into tears. He collapsed to the ground and tried to breathe. Emily rushed to him and rubbed soothing circles on his back. "Breathe, Spencer. I'm here. I just need you to breathe."

"It wasn't my fault," he gasped. "I tried, I really did. I couldn't save them because he didn't let me."

She watched as he got to his feet and dropped his bear to the ground. He grabbed a rock after rock and began to throw it at the building that had caused him so much pain.

"YOU. TOOK. EVERYTHING. FROM. ME."

He followed each word with another rock. He fell to his knees and let out an almost primal scream. "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Emily stayed back and let him release his anger. This is what he needed. She had watched the rest of the team and knew they had tried to keep him from this. They had tried to keep him from the place where the source of all the pain really came from. She had seen the crime scene photos. The bodies of William and Diana Reid, both headless and practically ripped apart. The dogs had gotten put down and the scene cleared. She wasn't protecting him from the truth because that is what he needed. He needed to face the truth and now he was.

He slowly got to his feet and made his way into the building. He stopped before the doors and looked back to her. She came up next to him and held his hand. "Just remember, you are safe and he is in prison."

She led him into the building.

* * *

Reid walked into the building, his mind clearer than it had been in a long time. The fog filled with fear disappearing and being replaced by the clarity that anger brought. For so long, he'd been afraid of the memories, afraid that everyone had lied to him about it not being his fault. He remembered his mother's tears as she was hung upside down and he remembered his own as he watched her die. He had not killed her or his father. Michaels had killed them.

His mind flashed back to that night.

_"I'm so sorry, son," William cried as he push the needle through Reid's lip and into the other. Reid let out a small keen for a second at the needle being put through his lips. He felt blood leaking from them. He just wanted to tell his dad that it was okay. William turned and looked at Michaels. "Why are you making me do this?"_

_"I like watching you suffer and silencing him gives me great pleasure. You will die without hearing the words you want to hear from him. I love you, dad, and goodbye. He won't ever get to say goodbye to you. Just like I never got to say to my father."_

* * *

_Reid struggled against the restraints as he watched Michaels beat his father with the bat over and over. William coughed up a long string of blood and moaned at the pain. He didn't hear his father beg for the man to stop, he only heard him beg to let his son go._

_"Taste of your own medicine," Michaels said before smashing the bat into William's back twice. A crack was heard causing Reid to thrash violently in his restraints. He let out muffled curses but still couldn't escape._

_"P-Please," William gurgled as blood leaked out his lips. "L-Let him g-go. D-Don't hurt h-him. Please."_

_"You are pleading for something that is never gonna happen," Michaels smirked._

* * *

_They were alone for the first time since being brought here. William couldn't move. There was blood everywhere and his father's left leg and right arm were at awkward angles._

_"Don't t-think this is y-your fault. We did w-what we did b-because we love y-you and we didn't w-want to find y-you like Lou found Riley. I w-want you to know t-that I was a-always proud of y-you. You are stronger t-than me. You looked a-after your mother when I couldn't. You grew into an in-independent man," William said before his breathing hitched and he let out a moan. "D-Don't be afraid of him and t-try not to show h-him fear. That is w-what he wants. Your mother loved you and so do I. Don't be scared. Y-You remember the song your mom used to hum to you, when y-you were little. She used to hum it to you when you got s-scared. It was a sonata. I w-want you to h-hum it now. I don't want y-you to feel scared. Go on."_

_Reid closed his eyes, letting the tears fall. He began to hum the sonata his mother had hummed to him when he was little._

_"T-There you go," William smiled through all the pain. "J-Just keep d-doing that."_

* * *

_None of his muffled pleas worked as he watched his father's head get pinned to the floor by a foot. His eyes widened as he saw the machete, its edge sharp and the blade dirty with his mother's blood. His father looked at him through all the blood that leaked into his eyes. "D-Don't be scared, Spencer. Be b-brave and I'll t-take care of y-your mother o-on the other side. I-I love y-you, son."_

_He tried to say I love you back but it didn't come out._

_"Oh, how fucking sweet," Michaels said before he brought the machete down and cut off his father's head._

_He screamed._

* * *

He ripped out of the memories when Emily shook him. "Reid, you're humming."

"I've been afraid to hum that sonata since that night because I thought it was my fault they died. I was afraid to hum because my mind associated it with the horror I saw and I thought if I hummed, more people would die. Dad told me to hum it so I wouldn't be scared," Reid said before he let out a small sob. "He didn't want me to think it was my fault. It wasn't my fault, was it?"

Emily shook her head and hugged her arm around him. "It wasn't your fault and deep down, you have known for a long time that their deaths were not your fault. They loved you and they would be happy to know that you are alive. Your dad didn't want you to be scared because he wanted to comfort you in his last moments. No matter what happened during your childhood and life between you two, he wanted you to know that you meant everything to him. I brought you here because you can't hide from the pain or the truth because, the truth will set you free. I know that sounds corny but it truly does. The team was hiding you away from what actually happened to you. Your dreams were trying to show you what you needed to see. You needed to see the pain to realise that Michaels did this to you. He took them away from you."

"I want him to die after what he did to them and to me. He made me into this. I haven't been able to think straight since that night. I thought hiding inside was better. I thought it would help. Instead, it made me a puppet to other people and made me act like a child."

"Reid, you know that regression is not unusual when the person has seen things so horrific that they can't face the truth about them. You won't be the same for a very long time but it is damn good to see you like this again. You aren't hiding anymore."

"No, I'm not," Reid said angrily. "Michaels will once I'm through with him. Prison or no prison, I'm going to show him that he failed. That is worse than any torture I could ever administer. Thank you for bringing me here. You made me face the truth. You're right about not being the same again but I'm not hiding anymore. I'm not going to let him win."

He walked out of the building and picked up the teddy bear. He stared at it before handing it to Emily. "I'm not giving it up completely but I don't need it anymore. My mind isn't going anywhere again."

**Please review**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm so happy that you like the last chapter. Don't worry, LaRieNGuBleR. He is far from recovered but he is choosing to no longer hide in the back of his mind. He is choosing to face things but that doesn't mean he is going to face them in the best way. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I will be updating Connection over the weekend and posting a new one shot if I have time. Enjoy!  
**

**I didn't update yesterday as I felt a little burned out. I was trying to write yesterday and it just came out really bad so I gave myself a day to refresh my mind. I hope you all don't mind but it was for the benefit of my writing. I hate putting out something half arsed and terrible. Sorry for not updating.**

**I just want to say a big thank you to oflappergirlo as she did the wonderful story cover for this fanfic. Give her a big thank you everyone, she deserves it.**

**Thank you again for all the reviews, you're brilliant and wonderful. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid put on some clothes by himself. He sat down on the bed and knew he had to tread carefully on the journey he had to take to start recovering from his ordeal. For a long time, he had trapped the logical part of his brain inside a cage built with fear and the need for safety. Since the night he had watched his parents die, he had not felt the same. Till Emily had taken him to the warehouse, he had depended on everyone else and pushed back the pain and grief as much as he could. He had regressed to an almost child-like state because of the trauma he had gone through. He looked at the mirror and saw an echo of the man that he used to be. His hair was a little shaggy, he had lost a little weight and he didn't have the same spark in his eyes as before. He looked around and noticed that his room was bare of anything that he could use to hurt himself. No sharp objects, no long lengths of rope. He didn't blame any of them. He felt idiotic for acting the way he had but he had seen it happen to victims they had rescued in the past. They had been unable to handle the things that had happened to them.

He listened as Hotch, Garcia and Morgan came into the house. He could hear them talking. He slowly got up from the bed and made his way down the stairs. He was wearing jeans, a jacket and a top. He walked to the living room.

Garcia noticed him and immediately frowned. "Reid, are you okay?"

"Emily showed me that it wasn't my fault and she made me face the fear and anger I feel. I'm angry at Michaels. He killed them and made me watch while he did it. He traumatized me to the stage I acted like a child. I want him to know that I'm alive and I'm not afraid of him. He should be afraid of me. He cut me and laughed while he did it. I'm not the man I was, I'm nowhere near that. I'm just not hiding anymore."

They all felt shock at his sudden change. They had expected to come home and find him watching a cartoon with the teddy bear in his arms.

"What do you mean? How did she make you face the fear and anger?" Morgan questioned.

"She took me back to the factory where he killed my parents and where he tortured me."

"She did what!" Hotch fumed. "Where is she?"

"She's in the garden."

Hotch began to march to the garden when Reid stood in front of him. "Don't you dare."

"Reid, she had no right to do that. She's supposed to take care of you and instead, she took you to the one place in the world that you should never see again."

"She did what I needed," Reid said. "I regressed and I hid the most logical part of my brain away from the pain and grief. My heart's broken and I doubt it will ever get fixed. I feel better within my mind. I'm not hiding from Kevin or from what really happened. I know they are dead and they are never coming back. I have to live with the memories that I remember with perfect clarity, for the rest of my life. She did the right thing. I have questions and you are going to answer them. I couldn't bring them forward before but I have them now. I want answers."

Hotch stepped back from the doorway and sat on the chair, in the corner. Garcia and Morgan sat on the couch but Reid remained standing.

"What happened to their bodies?" Reid asked, a demanding sliver in his voice. They remained silent, this only made the anger inside of him build. "I said, what happened to their bodies?"

"Reid, there wasn't much left of them when we found their bodies at the warehouse. Kevin had fed them to his dogs. We buried them, Reid. We didn't tell you because you weren't capable of hearing that they'd been buried yet. We found more remains of your father, than your mother."

He clenched his fist as he listened to the details. He struggled to keep control but he had to. He had to know.

"What about Kevin? I don't much about the case or his trial."

"His trial hasn't started yet. It starts from next week. He's been detained in prison since his release from the hospital. He won't regain full function of the hand that you stabbed. You won't have to testify or present at the trial. There are videos of everything. Your parent's murders and the torture he put you through. I spoke with the prosecutor and he is aiming to get the death sentence."

"No," Reid said quickly. "No death sentence."

"He deserves to fry after what he did to you," Morgan spoke up.

"He deserves to rot in prison and live the rest of his like knowing that he failed in turning me into a drooling mess. I'm going to go to that court room and smile as he walks in. He'll see that he didn't break me!"

"No," Garcia shook her head. "You can't go to that court room. You may think you want to and that you are all ready but you have no idea what it might do to you."

"I'm going and none of you can stop me."

"You're still under our care. You can't go anywhere alone. It's the order I have. You would have to talk to the doctor to even get removed from our care. I'm still responsible for you. I decided whether you go or not."

Reid glared at Hotch. "I'm going, Aaron. Don't try to hold me back. I have no mercy, compassion or love for the world. I'm not afraid to break rules. You watch your mother and father get killed and then soak in their blood. See how you feel."

"They will show footage of everything," Garcia said. "You don't want to watch that again."

"I watch it every second as it loops around my eidetic memory. I hear myself cry and I hear my mother cry as he hangs her upside down. It's like a movie except I know it isn't. It's just the horrifying truth. Have you watched the tapes?"

"We haven't," Morgan said as he looked at Garcia. "Hotch has though. He had to. He needed to provide evidence for the prosecution."

Reid looked to Hotch. "In my his last moments, my father tried to make sure that I wasn't afraid. In that moment, I forgave him for everything. He was just as scared as I was but he tried to comfort me. You have no idea what it is like to see your father bloody and beaten on the floor, coughing up blood but still smiling because you are humming a song that helps you feel less afraid. Michael cut off his head and laughed. I will go into that court and look into his eyes. I want him to know that no matter how many scars he gave me, I'm still here and I'm not going to let him forget it."

"I'm still saying no," Hotch said calmly.

"We'll see," Reid shrugged before walking out of the room.

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?" Morgan shouted at Emily. "You had no idea what that could have done to him. What even happened out there? When we left, he was still like a child and now, he just seems empty."

"What do you mean empty?"

"He doesn't seem to have a trace of either his child like tendencies or his own personality. He is cold and angry. He has one goal and that is to go to that courtroom next week. I don't think his intentions are so simple. Don't get off the subject. What happened out there?"

"He broke down and cried for a minute before he just exploded with anger. He realised it wasn't his fault and then just started grabbing rock after rock and throwing it at the building. He collapsed to his knees and let out a loud long scream. In that moment, I think everything just came out. He got to his feet and made his way to inside. He stopped before the doors and I helped him walk in. He walked in and he just zoned out for a minute and then he also started humming this song. He said it was Sonata. He came back in that one moment. He realised the truth and he let the part of himself that had been afraid, come out and face everything. You were all trying to protect him so much from what happened and it wasn't helping. I made him face the place where it happened. He still isn't his old self and I doubt he ever will become our Reid again. However, he is back to some degree. It's a step in his recovery. Why are you questioning his intentions?"

"Let's put it this way," Morgan sighed. "If he does go to that court room, we need to make sure he doesn't trying anything stupid. Just don't let him near any guns."

"You really think he would try that," Emily said.

"At the moment, I have no idea what he would do and that scares me."

* * *

Reid washed his face in the bathroom, his mind brought forth echoes of the time at the warehouse. It brought forth a moment he had not remembered before.

_'Enjoy the dark, Spencer," Michaels smiled as he closed Reid's eyes and began to sew it shut._

Reid looked up at the mirror and saw Michaels laughing at him. He brought his fist forward and punched the mirror. He ignored the cuts to his knuckles and watched the blood as it trickled down his fingers. "You won't laugh for long, you son of a bitch."

**Please review**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I wasn't ill the other day when I didn't update, it was literally just to refresh my mind. One in a while, a rare once in a while, I hit a brick wall when it comes to writing. I needed a day to just rearrange the things in my head and it worked. Enjoy the chapter and I'd love to know what you think.  
**

**Thank you for the reviews, you are wonderful and I just want to bake you all a pie. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid strapped up his hand after plucking the glass out of his hand. He heard knocking on the door and calls from Morgan. He kicked the door. "I'll come in a minute."

Morgan's voice stopped and so did the knocking. He walked out of the bathroom, past Morgan and down the stairs. Garcia got up and took his hand. "What did you do to your hand?"

"He punched the mirror," Morgan sighed as came down the stairs. "Reid, you need to calm down. Hurting yourself is not going to help you. Look, I know you are angry and you want to show Kevin Michaels how much he failed but you are not in your right mind. You are still traumatized and you won't admit it. You are letting out all the anger that you kept inside. You can't channel it properly."

"Not in my right mind!" Reid snapped before pushing Morgan. "You think I'm crazy? Maybe, we should go and get Michaels from prison, give him a machete and let him cut off my head then. I'm not crazy!"

"I never said you were," Morgan shouted. "You've gone through something horrible and you can't process everything like you used to. I know you want to act like everything is fine and that you can handle seeing that man but I can't let you go to that court room, pretty boy."

Reid grabbed Morgan and shoved him against the wall. "STOP CALLING ME THAT! Do I look pretty to you?! I look like a fucking monster because of what he did to me. You weren't there when he carved into my face or when he locked me in that coffin. You didn't save me when he put me in that cage and let the dogs try to get me. None of you were there! You didn't save my parents and you didn't save me. I saved myself!"

Hotch came forward and grabbed Reid. He pulled him back.

"You're angry at us, aren't you?" Garcia said as she stepped away from him.

"You are," Morgan said. "You blame us for not being there for you. Why didn't you tell us before?"

"I blocked that anger out. It's true, I saved myself the second time he had me. I got the knife and I stabbed him. He was going to throw me down a well and leave me there in the cold. I stabbed him and I ran away. You only found me, you didn't save me. I limped away from that place without your help."

Hotch didn't release his grip on Reid.

"We were on our way," Morgan tried to defend. "We had no way of finding you until Emily's mind was clear. Michaels drugged her with a powerful sedative which took time to get out of her system. As soon as we had your location, we rushed to find you. We had no way of knowing that he had your parents before. You know it isn't right to feel angry at us. We did everything that we could."

"He could have done anything during the time it took you from getting the location and making your way to that place. I laid on the side of the road and cried for a long time. I thought I was going to die on the side of the road and you want to know the funny thing. I actually hoped I would because I'd be with my mom and dad. I don't think I deserve to be alive when they are dead. I've done horrible things in my life while my mom and dad didn't do anything wrong. They helped take care of Gary all that time ago to save my life. I know my dad wasn't the best dad in the world but I know that he never stopped caring about me. At that warehouse, he just wanted to make sure I was okay. He told me to be brave just before his head got cut off. I felt some of his blood hit me when it happened. I used to take drugs while on the job, I get people killed just by knowing them and I fail at every turn in my life. I'm the bad one. My mom and dad were the good ones and they got killed. All because I stayed alive when I was four. I should have been the one to die."

Garcia stormed forward and slapped Reid around the face.

"How dare you say that!" she yelled at him.

Morgan tried to pull her back but she pushed his hands away.

"Your mother and father loved you and they did what they did when you were four to save your life. You don't ever say that you hope to die. That is no way to repay them! You are not a bad person. You got addicted to drugs because they got forced on you by Tobias Hankel. Maeve's death was not your fault and you know that. You call saving people everyday a failure. You call getting away from Michaels a failure. You do not fail at every turn in your life. You are not a bad person, you're a beautiful and wonderful person. Your mother and father would want you to live your life and try to live it normally. You are right, your father never stopped caring about you. He wanted you to know how much he loved you right up until his last breath. You are insulting their memory by saying that you should have died. Gary was a sadistic and perverted son of a bitch. He deserved to die and his son deserves to spend the rest of his life rotting after what he did to you. Don't ever say you want to die again! Your parents don't want to see you till it is your time and I hope to god that isn't for many more decades."

Reid stayed silent as he listened to Garcia. She stepped forward and touched his red cheek. "I'm sorry I slapped you but you weren't talking or thinking straight. I couldn't stand back and watch you talk like that."

She stepped back and took a deep breath. "I need some air."

Morgan followed her as she left the house and began to walk down the street.

Hotch gently placed Reid down on the sofa. "Are you okay?"

"What do you think?" Reid said before gritting his jaw. "Now my family likes hitting me."

**Please review**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm also posting a new fanfic tonight. It was supposed to be a one shot but I have decided to make it into a full-blown fanfic. I'm posting it straight after this update. It's called Cleansing the Evil. I would love for you all to check it out and yes, it features my speciality of Reid whump. Enjoy!  
**

**Thank you for the reviews, you are awesome and I send you all virtual cookies. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid had locked himself in his room, he didn't want to talk to any of them. Garcia's words had hit him but they had not stopped the anger or the feeling of self loathing he had for himself. He took off his shirt and jumped in the shower. He still felt dirty. He wanted the blood to disappear but it never seemed to go away, no matter how hard he scrubbed. He took off his boxers and began to scrub his entire body with soap. This was his third shower of the day so far. He made it quick and got out once he felt clean. He grabbed a towel and dried his body and hair. He put on fresh clothes but kept his hair wet. He hated being in the house. Emily was downstairs talking with the others. He had no doubt that they were talking about him.

They had no right to talk about him all the time. He wanted to go home. His eyes wandered to the window and he began to form a plan.

* * *

**Two hours later**

Emily and Morgan knocked on the door and waiting for a response. "Reid, it's Emily. We need to talk to you."

Morgan began to feel frustrated when they didn't hear anything. He grabbed a key from a nearby draw and unlocked the door. He opened it and they both felt panic as they saw an empty bed and an open window.

"Get Garcia, now," Morgan said quickly.

* * *

Reid settled on the plane and was thankful that he had managed to get a ticket and board the plane without any problems. He had raced back to his apartment and grabbed his passport and wallet, two items that had not left his apartment since his attack before coming to the airport. The plane took off and he looked forward to going home.

* * *

**Six hours later**

He stood in front of his old home and smiled. He was aware that the team had probably tracked his cards by now but he didn't care. He was here now. He walked forward and took out the key he had brought with him from his wallet. He opened the door and walked into the house he had called home during his childhood. He had never been able to let go of it and almost all of his mother's things were still in the house. He walked in and closed the door. There wasn't any power to the house and it was getting dark. He went into the front room and pulled some candles from a draw. He could never forget how he had left the home. It was a little dusty, he only had a cleaning crew in every three months. It was a permanent contract with the company. His old neighbour, Mr Gregson, always kept an eye on his old home and called if he needed anything. He kept hold of the house and everything in it because he didn't have the heart to let it go. He had always hoped that his mother would find a medication that really helped her. Hell, he had hoped a cure would be found during his mother's lifetime. None of that was ever going to happen again. He found some matches and lit the candles.

He placed them around the room and loved how they lit the room. He sat on his mother's old chair, the same chair she had sat on for hours and written in her notebooks. He leaned against it and felt warm tears come down his face.

He was home but his mother never would come home. She was lost, forever. So was his father.

* * *

Hotch, Emily, Morgan and JJ pulled up to the house. It was dark but they could see a yellow glow coming from under the curtains. They had been right, this was where Reid had run to. Garcia was still in Quantico, dealing with a technical problem at work. They all left the car and made their way to the front door. It was open and they walked in.

Morgan walked into the living room to find Reid in the middle of the floor with books and boxes surrounding him. He noticed the chill in the air and saw no blanket around Reid.

"Emily, can you get a blanket? He's shivering," Morgan asked. Emily nodded and went to search for a blanket. JJ crept forward and sat in front of him. He ignored her presence and continued to go through the box. He picked up a photo album and opened it. It was a wedding album. Gently, JJ put her hand under his chin and lifted his head.

"Spencer, it's JJ."

"My mom was beautiful the day she got married," Reid said numbly before turning the photo album around. "Look."

JJ looked down and saw a young Diana and William Reid on their wedding day. Diana was a beautiful woman in the photo, her hair was longer and the white dress she was wearing showed off her figure. William was also handsome in the photo too.

"She's beautiful," JJ smiled. "Spence, why did you run away like that?"

"Needed to go home," he said simply.

Emily walked past Hotch and Morgan with a small blanket, she wrapped it around Reid. He didn't reject her touch but he didn't seem too happy about it either.

"Reid, what you did was reckless? You could have been hurt," Hotch scolded.

"I'm a grown man, I can do what I want and what I want is to be left alone," Reid said quietly. "I want to stay here with all her things. She touched all of this and she put her heart and soul into all her notebooks."

He pulled another box closer and took out her notebooks. "These are her words. I have to read them. Just go away and leave me alone. You like hitting me and putting me in mental hospitals. I don't want your help. You think you are helping me but you aren't! You stop me from making my own decisions when I need to make them. I want to stay here, at least, for the night. Why won't you leave me alone?"

"We're your family, Reid," Hotch answered.

"NO! YOU ARE NOT MY FAMILY!" Reid shouted. "My family is dead. You are not my blood. My mother and father were my family and they are gone now. Stop pretending you are my family because you aren't. This is my home. It isn't with any of you."

**Please review**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this. The next chapter will feature the trial and while I have a way to go in my head, I wondered what you wanted to happen. I apologise for the short chapter but I've been kicked out of bed and onto the floor, which is not comfortable. My mother has come into my room, nicked my bed because she's had a nightmare. It's weird, it is just weird. Anyway to the chapter! Forward march!  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you are just wonderful and I appreciate every review. Thank you.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Emily kept watch over Reid as he slept. He had fallen asleep on his mother's books and she had put a folded blanket underneath his head while he slept. She stroked his hair and felt conflicted over what she had done. Had she really done the right thing taking him to that warehouse? In his child-like state, he had retained some form of ignorant bliss. He had been able to control his anger better and he had not felt the full blow on his parent's death. He had not done reckless things like sneaking away and flying to Vegas. She still felt the sting from his words. She knew deep down that he had not meant them but they were hard to ignore. She considered him family and all she wanted to do was make him better. Pulling up the blanket, she sighed and laid down next to him. She stroked his cheek. "We will never stop being your family."

* * *

Morgan, Hotch and JJ stood in the kitchen, each with a coffee that JJ had gone out and collected.

"He can't stay here," Hotch sighed. "We need to get him back to Virginia and try get him to calm down. He can't deal with the grief properly. What makes it worse is that he remembers everything with perfect detail and he won't ever forget what he saw."

"He needs professional help," JJ said.

"No," Morgan almost shouted. "We are not sending him to another mental facility. The last one just drugged him, put him in his room or left him in the day room. He hallucinated in there. They almost killed him when they gave him an overdose of medication. How can you even consider that, JJ?"

"I didn't mean that kind of help. I meant getting him to see a counsellor that could help him deal with what he saw and what he is feeling. I think we should let him go to the courthouse next week too."

"I don't think that is a good idea," Hotch disagreed.

"Maybe it is," JJ said. "It could go one of two ways. Yes, Reid could lose control of his anger but all we would have to do is remove him from the court. He could also see Michaels for what he is now. A man in chains and going to a place where he will rot for the rest of his life. Seeing that Michaels can't hurt anyone else might help him get through some of the anger. Morgan, you should go with him. You're the strongest out of us all and you could handle him if anything happened. Also, if we tell him he can go to court next week, he may come back to Virginia more peacefully."

"I don't like it but you have a point," Hotch said before taking a sip of his coffee. "He can go next week but Morgan, you are going with him. I'll come too. The moment he loses control. You grab him and get him out that room. I'll tell him what is going to happen when he wakes up. For now, find a place to sleep."

* * *

Reid let his mind take him into his dreams. No, his nightmares.

_He screamed and screamed as he failed to escape from the coffin. He didn't want to die here. He wanted his team to save him. He turned to his side and screamed again as he thought he saw his father's rotting head next to him. His eyes widened as the mouth on the head moved. "Come to us, Spencer."_

_He cried and turned away. "NOT REAL! NOT REAL! NOT REAL!"_

* * *

_He felt his skin rip open as the blade cut into his face again. He couldn't stop the tears from coming down his face. He couldn't tell what was dripping down his chin and to his shirt. He couldn't tell if it was blood or tears. He let out a high keen as Michaels cut his stomach._

_"S-Stop!" he cried. "Why won't y-you just s-stop?"_

_"I like carving into your skin. Have you ever heard of the books of blood, Spencer? They are about stories carved into a man's skin. Each one of the cuts I give you tells a story. The cuts on your cheeks are to tell the story of how you failed to save mommy and daddy. You'll have a cut to tell the story of my pain as I go through life without a father. You'll have so many stories by the time I'm finished with you."_

_"J-Just kill m-me. T-Take your r-revenge. JUST KILL ME!" Reid sobbed as looked at Michaels._

_"Why would I do that so soon?" he smiled at him. "I don't want to reunite you with your mom and dad so soon. I don't want you to feel the comfort of Miss Garcia in the afterlife. I want you to suffer."_

_Reid cried out and screamed as another long jagged cut got sliced down his chest._

* * *

Reid woke up to find the others above him. "Oh, thank god," Emily said.

He slowly got up and saw worry in their eyes. "Why are you all staring at me?"

"You've been screaming in your sleep for the last two minutes. We couldn't wake you up. Are you okay?"

"He didn't kill me," Reid said as he stumbled to his feet. "That is his greatest failure, he didn't kill me. Even when I begged him to."

"Spence, what are you talking about?" JJ asked.

"When he was cutting me and all I could feel was blood dripping off my face, I begged him to just kill me. He wanted to cause me more pain but he didn't kill me in the end."

"Why would you beg him to kill you?" she asked.

"You try having a knife slice into you, over and over and over. By that stage, I just wanted to die. He was the only solution to that dilemma. I wanted to die because I was starting to break. I want to see him and let him know that he failed to break me. I want to walk in there when they hand him his sentence and smile."

"Fine," Hotch said. "You can go but you have to come with us back to Virginia peacefully."

"I need some of my mother's things," Reid said. "I can't go without them."

"We'll help you get them," JJ assured him. "We'll always help you when you need us."

**Please review**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I am updating Connection tomorrow, which is the last chapter of that fanfic and then the sequel will go up not long after that. Enjoy, my wonderkins!  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, they are what keep me going! Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat in his bed, reading through his mother's journals. It comforted him to read through them, absorbing every word and hearing her voice inside his mind as he read them. She had always had a mother's voice. The kind of voice that soothed you and made you smile. He kept finding pictures of her and his younger self in the pages. His favourite was the one of his mother sat in her rocking chair on the porch, the sun was shining behind her and she was smiling. She looked like an angel in the photo. He was back at Morgan's house in his room. He had come back peacefully but had filled a bag to the brim with things that had belonged to his mother. Her favourite books, her treasured jewellery box that contained heirlooms that he knew she would not want lost. He had taken some notebooks and family albums. One of the most important things in the bag had not come from his mother but his father. It was a baseball. While he had never fully embraced the sport, his father had given him the baseball on his sixth birthday. He felt slightly upset that he didn't have much left from his father. As a teenager, when things had gotten bad with his mother and his illness, he had destroyed and burned things that reminded him of his father.

All that rage he had felt for so long didn't matter. He just missed him so much and hated that they had never had a good relationship with each other. He put the notebook down and picked up a family album.

He looked up as his door opened after someone knocked on it. Garcia came in with two cups. Reid immediately smelled the aroma of coffee as it filled the air. "Can I come in?" she asked.

He nodded and watched as she put his cup of coffee on the bedside table. She sat down next to him on the bed but didn't look him in the eyes.

"Reid, I'm sorry that I hit you. I just couldn't bear to hear you talk like that. You were just spiralling and I panicked. I'm sorry, please forgive me."

He let out a sigh before looking at her. "It's okay. I think I needed it. Things are just difficult. I don't know what to do with the anger that I'm feeling and I still can't control the nightmares or the feelings that they bring. I just miss them so damn much."

Garcia put her arm around him. "You seem calmer today."

"Thank my mom for that," he said before looking at the box. "I've read her notebooks and there are so many quotes about love and being a mother. There are some pages where her mind wasn't in the right place but not all the time. I found a few pages about me. She said I was miracle to her and she went on about how innocent and wonderful life became when I was born. I loved both my parents and I hate that I'll never see them again. Garcia, I want to ask you something but you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. How did you deal with losing your parents?"

Garcia seemed taken aback by the question but gathered herself again. "I didn't handle it well. I spiralled and I tried to run away from everything. I became a hacker because it seemed the only thing that made sense in my life. I couldn't understand why they'd been taken from me. My mother was beautiful and she supported me no matter what I was going through. My dad always used to make me laugh and he told me that as long as the world had love, it would survive. When I lost them, it broke my heart and it broke me. I worked through the grief with some help from friends and I realised that it was better to remember the good times and celebrate their life. It's better to celebrate a life, than to mourn it."

"Reid, you watched them die and I have no idea what that is like. All I know is that your mother and father loved you and that they would want you to remember the good times with them, rather than the night they died. No-one expects you to get through this quickly or without problems. You are making progress and that is the important thing."

Reid felt a tear come down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away and tried to calm himself again. He was struggling at that task.

"I don't know how to do this," he admitted. "I loved Maeve and I lost her. I loved my parents and they are lost to me. I feel like everything I love dies. I'm afraid of losing you all next."

"You won't lose us," she assured him gently. "We are tougher than we look and I don't plan on going anywhere soon. Do you still want to go to that courthouse next week? You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You're still fragile and I don't want one moment to unravel the progress you've made."

"I need to go," he shook his head. "I need to face him."

Garcia kissed his forehead before deciding to get him off the subject of the trial. "What do you have there?"

He opened up the photo album to show a picture of his mother at the hospital on the day he was born. It was a close up of her and him as a newborn.

"Oh," Garcia grinned. "You look so cute. Spencer Reid, before the world knew his magic tricks."

* * *

Morgan, Reid and Hotch sat in the court. Hotch and Morgan were on either side of Reid, ready to pull him out if something happened. Everyone rose as the judge came into the room. They sat back down. A door to the court opened and Kevin Michaels got led through it, his hands and ankles in chains, an orange jump suit his attire for the trial. An explosion of anger erupted in his heart as his eyes met with Kevin's. There was a moment where both could almost see into the other's mind. Kevin smiled before he got put around and forced to face the judge.

Reid barely listened as the judge spoke. All he could hear was the pounding of his own heart. Morgan took his hand. Reid squeezed it as much as he could to try to channel the anger. He even saw Morgan wince.

"I will now hear all evidence to be put forward," the judge said.

Kevin turned around and grinned at Reid. "Do they have your whore mother's head?"

Morgan half expected Reid to pounce but to his surprise, Reid stayed put. He smiled back at Kevin and brought up his hand, he clenched it and taunted Kevin at the use of his hand.

"He is not winning this time," Reid said quietly to Morgan.

**Please review**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm glad that you like the last chapter but not all things were meant to last. I would love to know what you think. I loved writing the part at the end with Reid and Morgan, I don't why but I just liked doing it. Enjoy!  
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**Thank you for the reviews, you are brilliant and fantastic. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid didn't really pay attention to the court proceedings. The judge had warned Michaels not to interact with him again or he would be barred from speaking again. The prosecution had begun and the judge listened to medical reports. The prosecutor also spoke about his parents with great love and how hard their deaths had been on Spencer. He looked up now and then and noticed the jury giving him looks of sympathy. He didn't like the looks but he understood why they were happening. Michaels kept trying to look at him but a guard was now stationed between them.

Reid felt dread in his heart as the videos of that night began to play for the jury. He brought up every ounce of courage he had and looked to the screen. He watched himself being dragged into the warehouse and chained to the wall. He rubbed his wrists as he thought about the padded cuffs that had held him. He felt himself begin to crumble slightly as he heard his mother's voice begging. It sounded different when it came from the video, it sounded more real. Morgan noticed that he was beginning to struggle. "You want to go?" he whispered.

"No," Reid said back. He looked back to the video. He flinched as the metallic sound of the wire that held his mother upside down got pulled. His mother was crying and scared. He clenched his eyes shut as he heard his mother die. Tears leaked down his cheeks. Morgan put his arm around him and comforted him. He blocked out the rest of the video. At least, until he heard his father talking on the video. The jury watched a father try to comfort his scared son. Reid knew he was beginning to break. All the courage he had summoned at the beginning of the trial was gone. He shouldn't have come. He had wanted to prove a point to the man who had murdered his mother and father but he was struggling.

His eyes widened as he watched Michaels pin his father's head to the floor on the screen. He clenched his eyes shut as he heard his muffled scream as his father got killed. He opened his eyes to see Michaels looking around the guard.

"I love you too, Spencer," Michaels said as he mocked William Reid's last words to his son. Reid lunged out his seat and tried to get to Michaels. Morgan grabbed him around the waist immediately and began to drag him out of the court.

"I hope you suffer!" Reid screamed at Michaels. "Your father is burning in hell and he was nothing but a fucking bastard!"

Morgan wrestled him out of the door and out of the court. Reid didn't stop struggling until they reached the bathroom. Morgan locked the door and let Reid go.

"Reid, he will pay for what he has done."

Reid let out a small yell before he smashed his hand against the wall. The bathroom was empty apart from them. Morgan stayed back and felt his heart ache as he watched his best friend collapse against the wall and slide down to the floor in tears.

"I-I want them back," he cried. "I want them back."

Morgan walked over to Reid and sat next to him. He put his arms around him and held his friend as he cried. "I know, Reid."

"I don't deserve this," Reid cried. "I haven't done anything wrong in my life and I tried to look after my mom as much as I could. Why did he do it? His father deserved to die. Mine didn't. I want them back."

"Shhh..." Morgan soothed gently. He didn't know what else he could do apart from comfort Reid. Watching the video himself had horrified him. He had watched everything up until the point that William Reid had died. He had seen his friend break in the video. Each disgusting thing that Michaels did on the video made him feel sick.

"I don't know how to do this," Reid sobbed. "I've lost them and I can never see them again. I'll never send another letter to my mother or get a response from her. I just want to hear her voice again."

Morgan came out of the hug and grabbed some tissue. He gave it to Reid and sat against the wall.

"Reid, when I lost my dad, it was one of the most difficult things in my life I had to deal with. I know it isn't the same as you losing your parents but I know how much pain losing a parent can cause. I went on a path of self-destruction when I lost him and it breaks my heart to see you like this. You are falling apart and I feel like there is nothing I can do to bring you back from the edge of your own path of self-destruction. I don't want to walk into your bedroom one day and see you not moving or breathing. Every day that I wake up, I fear that I will get a call telling me that you are gone."

"Why? I'm not that important. I thought I was but I can't handle things since that night. There is like a fracture in my head and more pain is leaking through it. The part of me that wants to be myself again is losing."

"First of all, you are important. More important than you will ever know. There are people out there who wouldn't be here today if you had not caught the unsub after them. You are a hero, Spencer Reid. Not only to them, but to me as well. I look up to you because you have strength inside that I will never have. You fought against that son of a bitch and you trapped him in that well. You got free from him despite all the pain that you were in. You are so important and your parents knew that too. Remember that you are never alone. You still have a family around you. I am your big brother and I want my little brother to get better. You are never alone and you will always have people around that love you and want to protect you."

"You really look up to me?" Reid asked.

"Absolutely. I look up to you because you inspire me."

Reid let out a small laugh before wiping more tears from his eyes. "Thanks, Morgan."

Morgan put his arm around Reid and hugged him close again with one arm. "Anytime, little brother."

**Please review**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sorry to say but the recent few episodes of criminal minds have disappointed me personally.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you are wonderful and just the best. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid and Morgan didn't return to the court room. They were now at a park bench eating some food. Reid had to admit that he felt a little better after talking with Morgan but he didn't have the energy or emotional stability to go back into that courtroom. He munched on his fries and began to enjoy a full stomach. He hadn't been eating properly for the last few days and with each bite of the food he was eating, he felt a little better.

"It's nice to see you eating properly," Morgan smiled.

"I feel better after our talk and I think some of my appetite came back," Reid shrugged before he grabbed his drink and took a large gulp. "Thanks for calming me down back there. I just lost it."

"You had everything reason in the world to lose it. Being in that courtroom was a big step for you, don't forget that. You managed to stay in control for a long time and I'm proud of you for that. I know being in that room was one of the hardest things you have ever had to do. Again, kid. I'm sorry that you lost your mom and dad like that."

"I'll be honest. I don't think that I'll ever truly get over the pain of losing them but I want to get back to normal. I feel like I've been trapped in this hole and I've tried to get out but every time I try, I get pushed back in. I tried to hide inside my mind and while that protected me for a while, it was dangerous and stopped me from moving on. It's messed up a lot for me."

"Things that get mixed up, can always be fixed," Morgan said. "With some time, we can try bring some order back into your life."

"I hope so," Reid sighed. "So, to another issue. I need to talk about something else. How is my temp replacement doing?"

Morgan chewed slowly for a moment before straightening up. "We don't have a temp."

Reid dropped his french fry. "I'm not eating another bite until you tell me the truth. The bureau wouldn't keep my job open for this long. I know I still have it but I also know that a temporary agent must have stepped in during my absence."

Morgan sighed. "He is only filling in till you come back. He knows that and he understands what you are going through and why you need time away from the BAU. His name is Logan Truman. We didn't tell you because we didn't want to upset you."

"I'm not upset," Reid sighed. "It's the logical process of things and the BAU still needs to find and hunt unsubs. I'm just happy that they want me back when I'm better."

Morgan was surprised at Reid's response to finding out about Logan. It did show him that him that Reid was able to process change a little better. Reid picked up another french fry and chewed it.

"You eat like a rabbit," Morgan chuckled.

Reid threw one of the fries into Morgan's face and laughed. Morgan looked up. "Really, Reid? We are going there."

Morgan picked up a small chicken bite and threw it at Reid's face. He chuckled and clapped his hands as Reid caught the small chicken bite in his mouth and began to chew it. Reid grinned and felt happier than he had for a while. He liked his mind being away from the bad memories.

* * *

Hotch made his way across the grass at the park. Morgan had texted him where he had taken Reid. As he walked to them, he noticed Reid and Morgan playing a game on a phone. Reid laughed as they lost the game. He wondered what Morgan had done during the few hours the trial had gone on for.

"Hey," he said simply.

"How did everything go?" Morgan asked.

"After you took Reid from the court, they prevented Michaels from talking again. He began laughing and it was scaring some of the female Jury members. They watched the rest of the tapes, the ones with Reid. Long story short, he got life without any chance of parole. He will spend the rest of his life rotting in a high security prison. He wasn't giving the death sentence as the judge deemed it too easy for him. He wanted him to live with what he has done."

Morgan noticed that Reid had remained silent and kept playing the game on the phone. "Kid, are you okay?"

Reid nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm okay."

"How do you feel about the sentence?" Hotch questioned.

"He isn't going to die and he'll be locked away for the rest of his life. I didn't want him to get the death sentence because it was the easy way out for him. Prison isn't a nice place to go to and he will be there till he dies. I'm happy with the sentence. He can live the rest of his life knowing that I'm out here, alive, while he's trapped behind bars that he will never escape."

"Did I miss something while I was in that courtroom?" Hotch said as he looked at both of them. Reid had changed and seemed calmer since he'd been dragged from the court.

"We had a talk," Morgan smiled. "A good one. He knows about Logan."

"Oh."

"It's okay, Hotch. I understand you bringing in a temporary agent. The team needs help now that I'm gone for a while. I'm okay with it."

"What kind of talk did you have?"

"One where things got released and one where the truth came out," Morgan smiled.

Reid hit the table and pushed the phone to Morgan with a smile. "Completed it."

Morgan looked at the game on the phone. "Son of a-."

* * *

Reid sat in the backseat with the window down. He enjoyed the wind against his face and liked watching the sun as it began to set. He closed his eyes and let his mind go back.

_Reid sat on the front porch with his mother, they were both reading books with a cup of lemonade each. He was twelve years old. He turned each page, absorbing the words with only a glance. He looked up to see his mother smiling at him. "What?" he asked her._

_"You're such a special boy, Spencer," she smiled. "The day you came into this world, the day it was saved."_

_"I'm not that special, mom. I'm just me."_

_"You put yourself down," she shook her head. "Spencer, you have an incredible mind and a kind spirit. You are going to do such great things in the world. I don't want you to ever think you're not special. You are a gift to this world and more importantly, you are a gift to me."_

_He put down his book. "I hope my gift can help you get better."_

_She scooted closer to him and put her arm around him. "I don't get many days like this but I want you to know that my illness is not your responsibility. I want you to use your gifts for what you want to do."_

_"I want to help you get better. That's what I want."_

_He hugged her and felt her rest her head on his head. "I love you, mom. I just want you to get better."_

_"I love you too, Spencer. I just want you to be happy."_

**Please review**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I think someone may have slipped me some nice juice in my daily evil potion that I take to keep my Reid whump skills up to date. This is a nice chapter compared to the rest of this fanfic. I also just want to recommend the sequel to my joint fanfic with LaRieNGuBleR. The first complete one is Connection and the brand new sequel is Saving Blood. It's got the whump you all love. I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
**

**Thank you again for all the reviews. They were wonderful to wake up to this morning and you are all just the best.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid smiled as his godson, Henry, painted his face. He closed his eyes as Henry used face paint to cover his eyes. He had a good idea what was getting painted on his face and was wondering what he was going to paint on Henry's face.

"Done, Uncle Spence," Henry grinned at him. Reid held the mirror up and smiled at what Henry had painted on him. He had Batman's mask painted around his eyes. Impressed at how neatly he had done it.

"I love it, Henry," Reid chuckled before he lowered his voice. "I'm Batman."

Henry laughed at his godfather's Batman impression. "You're funny, Uncle Spence."

"My turn," Reid said as he picked up the face paint and a clean brush. "What do you want me to do?"

"You pick."

"How about Spider-man?"

Henry nodded enthusiastically and brushed some stray hair out of his eyes. Reid picked up the black paint and began to do the web outlines in black. He had many images of the Spider-man character stored in his mind. He enjoyed spending time with Henry and today was the first time he had felt confident enough to safely be around his godson. The others were in the garden talking and having drinks together. JJ felt comfortable leaving Reid alone with Henry. He planned to make the most out of his time with him today. It had been two weeks since the trial and sentencing of Michaels. It had brought him some peace but the rest of his peace, he was slowly gathering through rebuilding his life. He finished the black webbing. He was about to move on to the red paint when Jack walked in.

"Hey, Jack. Are you okay?" Reid asked.

"Dad is having a drink. He got tired playing soccer."

"Do you want to join Henry and me?"

"Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Reid nodded. "Come sit down and we'll get your face painted. Let me just finish Henry's Spider-man mask. What do you want to have on your face?"

Jack thought for a moment. "Can you make me like Dad?"

Reid thought for a moment. "That might just be giving you wrinkles. The little lines around your dad's eyes."

Jack giggled before thinking again. "Captain America."

"We have a superhero theme going on," Reid smiled. "I can do that."

He finished filling in between the webbing with the red paint and made it neater around the edges. He put down the brush and picked up the mirror. Henry laughed happily at the face paint. Reid cleaned the brush and grabbed the blue paint. Jack sat in front of him on the floor and closed his eyes as Reid painted them blue.

"Uncle Spence, do you want to have some fun?" Henry asked.

Reid looked at his godson. "What kind of fun?"

Henry grinned.

* * *

Reid knelt and peeked around the house. This was a dangerous situation. He wasn't sure if he could do it but he had two members of his team depending on him. He had the targets in front of him. He grabbed the small walkie-talkie and spoke into it. "On my count. One, two, three. Go!"

Reid quickly came around the corner and sent a jet of water at the team. They all gasped as the water hit them from both directions. Henry and Jack were on the other side of the garden hitting the team with jets of water. Reid let out a loud chuckle as he stopped firing. Henry and Jack stopped too and giggled. He spotted the look on Morgan's face but couldn't stop the smile on his face.

"Henry! Jack! Run!" Reid yelled as Morgan jumped off the porch. He ran away from Morgan with the water gun in his hand.

"You better run, Reid!" Morgan shouted.

"Henry! Jack! Uncle Spencer needs back up!"

Reid ran around the house and to the other gate that led to the garden. He turned the corner with Morgan hot on his heels. Henry and Jack popped out from the corner and hit Morgan square in the face with two jets of water.

Garcia had her phone out and was laughing while she captured everything on video. The rest of the team was smiling at the mayhem. Most of all, they were smiling at the fact that Reid seemed almost normal when he was having fun with Jack and Henry. None of the past few months seemed to be affecting him.

"Nice back up," Reid grinned before giving a high-five to Henry and Jack.

"I'm soaked," Morgan laughed.

"Don't mess with Batman," Henry said before putting his hands on his hip. Rossi burst out laughing with Blake and couldn't stop.

"Also, don't mess with Spider-man and Captain America," Reid smirked as he hugged both children close.

"I don't think that is very fair," JJ said.

"Am I trouble?" Henry pouted. He hated being in trouble.

"No, but I suggest you go reload," JJ smiled. "Mommy is getting her own water weapons."

Henry's pout turned into a beaming grin.

"You heard her boys," Reid said. "Time to reload. It's us against them."

"Can Penelope join us?" Jack asked.

Garcia made her way down the steps. "I'd love to. Do you have another water gun?"

Reid put his large water gun under his shoulder and pulled two medium-sized water pistols from the back of his belt. He passed them to Garcia. "There you go."

"You're full of surprises," she giggled.

"I'm Batman. What do you expect?"

* * *

Reid, Henry, Jack and Garcia went to the front of the house to use the hose. "You got ten minutes and then it's war," she shouted. They made their way to the hose.

"Wait, can I get a picture of you three?" she asked as she held her phone. "You all look so adorable."

Henry and Jack stood next to Reid and he put one hand on each of their shoulders. They all smiled and a flash went off as she took the photo. She stared at the photo and couldn't help but feel a warmth of love come through her heart at how well Reid was doing. He was having fun, more fun than he had in a long time.

**Please review**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I'm so happy you like my last chapter, I just wanted to give you all a nice family chapter. I felt Reid deserved it after everything I put him through. Enjoy this chapter.  
**

**Thank you again for all the reviews. They are all awesome you are all just the best. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid tapped his foot nervously as he waited for elevator doors to open. He was going into the BAU, for the last week he'd been trusted to stay at Morgan's house alone. He was still under Hotch's care. He wasn't allowed to live at his own apartment but he no longer needed supervision during the day. It was only at night when his nightmares came did he need help. They didn't happen all the time but when they did, he had trouble keeping himself calm. The doors opened and he walked into the BAU bullpen. He hated being at home, at least, today he did. It was silent and it reminded him too much of the mental facility. He made his way to Garcia's office, he couldn't see any sign of the team in the bullpen. He knocked on the door.

"Come in," Garcia called. He walked in, she didn't know it was him who had knocked as she was still looking at the computer screens.

"Hi, Garcia."

She immediately turned around and smiled at him. "Reid, what are you doing here?"

"The house was too quiet, I didn't like it. I didn't know where else to go."

"You are always welcome here," she said as she got up. She walked over to him and gave him a hug. She always gave him a hug these days. It was like she thought every hug might be the last hug. He didn't understand why. "Come on, baby boy. Let's get some coffee into you."

He smiled and followed her out of her office and down to the small kitchen area. She poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him. He put in his usual amount of sugar and stirred.

"Hey Garcia, can I get a cup?" a voice came from behind him. He turned around to see a man with glasses, black hair and green eyes walking over to the kitchen area. Garcia poured the man a cup of coffee and handed it to him. "I barely got any sleep, I need this to give me jolt."

The man looked to Reid. "Are you one of Garcia's technical co-workers?"

Garcia jumped in at that moment. "Logan, this is Dr Spencer Reid, the SSA that you are filling in for. Reid, this is Logan Truman."

Logan straightened up and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Dr Reid. I'm sorry I didn't know what you looked like."

Reid shook Logan's hand. "Nice to meet you too. Morgan told me about you a few weeks ago. It's okay."

"I've seen some of your work on cases and I have to say that I am a huge admirer. You've made breaks in cases that I don't think other agents could have seen."

"Thank you," Reid smiled. "How are you doing here?"

"I'm doing my best but I think filling in till your return is good enough for me. I got transferred down from another unit. I never really considered how much this job could affect me till I began."

"It takes you to some dark places but it can also take you to some beautiful places."

"Logan, have you finished your paperwork?" Garcia asked.

"I have," he nodded. "I was actually about to go for lunch. Dr Reid, would you like to join me? I know this great little café that isn't too far from here and I would love to talk to you about the BAU and past cases."

Reid thought for a moment. "I'd love to."

"Garcia, will you join us?" Logan asked.

"I can't, I'm sorry. I have a meeting in twenty minutes. Bring me back something," she said. "Oh, and Logan. You can take good care of Reid and if I see a hair missing, I'll mess your Macbook."

"Yes, Garcia," Logan smiled.

Reid felt nervous going off with someone he didn't know. Garcia seemed to sense this. Logan had walked away to grab his bag. She put her arm around Reid. "It's okay. He is a nice guy and he looks up to you. Call me if anything happens. You have to start trusting the world again and trusting that man is a good place to start."

"Okay," Reid nodded. "He seems like a nice man. What do you want brought back?"

"Something sweet," she winked.

* * *

Reid sat in the café with Logan as they waited for their meals to be brought over.

"Why would you not want to stay at the BAU?" Reid asked, breaking the silence between them.

"Your unit is highly respected within the FBI. When the directors asked me to fill in temporarily, I was incredibly excited and honoured to get asked. The thing is, I've been with the unit since your absence. It's clear that they care about you and that the unit is more of a family than a team. I hear them talking about you all the time and they worry about you. I also find some of the cases that I have been on, affecting me more than I would like them to. Seeing a woman traumatized after being held captive for two months is something that you will never forget."

"Morgan keeps saying that broken can get fixed," Reid said. "You can get back from being traumatized."

"I'm sorry, Dr Reid," Logan said. "I'm sorry about what happened to you and your parents."

"Thank you," Reid sighed. "I don't think I would still be here if my team had not kept a close eye on me. You are right, we are more than a team, we're a family. You need that in this line of work. Do you have a family?"

Logan nodded. "I have a wife and three children."

"You seem young to have three children."

Logan let out a small chuckle. "I am the proud father of triplets. Three diapers changes, three night feeds and three little girls who keep giving me the omen stare. I love them but it creeps me out when they stare at me like that. Do you have children?"

Reid took a sip of his drink. "No, I don't. Maybe in the future but after what I've gone through, I need to give it time. I have a godson though. He is quite energetic."

A waitress came over to them with their meals. They smiled at her and picked up their forks to eat.

"Dr Reid, when do you think you will be coming back?"

"I can't come back till my care order with Agent Hotchner gets completed and then I have to complete the psychological tests to see if I'm ready. I got lost in the trauma of what happened and part of me actually wonders if I should return."

"Are you serious?" Logan said in shock.

"Please don't tell my team," Reid said quickly. "I haven't decided yet. It's just, I let myself fall for a long time and I almost ended up dead. I just don't know if I could walk onto a crime scene and not react in a bad way. I watched my parents die and I don't think I could see another little boy lose his."

* * *

Garcia walked out of the office to see Logan and Reid laughing and talking. She walked over to them.

"Hello, you two. Did you bring me something sweet?"

Reid gave her a bag of baked goods and donuts. "We brought you a lot of sweet things."

"That includes yourself," Garcia giggled.

"Excuse me, I need to use the men's room. I'll be right back," Reid said before walking to the bathroom.

"Was he okay?" Garcia asked Logan.

Logan decided he had to say something. He liked Dr Reid and he didn't want to see the man lose his career. "Garcia, I think you need to talk with him."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"He doesn't know if he wants to return to this unit after everything that happened to him. I think he opened up to me because he didn't really know me. I have no experiences with him. He looks up to you all and depends on you all. I don't want to see him lose his career. This unit and the FBI needs him. No-one can replace that man. Talk to him."

**Please review**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and as always, I like to change things up a bit. Enjoy, my whumpettes.  
**

**Thank you again for all the reviews. They are all great, awesome and brilliant. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat in Garcia's office, eating one of the donuts that she had let him take from the bag. He was on her laptop researching some new books that he wanted to buy. He looked up when he noticed out of the corner of his eye that she was staring at him. "What is it, Garcia?"

She walked over to him and took the laptop off him. "I want to talk to you. Now, don't be angry. Logan told me about your worries about coming back to the BAU and that you might not want to. He didn't betray your trust, he honoured you by telling me this. He doesn't want to see you lose everything that you have worked so hard for. He knows that he could never replace you and no-one else could either. Talk to me, Reid. You've kept so much close to you in the last few weeks. You once trusted me to protect you, trust me to help you."

Reid closed his eyes and let out a small sigh. "What use would I be if I came back?"

"What do you mean?"

"I wouldn't be able to walk to a crime scene and just look at it like I did before. With all the things we see, the blood and the cold look in the eyes of the unsubs that kill because they like it, I just wonder if I could take it. Watching my mother and father die will haunt me for the rest of my life. I had her blood all over me," Reid said, the lump growing in his throat making his voice sound upset. "I just don't know if coming back is the right thing. Will I put you and the rest of the team in danger if I lose it when I'm holding a gun up to an unsub? I already put you in danger. Garcia, he stabbed you. I don't want another maniac out there with a vendetta to come back and hurt you all. I wouldn't survive that."

Garcia rubbed her stomach, remembered for a few seconds the moment when Michaels had shoved the knife into her gut.

"Reid, when we all came to this job, we knew there would be danger. We have all experienced pain and loss doing this job but because we are a family, we have stayed to together and helped each other regain back our lives. You are getting your life back and you know that. I won't sit here and demand that you change your mind and come back to the BAU. You need to do what is right for you. I can't make that decision for you. I just don't want you to rush into a decision and then regret that decision. I want you to be happy."

"I knew there would be danger, but I thought it would only be for me. I never thought it would touch my friends or take away my family. I could do other things, safer things, but I love my job in so many ways but I hate it in other ways. I've helped so many people get their lives back while losing so much in my own life. I'm not like the rest of you. Garcia, you have Morgan, your big group of friends and a social life. You all have lives. JJ has her family, Blake has her husband, Rossi has his friends, Hotch has Beth and jack. Morgan has you and his family. I find myself thinking about where I truly belong in the team. I don't have friends outside of work, I don't have a family, I lost that when Maeve got killed and when Michaels murdered my parents. I don't belong. I never have."

"You belong here, silly. We are your friends and we are your family. You belong with us because you're the glue that keeps us together. You belong to Henry and Jack, who both call you Uncle Spencer. Don't ever think that you don't have a place here because you do."

Reid got up from the couch and brushed his hand through his hair. "I need to think about this. I think I'm going to go back home."

"Have I upset you?"

"No," he shook his head. "I just need to process some things and I need to be alone to do it."

"Okay, I'll get someone to drive you home," Garcia said.

"I can get home myself. Besides, the team is busy and won't get back for a while and you are busy too. I'll see you later. Maybe we can watch a movie and talk then."

"You got it," she smiled. "See you later, baby boy."

She stood up and hugged him.

"Why do you always hug me when I see you and when I'm about to leave?"

"I don't know, I just need to. It helps me. I'll explain why later."

* * *

Reid made his way back home in a taxi, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the taxi driver who was talking using a hands free device, he seemed a bit angry. Looking out the window, Reid watched as the rain hit the ground and the window. He had no idea what was about to happen.

* * *

Pain was the first thing that registered as he woke up, his eyes fluttered for a moment before opening fully. He heard a voice coming from near him but he couldn't move to find where it was. He looked outside the window and noticed that he was upside down in the taxi. His seatbelt was the only thing holding him up. He jumped when a small hand touched his face. He looked out to see a brunette woman talking to him. He focused enough to concentrate on the voice.

"We've called for an ambulance. They'll be here soon. Are you okay?"

"I don't know," he gasped in shock. He took in the shattered glass and blood smeared on it. "Am I bleeding?"

She nodded. "Your head is bleeding really bad and your wrist looks really bad. I can see the bone."

"I can't feel it. I think I'm in shock. Please get me out of here!" he asked quickly.

"Is the person conscious?" Reid heard someone call. He recognised the voice.

"Morgan!"

Morgan quickly came into view with wide eyes. "Reid, shit. Are you okay?"

"No," Reid admitted. "What happened?"

"The taxi ran a red light," the brunette explained. "The bus just smashed into it."

Morgan came out of view for a moment but Reid heard him shout. He knew it was to the others in the team. "Guys, it's Reid!"

Reid's vision began to blur violently. He felt blood leak into his eyes. He barely registered the rest of the team arriving at the taxi before he succumbed to the peaceful darkness.

**Please review**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. It's tomorrow night's updates I'm not able to do, it's early Tuesday morning now, 4.00am to be exact and the movie I'm seeing is at midnight Wednesday. I probably won't be updating tomorrow. I am sorry. For the purposes of this story, the date below is the date in the criminal minds universe.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you are wonderful and beautiful. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"Wake up, sleepy head," a voice came from through the darkness. "Baby boy, wake up."

He licked his dry lips and opened his eyes sluggishly. He opened his eyes and felt his entire body ache. His vision got suddenly filled with the wonderful and angelic face of Penelope Garcia. A smile came across her face. He felt her hand stroking through his hair. "Garcia?"

"Hey, baby boy. You have given me the fright of my life," Garcia said before she took his uninjured hand and kissed the back of it. "We've all been so worried about you."

"What happened?" he said gently. He tried to sit up but he felt a rush of pain through his body. "Ow!"

"Don't move!" Garcia admonished as she pushed him back down in the bed. "You were in a car accident. Remember?"

Reid tried to remember but shook his head. "I don't really remember after leaving you."

"You left my office and caught a taxi home. Your taxi driver went through a red light and a bus smashed into it. Morgan and the others were coming back from a meeting with another agency when they saw the scene of the accident. Morgan came over to help and he found you inside the taxi. You fell unconscious and you've been out about a day, you hit your head pretty hard. I told you that you should have let me get someone to drive you home."

"What else got damaged?" Reid asked. "It feels more than just my head got hurt."

"You have a broken wrist, quite a severe break. The bone came through the skin. They had to pin it back in place and it will take some time to heal. You have two broken ribs, a nasty cut to your head, lots of bruises and cuts too. The doctor said that your abdomen area will also be sore from the force of the seat belt going into it. You also have whiplash."

"I feel like hell," he sighed. "Thanks for not giving me anything. I can tell."

"We wanted you to decide if you wanted any pain medication," she nodded. "Morgan is outside. I'm going to go and get him. I'll be right back."

He nodded slowly and watched her walk out of the room. A moment later, Morgan walked into the room with a relieved smile on his face. "It's good to see you awake, kid."

"Hey, Morgan. I don't think I like taxis anymore."

"You are never getting into another one for as long as you live. You scared the hell out of me when you fell unconscious in the back of that taxi. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a bus."

Morgan shook his head, a small smile on his lips. He sat down on the edge of the bed. He turned to face Garcia. "Can I have a few minutes alone with him?"

"Of course," she smiled. "I'll go and get some coffee."

"Can I have some?" Reid asked, using his best puppy eyes against her.

"No, you can't have any caffeine and using those adorable brown eyes is not going to make me disobey the doctor's orders."

"I can't believe you are denying me coffee. I just got hit by a bus."

Garcia let out a small laugh. "Stop asking or I will put you over my knee and spank you, young man."

Morgan burst out laughing before he turned to Reid. "Give up, dude."

"I give up," Reid sighed.

"I'll see you boys in a little while," she said before walking out of the room. Reid did not expect what happened next. Morgan quickly leaned down and gave him a gentle brotherly hug.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," Morgan said in his ear. "We almost lost you again yesterday."

"I'm sorry, I don't remember much about the taxi but I am sorry that I worried you all. The last thing I want is to be laying in this hospital bed feeling like a broken, beat up rag doll."

"You can go home in a few days," Morgan said. "The doctor wants to keep you in for observation for at least two days. You have a bad concussion so I'm not surprised that you can't remember the accident. Just rest up, kid. You'll be back to normal in no time."

"Back to at least some level of normal," Reid shrugged.

"Let's focus on your injuries first and then we will talk about definitions of normal. Face it, Reid. You have never really been normal. You're extraordinary."

"You're a big idiot," Reid laughed before giving a small yelp. He clutched his side with his freehand. "I can't laugh, remember that."

They continued to talk for a while before Garcia walked into the room. She was carrying two coffees and a few chocolate bars. She passed them to Morgan along with his coffee. "Thanks, Garcia. Um, could you get Reid some cold water in his jug? He's all out."

She put down her coffee and grabbed the jug. "I'll be back in a minute."

Morgan watched her walk out of the room. He passed his coffee to Reid. "Drink as much as you can before she comes back in."

Reid grabbed it and drank as many gulps as he could.

* * *

**Two days later**

Morgan helped Reid into the wheelchair, they were taking him out of the hospital today. Morgan gently ruffled Reid's hair to wake him up from his morning slumber. He grabbed Reid's belongings and began to push him out of the room. "Are we going home?"

"Not right away. Rossi wants you to swing by his house."

* * *

Reid walked slowly with Morgan supporting him. He had to take it slow and the doctor had advised a lot of rest before he tried to do anything too strenuous. He walked up the steps and through the house before they entered the garden. He smiled when he saw a banner. It read Happy Birthday. He was a little confused.

"It's not my birthday," Reid said in confusion.

"Kid, it's your birthday today," Morgan nodded. "It's October 9th."

It clicked inside his head. "Oh god, I forgot. My mum usually sent me something a few days before my birthday, it was a standing order no matter what state of mind she was in. I forgot it was my birthday."

Morgan the rest of the team exchanged sad looks. "It's a good thing we remembered then," Morgan grinned. "I hope you are ready for cake and presents."

Reid jumped but then grinned as a party popper exploded and the contents rained over his head.

**Please review**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. In honour of today being Halloween, its past midnight here and now the 31st, this chapter has a Halloween theme to it. I'm not sure how many chapters are left on this but I will let you know in tomorrows update. Thanks for being so understanding about me not updating yesterday. I'm also updating Connection tomorrow so look out for that. Enjoy and Happy Halloween everyone!  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you are amazing and absolutely brilliant. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid smiled as Henry sat next to him on the lounge chair in the garden. He was looking at a mountain of presents on the table with his name on. He had completely forgot that today was his birthday. Between the accident, dealing with his parent's deaths and pondering his future, he had not really remembered his birthday. Thirty two years old. He didn't feel that age. He felt older. Everything that had happened to him had aged him in his mind. He got drawn away from his thoughts when JJ passed a present to Henry who held it out to him. Reid smiled. "Hey, Henry. Uncle Spencer will need some help opening all the presents, do you want to help me?"

Henry nodded happily. Reid looked over to Jack. "Jack, you want to help us too?"

Jack came over and sat on the other side of the chair. "I'd love to."

"Let's open this one," Reid said as he held up a small present wrapped in purple wrapping paper. Jack and Henry unwrapped the present together, they finished and held it up to Reid. A large smile came across his face. It was a key ring that read 'The Raven'. He knew they had got it for him as Halloween was coming soon. He loved the works of Edgar Allan Poe. He looked to the name tag. "Thank you, Blake."

"I remember you telling me that you liked the poem. Is it okay?" she asked.

"I love it. Thank you," he nodded. He reached into pocket and retrieved his keys that the hospital had returned to him upon his release from the hospital. Morgan stepped in and took the keys and key ring.

"I'll put it on," Morgan said.

"Open this one!" Henry said as pointed to a large blue one with white ribbon on top. Hotch grabbed it and placed it on his lap. Jack and Henry began opening it. Rossi stepped in when he noticed it was a box with tape over it. He brought out his pen knife and cut it open. Jack reached into the box and pulled out a large model of a red double-decker bus. The kind seen in London. Reid felt confused over the gift. He tried to find who it was from but there wasn't a card attached to it. He looked up to the group. "Which one of you is this from?"

Two hands covered his eyes. He grinned as he heard the voice behind the hands. "Guess who?"

The hands came away and she stepped in front of him. "Emily!"

"Happy Birthday, Reid," she smiled before leaning down and giving him a gentle hug. "Do you like the present?"

"I love it but I love you being here more. You came all the way here from London, just for my birthday."

"I wouldn't miss this and I needed to check on you after I heard what happened."

"Hey, Aunt Emily," Jack smiled.

"Hey, Aunt Emily," Henry greeted.

"Hey boys, have you been taking care of Spencer for me?"

"Yeah," Henry nodded. "We made him into Batman."

"I know, I saw the video that Garcia sent me," Emily said before turning back to Spencer and smiling. "You make a good Batman. Good enough to sneak up on the team."

"Thanks. Fancy being Catwoman to my Batman?"

"Now, that is something I would want to see," Garcia giggled from in front of them.

* * *

Reid stood at the bottom of the stairs and waited for Garcia, Henry, Emily and Jack to come down them. Emily was all dressed as Catwoman, he as Batman. They had indulged Garcia's wish to see them in costume. Jack had gotten dressed in a Superman costume while Henry was all dressed as a mini goth. Garcia was also dressed in a goth outfit complete with black hair, black lips and white makeup on her face. He was able to go to other houses but his ribs still caused him trouble when he tried to go up and down stairs. They came back down.

"We got treat bags," Henry smiled. "We got one for you."

Jack held up a small bag and put it in Reid's pumpkin shaped bag.

"Thank you, you two," he smiled. Jack and Henry followed Garcia as they made their way to the next house. Emily took his arm and walked with him. She wobbled for a moment and he steadied her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she laughed gently. "Just not used to heels this high. At least you have padding if you fall over."

She patted the chest of the Batman costume causing him to laugh. "Padding is what I need with my luck. I'm glad you could stay for a few weeks."

"So am I. It's nice to have a break. It's even better to see you like this. You seem so happy and upbeat."

"I am happy," he sighed with a smile. "I guess I'm learning to get back into life again. Like tonight, I love watching Henry and Jack having so much fun and besides, who doesn't love dressing up as Batman."

"Who doesn't love dressing up as Catwoman?" Emily giggled. "Meow!"

Reid burst out laughing and only gave a small wince at some pain in his ribs. Emily still saw it. "Reid, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just laughed a little hard."

"Don't scare me like that," she admonished. "At least you're being careful with your wrist.

"Don't scare you!" he shook his head. "You are aware it's Halloween night."

* * *

Emily and Reid sat in Morgan's house with a pizza and a bottle of wine. They comfortably sat in the dark watching The Lost Boys. Reid had never seen it and Emily insisted they watch it. They had changed into their pyjamas after coming home from taking Henry and Jack out for Halloween. Morgan was spending the night with Garcia watching their own set of movies.

"This movie is actually pretty good," Reid said before taking a bite of his pizza slice.

"I'm glad you like it. I was sixteen when this came out in 1987, it was a few months before I turned seventeen."

"I was five, about to turn six in a few months."

"I forget how young you are sometimes."

"To both having birthdays this month," he said as he held up his wine glass. She clinked her glass against his.

"To getting old."

They laughed gently together before looking at each other. He didn't know what came over him, he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

**Now, this could go two ways. I'll let the reviews decide. Please review**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I'm sorry my updates are a little short today but my hands are giving me trouble and typing is a bit of a bugger. I hope every had a lovely Halloween. I got bored last night and had some fun with a mask and make-up. I was going to use it as my profile pic as I love how dark it is but I'm not sure. I have to say, Reid moment in Criminal Minds this week with the picture, I lost it and had to get a tissue. Damn him for being to do that to me. Enjoy the chapter! You have about five chapters left on this fanfic.  
**

**Looking at all the reviews, I went in this direction as it was the most popular way to go.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you are wonderful and beautiful. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid felt his lips touch her lips, a tingle of warmth travelled to his heart. His mind kicked in and took control. He came away and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Emily put her glass down and sat up. "Why are you sorry?"

"I had no right to just kiss you like that. I don't know why I did it. It felt nice," he smiled gently. "I'm really sorry, it just came over me."

"Why do you think that you kissed me?" she asked.

He looked up her and thought for a moment. He wanted to tell her the truth but he was afraid. He wasn't sure how she would react. He was happy when she was with him. She always knew what to say to him and always knew how to make him laugh. It was difficult to admit what was inside of him and why he had just kissed her.

"Reid, why did you just kiss me?"

"I kissed you because you make me happy," he admitted. "I haven't felt like this since Maeve. You understand me in ways that no-one else does. When I got trapped within my mind, you knew how to set me free. You brought me back to life and you gave me back control of my life. I kissed you because over the last few weeks, I have been able to put what happened to me and my parents behind me. When we walk through the park, I don't care about what people think about my scarred face. All I focus on during those walks is you and how much I miss you when you aren't here."

Reid rose up from the sofa gently. "I know you don't feel the same way. You have a life in London and you told me about that guy that you like there. I'm sorry I kissed you. I had no right."

He walked away to the bedroom. Emily paused the movie and followed him. "Reid, don't walk away. We need to talk about this."

He turned back and faced her.

"At any point did I tell you that kissing me was something you had done wrong. You don't have to apologise for kissing me. The truth is, I've really enjoyed spending time with you too. A woman says she likes a different guy, every few days. It's called a stupid crush," she said before walking up to him and touching the scars on his face. "These don't scare me."

"They scare me," he said. "They're reminders of what can happen and how quickly things I love can get ripped away from me. I don't want to get close to you like that because I'm afraid I'll lose you. I'm going to lose you in a few days when you go back to London."

Emily brought her arms around him and hugged him. "Nothing like what happened to you parents will happen to me or the team. You don't have to lose me when I go back to London. I like being around you and I care for you deeply too."

She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. She stroked her hand through his short hair and came away from the kiss. "Do I have to apologise for kissing you?"

He smiled and closed his eyes. "Definitely not."

She let out a small chuckle and took his hand. "Let's go back to the living room and sit on the couch. We can talk more there."

They made their way back to couch and she helped him sit back down without hurting his ribs. She sat next to him and smiled at him.

"Are you truly serious about how you feel about me?" she asked.

"I am," he nodded. "I just know that we could never have what other people have. We are separated by over 3,797 miles. You work for Interpol and there is chance that the BAU won't accept me back with all the problems I've had. You're the one who spoke to me and made me see the sense in returning to the BAU. How would we ever have something romantic? We would never have time for each other."

"That doesn't mean that we shouldn't at least try. I like you, Spencer. I want to have something with you but you are still fragile and we need to take things slow. I'm willing to try to have a relationship with you but we would need to go slow and make time. Can you handle a relationship while also rebuilding your life?"

"A relationship with you would be the building block that I rebuild my life on. I forget the horror I've seen when I'm with you. It all goes away and gets replaced with the times we've had together. I had these feeling before you left the unit and while I was just beginning to talk to Maeve. There was nothing romantic until after you left. I haven't felt this way since she died. Seeing you fills the void that hurts."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I thought you had feelings for Morgan," Reid shrugged.

"Feelings for Morgan!" Emily said in surprise. "Why would you think that?

"I saw you at JJ's wedding. The way he looked when he danced with you and the time you had spent together before you left. I saw love there."

"The love of family," she smiled. "Morgan has always been like a protective big brother to me. I do love him but only as family. I feel love for you in another way."

"I'm sorry, I just thought I saw something between you two. You've always been the person to see through my secrets and to understand how I truly feel. When Gideon left, you made things make more sense. You saw through the shield I had when I had my headaches. You have always seen through my mind and known what I am thinking. You understand me, Emily. More than anyone."

Emily came forward and kissed him on the lips. He kissed her back and enjoyed the touch of her lips on his. She came away and smiled. "You do realise that tonight will only involve kissing. You have two broken ribs healing. I'm not breaking a third."

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	33. Chapter 33

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I know some of you are a bit nervous about the Emily and Reid direction I'm going in but I promise not to mess it up. Well, I'll try. Enjoy. Sorry for not updating this yesterday but hands were really bad. Any way, enjoy!  
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**Thank you for all the reviews, you are superb and just the best wonders in the world. Thank you!**

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**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat down on the sofa and watched television. He looked to the door as it opened. Emily walked in and sat down next to him. He kissed her and smiled. He had flown to London to spend some time with her. She had left a few weeks ago and they had spoken on the phone and on Skype.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked.

"I would love one, Dr Reid," she sighed as she slipped off her shoes. "I am so glad to get these off. Comfy new shoes, they are not."

Reid rose from the sofa and went into the kitchen. He poured her a glass of wine and passed it to her. She took a sip and let out a content smile. "I'm happy you are here," she smiled. "What did you do with yourself today?"

"I went out and I did some sightseeing. London is a strange place but it has this wonderful charm to it. Plus, I found a lot of memorabilia from some different stores. I did feel nervous about walking on my own but I got a call from Garcia and she calmed me down. I also had to buy some things for her."

"I'm happy that you are enjoying yourself here. I'm going to miss you when you go back to Virginia in a few days."

"I'm going back to the BAU in two weeks. I've loved spending the last week here with you and I'm afraid that when I go back to the BAU, we won't have time for each other."

"We'll make time," she promised. "We better make the most of the time we have left together while you are here," she said before snuggling against him. "Give me an hour and then we make some plans. I honestly think that I fell asleep doing all that paperwork. One paper after the other."

"I bet you miss being able to sneak files into my pile of paperwork," he chuckled. "I remember the days where I would go and get some coffee, then come back to find about four extra files on my pile."

"You love paperwork and you know it," she laughed gently. "You went into a lovely trance when you did your paperwork. The moment you finished, the facts would come flowing out and you would make up for all the time you were quiet. I like the little facts you come out with."

"Facts such as Maine is the only state in the US that only has one syllable."

Emily let out a small laugh. "Yes, facts like those."

"Emily, why did you leave? You left the BAU, I never thought you would leave us."

"I won't lie to you. I left because I don't think things were the same after I came back. I never meant to lie to you all but it was the only way I could stay safe and keep you all safe. If I had come back to you, Doyle would never have gotten caught and you would all be put in danger. It shook me. Almost dying and leaving you all. When I went to buy that house, it hit me. I could put roots down somewhere but everything I had could be taken from me just as easily. I left because I needed a fresh start but I didn't want to leave you all behind either. I made a new start here but I keep you all in my life."

"I understand the need for a fresh start," he sighed. "The night they died still haunts me and I don't know what I can do to get over it. I want to go back to the BAU but at the same time, going back would hurt. I'll catch all these killers and criminals but I'll always know that I didn't catch the one killer that murdered my mother and father. I didn't stop him and he killed them. He's still in prison. Rotting away."

Emily sat back up and hugged her arms around him. "Your parents were wonderful people and I know that no matter what you choose to do in life, they'll be proud of you. Most of all, I think that they would just be happy you are still alive."

"They wouldn't be proud of me after everything that happened after."

"What do you mean?"

"My dad told me to stay strong and I wasn't afterwards. I broke down and I ended up in a mental hospital where they almost overdosed me. I just couldn't cope with losing them but after all the support that the team has given to me, I feel better. I'm able to deal with things better."

"You've always been strong," she said gently. "You got away from Kevin Michaels when he kidnapped you and you sat in that court room for as long as you could when he was on trial. What he made you watch traumatized you and I doubt that anyone would be the same after witnessing their parents being stolen from them in such a horrific way. You've never been weak. You've built yourself up from such a dark abyss and I'm proud of you. Your parents are proud of you and I'd like to believe that they are watching you in some way."

"Even though I'm a man of science, I'd like to believe that too," he smiled. He leaned forward and kissed her. "You always know the right things to say."

* * *

Emily stroked Reid's nose as he slept peacefully. He had showed signs of having a nightmare a few minutes before and this seemed to calm him down. This is something that she never pictured herself doing but she loved doing it. Laying in bed with Spencer and helping him. She stopped stroking his nose and laid back on his chest. He was right about one thing. She could see all his secrets and he could see all of her secrets.

Back with Doyle, he'd known that something was wrong. She remembered him going into the interrogation room with Doyle all that time ago. He'd fought for her that night and did what was right. She would miss him when he went back to Virginia.

* * *

"Reid, stop it," she giggled as he kissed down her neck.

"Never," he laughed before kissing her on the lips. He rolled back to his side of the bed and laughed. "I have something for you."

He reached into a draw and brought out a necklace with a small key on it.

"What is this?" she asked as he gave it to her. She looked at the key and saw the word 'Tardis' printed on it.

"It's a replica Tardis key," he grinned. "It only unlocks one thing in the world and I want you to know that you have unlocked my heart."

Emily gave a small giggle. "That is the most wonderful, yet geeky and corny thing you could ever say to me. I love it. Thank you."

She placed it over her head and around her neck. She leaned over and kissed him. "You love Doctor Who too much."

"First of all, no-one can love Doctor Who too much," Reid grinned. "Besides, you love Kurt Vonnegut books too much."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"I'll just be smart then."

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	34. Chapter 34

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I love Doctor Who and I love referring to it in my fanfics. I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. Enjoy! Only three chapters left!  
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**Thank you for all the reviews, you are wonderful and I can't stop thanking you all for being such great readers. Thank you!**

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**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat at his desk, it was his first day back and he still couldn't shake the nerves that held him. He looked around the bullpen and watched as the rest of the team just going about with their jobs as normal. He felt like a stranger among them. He had finished the paperwork he'd been given and knew he had other phone consultations to make. He felt afraid to pick up the phone. The profile he would give would help others find the unsubs. What if he got it wrong? He didn't want to let a mistake he made ruin someone's life. His cellphone beeped and he picked it up. He opened the email.

_Hello Doctor Who,_

_I hope you're having a nice day. I miss you and I can't wait to see you again. Chatting to you on the webcam, just isn't the same. It's your first day back and it is okay to feel nervous. I'm here for you if you need to talk. Say hello to all the team, especially Garcia. I've sent you a gift and it should have arrived today. I hope you like it._

_Love you,_

_Queen Emily_

Reid grinned at the email and hit the reply button. They used their phones to email each other as they didn't want their relationship being known to the places they worked at. Their emails were private and away from any servers.

_Hello, Queen Emily._

_I am nervous. I feel like I'm going to make a mistake in a profile and cause pain to someone else's life. I miss you too and I can't wait to see you again. I hope you're having a nice day and I'm intrigued. What gift have you sent to me? I'll say hello for you. You should know that Garcia keeps asking about us. She wants all the latest details. I love your nickname for me._

_Love you too,_

_Your Doctor Who_

"Awww," came a voice from above him. "You call her Queen Emily."

Reid sent the message quickly and turned around to see Garcia staring down at him. "Garcia, you shouldn't peek at people's private things."

"That is practically my job description," she laughed gently. "How is it going between you two?"

"Good," he smiled. "I miss her and I just want to see her again."

"It must be difficult being so far away from each other. It's nice to see you both happy and together though. You light up when you get a message from her or after you've spoken to her. So, you are Dr Who?" she smiled at him.

"I am," he shrugged. "She's Queen Emily. I gave the nickname to her during a day out in London. She was playing around with a tiara and ordering me around playfully. She likes it."

"How are you feeling on your first day back?"

"Nervous and I don't feel ready," he admitted. "I feel like a stranger here and I'm afraid of making a mistake that will let a killer go free. I don't want to have more blood on my hands"

"Oh, honey," she said gently. "You are good at your job and one thing I know you are confident in, are your profiling abilities. You have a profile and you give it to the department that requests it. You know that you can do this."

"I'm just worried about failing more people. I failed my mom and dad. I don't want to fail the rest of the team and you."

"You won't fail us or anyone else, baby boy. You're a great profiler. Just have little more faith in yourself."

"I'll try," he smiled.

* * *

He yawned as he made his way back to his apartment. He'd only been back in it a week but he had to admit, it felt like home. He was about to unlock his door when his neighbour came out. "Spencer, a package came for you."

She gave it to him.

"Thank you."

His neighbour went back into her apartment and he made his way into his. He put the package on the table and ripped away the protective packaging. He took the large bubble wrapped object and unwrapped it. He grinned as he picked up a small card.

**_Every Queen needs her King,_**  
**_Love, Emily_**

He picked up the small crown and let out a small chuckle. He placed it on his head and went to the mirror. He took a picture and attached it an email. He knew he had to send a picture of himself to Garcia too.

_Dear Emily,_  
_I love it and I'll happily be your King._

_Your, Doctor Who._

* * *

Reid made his way through the prison corridor. He sat down in front of the glass panel and waited. He had to do this now while he had the strength to do it. He watched as Kevin Michaels got escorted to the other side of the glass. He picked up the phone and Michaels did the same.

"Well, well. I didn't ever expect to see you again, Spencer."

"I don't think anyone would want to see you, Kevin. Especially with a screwed up hand like yours."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, Spencer. Words can never hurt me."

"It seems other inmates are," Reid smiled. "You get those bruises and that limp from being some guy's bitch."

Kevin gripped the phone tighter. "You think you are a smart one. You're not, Spencer. You weren't smart enough to save your parents."

"I had no ability to save my parents. I realise that now. I couldn't break out of those cuffs and I certainly did not kill them. You cut my mother's throat and you cut off my dad's head. I bet you bragged about killing my parents but I don't think they took too kindly to you killing a woman with a mental illness. You see, Kevin. I've come to learn from a good and wonderful friend that I could not have predicted that night. I couldn't have broken out of my restraints. I didn't kill them, you did. I hope you enjoy the rest of your life in prison because I doubt you'll last much longer."

"They are still gone," Kevin smiled. "I can sleep peacefully knowing I avenged my father's death."

"You avenged a pedophile's death. Your dad was a sick and twisted bastard. He killed and raped a little boy called Riley Jenkins and he was going to come after me next. My parents did the right thing. They probably saved so many lives. Your dad is burning is hell and one day, you'll take a seat next to him."

"Fuck you," Kevin said angrily.

"No, Kevin. Fuck you," Reid smiled. "I hope the one who owns you comes and gives you a visit tonight."

Reid slammed down the phone and walked away from Kevin. He had made himself known and had dealt a blow to Kevin. He felt proud of himself for facing the man who had killed his parents and brought so much pain into his life.

Now, he was just looking forward to going home and video chatting with his girlfriend.

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	35. Chapter 35

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I apologise for not updating yesterday but I was really tired, my head hit the pillow and the next thing I knew, it was time to wake up. I'm really sorry. Winter is strange time for me. I'm like a bear, I hibernate in my bed with little cupboard of snacks nearby. I hope you like this chapter. Two chapters left!  
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**Thank you for all the reviews, I think you are amazing and absolutely brilliant. Thank you!  
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**Enjoy and please review  
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**All mistakes are my own**

Reid let out a small moan as he heard a knock on his door. He rose from his bed and made his way to the door. He looked through the peephole and immediately opened the door. "Emily, what are you doing here?"

"I came to surprise you," she smiled. She stepped forward and kissed him on the lips. "I've missed you so much."

He kissed her back. "I missed you too. What time is it?"

"It's 4.00am. I was going to wait till later to come here but I just couldn't wait. Can I come in?"

He stepped aside, she walked in with a large suitcase behind her. "Emily, you didn't tell me you were coming. I would've tidied the apartment up. I'm so happy to see you. How long are you staying here for?"

"I want to stay permanently," she said as she stood up her suitcase. "I want to come back to Virginia."

"Are you serious?"

"I am," she nodded. "I can't stand this. I want to come back. I've had to do some things at Interpol that have gone against my principals lately. I don't like being this far away from you all. I don't like being away from you. We talk over Skype and we email but I want to stay here. I've already given in my resignation. Spencer, I have spent a big part of my life putting my career ahead of things I really want. I'm not doing that this time. I am putting my life first and I want to spend my life here, with you."

Reid stepped forward and kissed her. "I thought you were afraid of putting down roots. Are you sure that you want to do this?"

"I've already done it," she said before hugging him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he grinned. "Let's get some breakfast, I bet they didn't give you anything nice on the plane."

"I got a different plan," Emily said before pulling him towards the bedroom. "We haven't seen each other in over two months. Fun time and then breakfast."

* * *

Reid walked into work that day, hand in hand with Emily. She had decided to come in and see everyone. Garcia saw her first. She rushed forward and hugged Emily while having a huge grin plastered on her face. "Oh, Emily! I'm so happy to see you."

"Hey PG," Emily said.

"Why didn't you tell us that you were coming?" Garcia shook her head as she came away from the hug. "I would have made cookies."

"You can make me cookies when you want. I'm staying in Virginia. I'll have to fly back in about a week to settle some things but I've decided to come back and stay here. I'll miss England but I feel that this is where I belong."

Garcia clapped her hands happily before hugging Emily again. "You aren't joking around with me, are you?"

"She's not," Reid laughed. "She's staying here and she's going to live with me. A girlfriend should live with her boyfriend."

"I've had to do some things recently at Interpol that I haven't felt comfortable doing. I've thought about it long and hard and I'm putting my life in front of my career. I want other things now and I want to have those things with Spencer. I gave in my resignation and I'm not longer part of Interpol."

"You seemed so excited about it before," Garcia said.

"It changed and I watched some things happen that I just couldn't feel comfortable watching or eventually doing. Besides, I'm closer to my family now and after a few months off, I'll find something new."

"I'm so happy you are staying. We have to celebrate your return."

* * *

They clinked their glasses together. "To Emily and her return," Rossi said before they all took a drink.

"It's nice to see you back, Em," JJ said.

"It's good to be back," she said before holding Reid's hand. The team couldn't help but feel a warm feeling in their hearts as they watched Reid and Emily together. After everything that Reid had gone through, the loss, the pain and the difficult recovery, he had found happiness and helped bring the missing member of the BAU family back into everyone's life. Garcia had a feeling about Emily. She had watched Emily over the years and seen her pass over relationships in favour of an advance in her career. Emily had finally found something wonderful with Reid. She was putting her life first and looking forward to a future where she was in control.

"Queen Emily has returned," Garcia smiled.

"She's returned to her king," Reid winked at Emily.

* * *

Reid sat in front of his parent's graves, they'd been buried next to each other. He looked at them and felt tears burn his eyes, he'd been afraid to come here. He had been afraid but he felt comforted by them. He took a deep breath.

"Hello, mom. Hello, dad. I'm sorry that I haven't come here till now. I've struggled with what happened to you and with what happened to me because of Kevin Michaels. I just couldn't cope with seeing you both taken away from me. I miss you both, every single day. I keep a picture of you both at home and at work. Mom, I hope you are happy where you are now and that your illness doesn't rule you anymore. Dad, I hope you are taking care of mom. I want you both to know that I'm happy and even though, I couldn't cope before, I'm better now. I have a girlfriend and my family is helping me. I wish you were both still here," he said before wiping his cheeks. "I don't think I'll ever truly get over what happened that night but I hope you are both happy and at peace. Michaels is in prison and he can't hurt any one else. Dad, I know we didn't have the greatest relationship during my life but I want you to know that I love you and I wish we'd had more time together. Mom, I love you too. I'm sorry I didn't see you as much as I should have but I hope you can forgive me. I hope you are proud of me. I'm proud being your son, mom and dad."

He placed lilies in front of his mother's headstone, they were her favourite flowers when she was alive.

"Goodbye, both of you. I love you both and I'll never forget what you taught me. Be strong and don't be scared."

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	36. Chapter 36

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. The next chapter is the last chapter! There is a time jump in this chapter. I hope you don't mind but I'm ending this on a nice note in the next chapter. Enjoy!  
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**All mistakes are my own**

**Five years later**

Reid laid in bed, he loved the feeling of the warm sun on his skin. He didn't want to leave the warmth of his bed. He let out a small grunt as he felt a little body slam onto his back. He turned around. "Ethan, don't jump on daddy."

"Wake up!" the four-year old said happily.

Reid got out of bed and brought his son into his arms. He hugged him close before walking towards the kitchen. He suddenly couldn't move as two children hugged his legs and laughed. He looked down and laughed. "How am I supposed to make breakfast if I can't move? I take it no-one wants coco pops then."

The two children came away from his legs and grinned. "Sorry, daddy," they said unison.

He led all three of his children into the kitchen where he sat them at the table. He put on the small red television in the kitchen so they could watch cartoons. He brought out their small bowls and poured coco pops into each one. He added the milk and put them in front of his children. "Eat up. We got a big day ahead of us."

He went to kitchen side and grabbed himself a cup. He poured himself a nice big coffee before turning around to face his children. He never thought his life would turn out like this but he loved his life. The last five years had been very peaceful, something he had been grateful for. After a long time getting his life back together, he had a life that he never wanted to lose. Emily was a wonderful wife to him and a wonderful mother. She had not stopped smiling throughout the pregnancy even though there were difficulties when she was carrying the triplets. Two boys and girl. Ethan and Riley were inseparable as brothers but even at such a young age, they were protective of their sister, Rosie. They had let Garcia name their daughter. The day Emily had told him she was pregnant, he'd been overjoyed. The day they had found out they were expecting triplets had shocked them.

Emily had been in England for the last two weeks, Clyde Easter had called her and asked her to help him with a case that they had worked on while she was still at Interpol. She was flying back today and they were all going to meet her at the airport. The triplets were eager to see their mother after two weeks of her being away. He went to the front door and collected the newspaper. They lived in a four bedroom house, a gift from Emily's mother after she had found out she was getting grandchildren. Ethan and Riley shared a room because they wanted to. Rosie had her own room, a pink and purple heaven for a four-year old girl.

He sat down at the table with the paper and looked up when the triplets giggled at the television. He read the newspaper till his daughter spoke.

"Finished, Daddy!" Rosie smiled.

"Good girl, you want some juice?" he asked.

"Yes, please."

He got up from the table.

"Daddy, can we have some juice?" Riley asked before pointing to Ethan.

"Of course, what's the magic the word?"

"Please!" Ethan smiled.

Reid walked to the fridge and grabbed some juice. He put it into small rainbow striped cups.

"Yucky!" Riley spluttered while Rosie giggled. Reid turned around and saw his son holding his coffee mug. He rushed over and took the mug from him.

"Riley, don't drink that. That is for grown ups."

"It horrible," Riley shook his head. Reid passed them each a cup of juice.

"It won't taste horrible when you go to college."

* * *

Reid waited with Rosie, Riley and Ethan as the flight landed and the passengers began to come through arrivals. Riley had a bunch of flowers, Rosie had a card she had made herself and Ethan had balloons. They all rushed forward when Emily walked towards them.

"MOMMY!"

She put down her suitcase and opened her arms. All three of her children rushed into her arms and hugged her while still holding her presents. "Oh, Mommy has missed you so much! I love you. My two littles princes and my little princess."

"Miss you too, mommy," Rosie said as she stepped back. She gave the card to her. "I made it for you."

Emily opened the card and saw little flowers and swirls. It read 'Welcome back, Mommy.'

"I love it, Rosie."

"I got these," Riley smiled before giving her flowers. She smelled them.

"They are beautiful, Riley. I see my little Ethan has brought me balloons. Thank you, Ethan."

Reid came forward and kissed her. "Welcome back, my queen."

"Greetings, my king," she laughed. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. Come on, Garcia and Rossi are throwing a welcome back dinner for you. Those two in a kitchen, we are definitely taking the leftovers."

* * *

"Ethan, let Rosie watch her cartoon. You can watch yours on the way home," Reid said. Ethan sat back and let his sister watch her cartoon. They were almost at Rossi's house. Emily was in the passenger seat fixing her make-up.

"You look beautiful, why are you putting on more make-up?"

Emily looked at him. "You may think I'm beautiful but I'm not at the moment. That flight was not great and I look like I fell out of bed."

* * *

"Aunty Penny!"

Garcia smiled when she saw the triplets run to her. She hugged each of them. "Hello, my little munchkins."

Reid watched as Garcia brought out three gift bags and gave one to each. He watched them sit in the garden and open each bag. Rosie brought out crayons and a colouring book while the boys brought out toy robots.

"You spoil them," he said to Garcia as she came to him.

"I'm allowed to," she shrugged.

"Re-Re!" a voice screeched happily behind them. He turned around and opened his arms. He swooped the one year old into his arms.

"There is my little Scarlett," he smiled. "Your mommy is spoiling your cousins."

Garcia watched her little girl cuddle against Reid. She knew that Scarlett saw him as a father figure. Garcia had no contact with the father since he had gotten her pregnant and then left. She had made sure his computer life had gotten destroyed.

* * *

Reid took another bite of his food and felt his taste buds explode. Rossi and Garcia were the best cooks in his mind. He looked up to see Blake talking to Rosie using sign language. Blake had taught her small things and then more difficult sign language. Rosie was very smart and loved to learn. Riley was playing with Morgan and both were balancing a spoon on their noses. Hotch was cutting up Ethan's food while JJ poured him another drink. Rossi brought out another plate of pasta.

"You having a nice day?" Emily asked him.

"Apart from being body slammed by Ethan this morning, I am. He jumped a bit hard. I'm happy you're back. I missed you."

"I missed you too," she smiled before kissing him on the lips. "I don't know what I would do without you."

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	37. Chapter 37

**Hey everyone, here is the last chapter for you all. I hope you have all enjoyed this fanfic as I have enjoyed writing it. I am starting a new fanfic but not for a few days. I'm still updating my other two on going ones though till then. Thank you again for being such wonderful readers and for being so supportive of this fanfic. You keep me going and I adore you all. I have loved the reviews and you are all amazing for doing them. Thank you! I hope you like the ending to this.  
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**All mistakes are my own**

Reid smiled as he sat down next to Garcia. She held her one year old in her arms as the little one slept. "She's such a good little girl."

"I love her," Garcia sighed happily. "She means everything to me. How can he not want anything to do with her?"

"He's a bastard, that's why. He chose his own selfish needs above his own daughter and above you. I know that you gave your heart to Jeremy and when he left, it hurt you. I just want you to know that I'm always here and you know Morgan will also help you. He loves Scarlett as if she were his own daughter. I never understood why you two didn't ever get together."

"That is a conversation for another day," she shrugged. "Thank you for everything that you've done for Scarlett and me. You gave me all the triplets old baby toys and Rosie's baby clothes. You held my hand when she was born. Morgan is so jealous of you, he hates that he was out-of-town that day. I don't know what I would have done without you talking me through the birth."

"You helped me so much when I lost my parents and you kept me alive back then. You helped Emily and me when the triplets were born. Three babies and a lot of crying, we don't know what we would have done without you. I've never seen three babies all quiet down at the same time. You simply looked down at them and they immediately calmed down. You are truly an angel."

Garcia let out a big smile before stroking Scarlett's nose. "She's the angel."

Morgan came and sat down next to them. "What are you two talking about?"

"Just about how much of an angel Scarlett is," Reid said. Scarlett opened her eyes and smiled at her mother. "Mama," she cooed. She turned her little head to see Morgan. She reached out her arms and Morgan quickly swooped her into his arms.

"Hey, little butterfly."

Scarlett giggled happily before leaning against his chest. Garcia watched her daughter make happy noises.

"Morgan, would you like to have dinner tomorrow?" she asked. "At my apartment."

"I'd love to," he grinned before kissing Scarlett on the cheeks. She giggled in his arms and jumped up and down. "You are the most beautiful baby girl in the world."

Garcia and Reid looked at each other and knew that Scarlett wasn't leaving Morgan any time soon.

* * *

Hotch, Rossi and Reid sat on the porch with drinks in their hands. Rossi and Hotch were both happy with how far Reid had come in five years. He had managed to work through all the pain and loss and build his life back up again. He had three beautiful children that he loved, children that had brought him back to life. Rossi watched as Reid stroked the leather cuff around his wrist. The cuff had different colours on, along with the word 'DAD' stitched into it.

"I never see you without that on," Rossi said.

Reid looked up at him. "The kids made it for me. I never take it off."

"They are wonderful," Hotch mused. "Rosie takes after you the most."

"Riley and Ethan are as tough as their Mom," Reid chuckled gently. "Rosie loves to learn."

"Garcia said that there was an incident at the preschool."

"Another boy was making Rosie cry. Riley and Ethan saw and pretty much tackled the kid to the ground. They had a fight and I got called in. I understand that they were just protecting Rosie but the teacher called them brutish little monsters."

"A little harsh," Rossi said.

"You should have seen Emily," Reid chuckled. "No-one calls our kids little monsters without incurring the wrath of their mother."

"You've come a long way, Reid," Hotch said.

"I know," he nodded. "I wish my parents were alive to see them though. My mom when on a good day would have cuddled them and never let them go. I think my dad might have even come back into my life to see them."

"I'd like to think that they are looking out for those three kids from somewhere," Rossi assured him.

"I'd like to think so too."

* * *

Reid carried his daughter to bed. Emily was putting Ethan and Riley into bed while he put Rosie to bed. She was a daddy's girl, he knew that. He helped her get ready before she climbed into bed. He pulled the covers over and grabbed her favourite teddy bear. "Did you have a nice day at Rossi's today?"

"It was fun," she smiled before hugging her bear. "Penny got me crayons."

"I know she did. Did you say thank you?"

"Yes, daddy."

"Good girl," he smiled. "Rosie, I want you to know that Mommy and Daddy will always love you and I won't let anything happen to you or your brothers."

"I love you too, Daddy. Love Mommy too. I love grandma and grandpa too."

"Do you want to say goodnight?"

Rosie nodded. He took the small locket that hung over the small corner of the bed. It had belonged to his mother and it was now Rosie's locket. He always wanted her to have a part of her grandmother with her. He opened it up and put it in her hand. He had found two pictures and got them resized to fit in the locket. One side had a picture of his mother, smiling and looking like an angel. The other had his father smiling with a baseball cap on. Rosie took the locket and smiled at it. "Goodnight, Grandma. Goodnight, Grandpa."

Reid took the locket as she handed it back. He hung it above her bed on the corner. He went to close the locket.

"Daddy, open!"

He left it open. He leaned down and gave Rosie a hug. "I love you so much, Rosie."

"I love you more, daddy."

Reid chuckled before putting on the nightlight and turning of the lamp. He kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams."

He closed the door and made his way to the living room. Emily came and sat next to him a few minutes later. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" he said.

"You look a little upset."

"Rosie was just saying goodnight to her grandparents. I always feel a little sad when she does it but it means so much to me that she does do it. I want them all to know about their grandparents."

"They do," she nodded. "Rosie likes it when I put Bob Dylan songs on. She said that she like Grandma's songs. Ethan and Riley like throwing the baseball that belonged to your dad to each other. Your parents will always be part of their lives. Spencer, we brought three beautiful and smart children into the world. You have come a long way since your parents got killed. We don't even had to worry about Kevin. He's dead and our family is safe."

"I know. I love our family and I am grateful for every day I've had with you. I don't know what I would have done without you. You gave me my three wonders and together, I know that we will never have any worries. I love you."

"I love you too," she said before kissing him. "My handsome king."

"My sexy queen."

Reid kissed Emily and kept kissing her. He had lost everything but with help from his family, he had gained it back with a lot more on top. He loved his children and the man who had murdered his parents was dead. Murdered in prison by another inmate. He felt safe and he felt happy.

He would never let that happiness go. Not without a fight.

**Please review and thank you again for reading!**


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